Anonymous

Life is painless for the brainless

2012-01-19T14:02:00.007+07:00

I may be boring you, but I guess this is called an obsession. Like I've had an obsession with John and Yoko. Paul and Linda. Posh and Becks. Sid and Nancy. Well, that kind of obsession. One week after seeing the show, all that singing and dancing is still haunting me. This might be a new obsession of mine. Only this one is fictional, though.

This is Fiyero and Elphaba, in the iconic scene during As Long As You're Mine

This is Fiyero, who's already turned into a Scarecrow, and Elphaba, embracing just after he opens the trap door to find her at the end of the musical.

I'm looking forward to my next musical experience. Something like Rent, or Mamma Mia, or maybe even Les Miserables and The Phantom of The Opera.

pictures stolen from here

One Short (holi)Day

2012-01-16T22:58:00.010+07:00

All work and no play makes Arien a very dull girl. I really needed a proper holiday, and any short holiday will do. As a very student-y college student on a budget, I decided to go to Singapore, the closest, easiest, and most affordable place to be called my holiday nirvana. I had five of my best girls coming with me to the shopping mecca; Cantika, Claudia, Natasya, Tika and Winandya. It was a really short trip. I've been to Singapore several times with my family, and three or four days was boring enough, but with these girls, I think I could handle a two weeks trip in the land of mixed cultures. It was probably one of the best trips I've ever taken, and really, I think it was marvelous. The trips to Singapore with my mum was always all about the shopping; she's been there several times for work and she'd seen a lot of places so she never took me but with these girls, everything was just so new and memorable. The four days trip got me some of my own highlights of the day, and I'm gonna tell you a bit of the highlights.

We welcome ourselves to Singapore by observing the night life

Day 1: Clarke Quay

What's the best cure for traveling with a delayed flight? Traveling with your best friends! Since I'm not really a night person, I don't know if Clarke Quay is the centre of Singapore night life or something of that sort, anyway we don't really sit there and hang out; we took pictures instead, and since we just landed that very night, the pictures might be lousy, and you can't see a lot of people there but I'm telling you, walking through that particular bridge gave me the creeps as if I just came into the wrong party where only white, crazy and drinking people were invited. I looked like I was going to school that night. Sigh.

So much for a hillbilly pose after a long, money-draining shopping spree

Day 2: Wicked The Musical

Cantika, Winandya and I decided to take a stroll and spend some shopping spree at the malls in Orchard, while the three other girls were hitting the Universal Studios Singapore. I tried to find a proper dress to catch Wicked at the Marina Bay Sands Grand Theatre later that night, but I failed. I went crazy at the stores that haven't opened in Indonesia, and the rest is, well, history. I felt like my wallet had some kind of demon that eats plastic because my money was drained in no time! That's what happens when you're a girl who gets so easily distracted with new things. You'd forget what you came up there for, was it for the holiday or the shopping?

Ozians

Anyway, after a long, tiring and money-draining shopping, we got back to the hotel to clean up and try to look as pretty as girls in budget holiday could be. At the end of the day, no one wants to look like a fucking beggar watching a musical in Marina Bay Sands, right? We took the train to Marina Bay, and with all the power of our smart-ass-ness we got to the theater on foot. That's something you can't do in Jakarta, though; you can't survive a ten minutes walk in a dress, without getting some really annoying shout out from the street workers. Well, not knowing is a gift. None of us had ever been to the Marina Bay, and we just kind of use our smart-ass-ness to find the Grand Theatre by walking through the gigantic, posh shopping mall and casino completed with sophisticated bars everywhere, and there we were! The three of us was astounded by the place we came to, like it was just simply impossible that we were ever there! What are we, a bunch of teenagers on a budgeted short holiday, doing at The Grand Theatre?! I have never seen a musical before; never been to Marina Bay Sands; and never, ever, seen such a beautiful place that costs me quiet some fortune for sitting at the top tier and the very last row. Anyway, it was worth it though. We couldn't see the facial expressions of the actors, but we'd see pretty much everything that was necessary. I didn't know a lot about Wicked, and after the two and a half hours show, I was obsessed with it. Elphaba and Fiyero would be my new romantic icons. I can't get over the fact that I wanna re-watch The Wizards of Oz now, since it's been some time. At the beginning of this blog, I wrote about how that movie was played on repeat so many times in my childhood, and I loved the young Judy Garland with the red, sparkling shoes. After the show, we decided that we didn't have the energy to walk ten minutes to the train station back to our inn, so we'd take the taxi and without knowing where exactly to find a cab, we power-walked to the taxi stands and the queue was... rad. The taxi, as we'd all know it, was pretty pricey, but who cares? We'd just seen Wicked! Live! And it was not even the original cast!! I promised myself that someday, when I'm awfully rich, I would sit front row to see one of these shows live. I just had to promise myself that. Please remind me that again 20-30 years from now?

