The Enigma

Did you know that I have just turned 23 a few days ago?

I'm the kind of person who tells everyone about my birthday since January. Sometimes how I remind them of my birthday can be subtle, other times just plain annoying and borderline obnoxious. I don't know, I just really like doing that, it's kind of my thing. Yeah, I probably need to get a new hobby...

Anyway, I know that a lot of my friends have been here before I do. In fact, since I'm sort of the younger one in my friendship circle, I kind of always arrive in a phase behind the rest of my peers. It's like, they've been here, done that. But it also made me go through the many stages of life that we went through together earlier than they've ever were, so sometimes people would say, I'm wise beyond my years, but sometimes also very, very childish.

I honestly don't know what I'm going to do with being 23. Some of you might know better than I do. Some of you might even think, "What are you doing? You're an adult! You should've figured yourself out!" 

All I know right now is that I'm older. Much, much older than I think I am. Sometimes when I see high school kids, I think fondly of my miserable high school years and the realize... Damn. That was almost 10 years ago. I don't know about you, but sometimes I feel like I have the mentality of a college student. I know I have a full-time job now, yes, but sometimes I thought that there would be a holiday period waiting for me. That there would be a break somewhere down the line. I keep waiting for that moment when I can just stay at home all day not thinking about a single hard thing but then I realize... I should feel so lucky that I don't have that kind of time anymore. I should feel so lucky that I have a job that requires me to spend most of my time sitting in front of a computer, typing shit that sometimes I don't even believe in. Hell, I should feel so lucky that I have all these things that I have right now, at 23 years old.

Of course, there's always room for improvement. Like a more existent love-life, for example. Or a more fit body. Or simply a more healthy diet and lifestyle. After all, life is not supposed to be all work and no play at all, and I know that. I know. I'm just not good at finding things that I like. I'm not very good at determining whether I really want something. I'm not good with money, and terrible at making plans. I hope I will get better with all of these things, and perhaps even more that I failed to mention...

For the time being, let's just start off 23 years old with caring about treating my skin and applying my creams in upward motions :)