Day 3: All The New Places

We didn't look as though we just hit the USS or Wicked last night, eh?

"You're gonna need a bigger boat!" -Jaws

From my previous Eurotrip I have learned something: I love cruising on a boat. And that's just exactly what we did, and I really liked it. That's a very touristy thing to do, and even though it was Singapore, not necessarily Seine or Thames, it was really cool. All the six of us went to see the Merlion right across the Marina Bay Sands, where we took off the train from Clarke Quay and walk along the Riverwalk all the way through the Merlion Park. There are closer stations, but I'm actually glad we didn't take them because the Riverwalk was such a pretty sight, and besides, it feels a little like walking along the Rive Gauche, or at least that's the closest that I can feel as though I was in River Gauche. The Merlion Park, like every other landmarks in the world, was full of tourists with cameras and cute poses, and I have to say that it was fun, because finally, a place where acting like tourist is not so lame because so was every other people in that place is. From there, we walked through all the skyscrapers to take another train to Chinatown, where we're supposed to have lunch. None of us was familiar with the place, so we tried to find something to eat at the most obvious place the station can lead us to: The Hong Lim Food Centre. The site was under so much construction that we had to ask a stranger, a somewhat very nice Chinese man, that showed us the way to food centre. He was going the same way, though. But still it was nice to know that people in Asian countries are still really nice and friendly. As it turns out, The Hong Lim Food Centre was paradise... for people who eats pork. For those who don't, like the majority of me and my friends, it was a bit of a dull place. There was only one kiosk by a Malaysian couple that cooks halal food, and judging from the queue, I think there's a lot of people who didn't know how rare halal food in Hong Lim Food Centre is. Anyway, after Chinatown, we moved along to Farrer Park, where we paid a visit of one of the craziest store I know, Mustafa Centre. From the site that's full of Chinese people selling traditional medicines made of bats and special herbs, there we arrived at the place so over-populated with Indian and Pakistani men and women with their peculiar culture and food and colors... and odors. Unlike mothers, we didn't buy too much from the Mustafa Centre, but then we got back to put our shopping bags down at the inn and rest our tired feet and later that night, we went separate ways again.

The only thing missing, is someone staring at the same painting for me to fall in love with

The Wicked girls went to see the Singapore's Arts Museum, while the other three was catching up with the two other museums in the other side of town (or country...) The art museum was my very first experience too. I only came there because of the free admission every Friday nights, actually... Well, the fact that we love to see some arts helps, too. The minute I saw the building, I was amazed. But as soon as I stepped foot inside, I was, again, astounded by it. There was a collector's exhibition of some sort, and the guests looked extremely rich and cool, like the kind of people you see in a high society magazine. The art was so cool... Some are haunting, some are jaw-dropping, others are like eye candies... But my favorite would have to go to the one called Chapel by an artist named Li Hui (just in case you wanna Google him). His art was one dark room with red lasers from one side of the ceiling reflected by a mirror at the centre of the room to the other side of the ceiling, completed with crosses hanging around the walls. The second we stepped in, we felt like in a Cathedral. This is the place where I think we met the artist. No, seriously. And I really liked his art, had I known any better if it was really him, I'd probably shake his hands and take a picture with him or something. He saw Winandya took a photo under the red laser, and then he gestured for us to move under the red rays in some certain position, and he directed how we're supposed to pose, but then he walked away somewhere. I have to say, his direction gave us a better quality picture, and if he was really the artist, it's no wonder. Of course he'd know the best way how to enjoy his art, eh?

The ray of red lights in the "Chapel" by Li Hui

From there, all the six of us gathered together at Chijmes. It's another eatery for the rich and the richer, I guess, because I couldn't afford the menu, but the place looks really quirky, though. And from there, we decided to have some ethnic dinner back at Farrer Park, and treat ourselves some really spicy Biryani rice with chicken and lamb. Because where else would you eat so many rice with so many spices, all served up in a tray?!

I don't care if we look like K-Pop fans. He looks and smells hot

Day 4: Abercrombie & Fitch & I'm such a spendthrift

Our last day in Singapore, the room where we've been staying was a hot mess from excessive shopping and disarranged stuffs. After a very tiring packing, where I just realized that I have lost my incredible packing skills (sigh) together we went on a very last minute stroll around Orchard Road to use up the money we had left... or at least that was me. The first place we went to was, of course, the hottest new store in Southeast Asia: Abercrombie & Fitch! The store smells like a really sexy guy just sprayed his entire body with a really sexy cologne after a long day at the gym. No, seriously. The guy standing at the front door says it all. And the shirtless male model whose job was to take pictures with the ladies (like us) and kiasu passerby wanting to have their picture taken with some hot, unknown guy? He says everything we can tell from the store. Just like the one in London, everything in there was not fashionable and overpriced. It's like, only the Jersey Shore cast would actually spend their money in that kind of store. Really, their male t-shirts are only for the guys with muscles and to be honest with you, I don't know if it's the Alessandro from summer 2008 effect, but Abercrombie always smells and looks so... Italian. Alessandro could totally make a good addition to the Jersey Shore ensemble. Or Andrea. Anyway, nobody bought anything there. We're not the Asian version of Snooki and we don't like the Mike Sorrentino kinda guy. So we moved along to buy some cute shoes for low prices, and after that, The three Wicked Girls, also known as the biggest spendthrift in the entire holiday, were off to do what they did best: shopping. Uniqlo kills, I'm telling you. Or actually, the demon inside my wallet was named Uniqlo. Or H&M. Or Sephora. Anyways. Thank God for Singapore's new regulations about the 7% tax refund for foreigners, which was simple and easy, unlike the tax refund policy in European countries. I can't tell you... just like I can't bear the feeling to remember how much we spent for shopping, or how unhealthy strolling around the Orchard road can be, but honestly, even if without the intense retail therapy, this would still be the best holiday I had with the friends I love. And it's really something I've never done before.

P.S. I only put here my favorite (and available) pictures. Anyone not pictured or not looked so good in them is merely about natural coincidences.

This time listen to Nathan

2012-01-02T18:49:00.003+07:00

Happy new year, fellas! I know this is the time for your hopes to get higher than weeds and for your dreams to be made true like Disney tried to brainwash you. But what if your hopes and dreams have been long gone, and what's left now is merely scattered leftovers of those that mattered? I know, and I've been there (I'm there...) So this is what you need to keep hold on to this year:

"The people I admire are the people that carve a life for themselves after their dream dies."

Nathan Scott, One Tree Hill

Survive a new year, my love. Adieu for now.

I kinda hate myself, too

2011-12-31T14:04:00.004+07:00

2011 was a rough year for me. Sure, I had a lot of fun, and at least I didn't have to lay in bed for one month due to typhus, but there was just so much drama and dilemma and problem and stuffs that I just can't mention it. Stuffs that unfortunately now I know what it feels like. I can remember every single bitter truths that happen, and I just do, even though I wish I don't. This year made me too busy to even think of a resolution for 2012. There was a lot of sweat and energy used to make this one of my most productive years so far, but I grew tired from it. The only thing that makes me happy about this new year is that, lots of people come and go, but I still have a bunch of people who stay and they're the ones who made me get out of these things alive. I'm really thankful that I didn't have to do it all alone. I'm also thankful that I feel like I have made a huge deal with my insecurities because they're probably still around here somewhere, but I'm getting better at handling it day by day, just like I feel like my dramas made me grow up a little bit more each day. I learned a lot about myself as I'm turning 18, and most of the facts make me sad, but at least I know there are some people who still love me despite my characteristics that make myself sad. I guess what I have to learn for next year is that I cannot be the one who look down on myself; it's one thing to be modest and down-to-earth, but it's another thing to always feel small among others and make myself hate myself. I spent a lot of my times in 2011 thinking about the one that got away, about what could have been if, and I look outside the window almost all the time, wondering what I would've done if I weren't here... wondering if I could do it in another life.

Anyway, let the past be the past. This year's problems didn't kill you? Well, you know you're fine.

Happy new year, fellas. I know you're gonna enjoy it.

You know I love you, I always will

2011-12-26T09:18:00.006+07:00

Hello, Christmas holiday.

Emma Thompson being cheated on by Alan Rickman, and then there's Colin Firth proposing to his Portuguese housemaid in Portuguese and in Portugal. Oh look, Hugh Grant is playing Prime Minister dancing in his undies around The 10 Downing Street house and ringing the bell of each of the houses in Wandsworth to search for a chubby assistant he just fired; oh sod off, he's a prime minister! There's Laura Linney, choosing her disadvantaged brother over Rodrigo Santoro, and there's young Thomas Sangster, the prematurely mature boy living with his stepdad who was Liam Neeson and falling in love with an American girl. And then there's Keira Knightley, being the love of the hopeless romantic Andrew Lincoln who loves her indefinitely but she's married to his best friend... Just so you know Lincoln, you can be in The Walking Dead for as long as you wished, but to me, forever you are that fake Christmas carolers on Keira's door telling her that you love her more than Kate Moss.

That means it was time for Love Actually. Merry Christmas and happy holidays, people. Have a wonderful joy.

So fucking jobless

2011-11-27T14:56:00.005+07:00

1. I'm not gonna talk about this number. You wouldn't wanna hear a story of someone who can't even remember the last time her parents kissed her, right?

2. One year ago, I was a happier kid than I am today. I have a memory gap of what I was doing one year ago, sorry.

3. Single, and living it wondering if I was ready for a real one.

4. In five years, I will be living alone with a Master degree and with a job so busy I wouldn't have time thinking that I ever had this blog, until forty years later, my grandchildren would find it on Google and read how crazy their grandmother was once upon time.

5. My current goals is to accomplish all the work that I signed up for, to have the power and the strength to do it all without breaking my bones.

6. I'm not proud of the dramas in my life. I keep telling drama queens to STFU while I have a whole bunch of dramas I need to keep for myself.

7. Probably when I saw Coldplay live for the first time. Or when I was introduced to mathlete. Or the day when I last saw him and his smile. Or the day I first landed in Paris. I don't know, let me think about it.

8. Definitely the day when my grandmother and my uncle passed away in less than 24 hours gap. It was devastating. Crying wouldn't even be a solution.

9. I have some close friends. There are a few. But honestly I don't know if they'd think of me as their close friend, but I hope they think as same way I do.

10. Right now, I wanna change the way I think towards everything in life. I do think that I need to be less dramatic and more realistic. The world's a stage, but a good act is one that makes people think it wasn't an act.

11. I think what I'm doing with my life right now is a bit like shaping, building something abstract that I don't know the name of, but at the same time it feels like I'm breaking every piece of little bones in me.

12. Typhus. It sucked big time. It changed almost everything. Heck, maybe everything, really.

13. I'm proud of my friends, my mom, my dad... Most of the time I'm proud of my ability to be alone and not finding it painful to be.

14. I don't know, really. I don't think I have any. But if there's something, it's probably a bracelet I got from my high school best friend when I turned 16. Somehow it just meant a lot to me.

15. My Macbook. Okay, fair enough I didn't buy it, it was my mom. Some pairs of shoes, maybe.

16. He's 20..... Almost.

17. There was this teddy bear that was so old and crummy but I loved so much. Of course, like every other things, it's gone now.

18. I was good in English. And German. And not much else.

19. Maybe a white t-shirt that's so summer-y and I bought it myself a long time ago.

20. Okay, that's it. I was just bored. Sorry for boring you. Kisses and hugs

In another life

2011-11-26T08:13:00.005+07:00

In another life, I wouldn't be as depressed as I am today. In another life, everything would be easier. In another life, the sun would shine in deemed light and it wouldn't hurt my eyes nor burn my skin. In another life, I wouldn't have to let go of anything.

She dreamed of paradise

2011-11-17T21:58:00.007+07:00

...and I'm going to graduate real soon, buy one way ticket to Rome and work simple jobs there, and I'm going to speak Italian with different dialects they have, and I'm going to learn to make my own pizza and I'm going to eat a lot of gelato and I'm going to soak up the sun at the outdoor cafes near Trevi and I'm going to live in a dusty, yellow-bricked old buildings and I'm going to attend some very loud Italian weddings and I'm going to learn how not to use my diploma and flush them down the toilet and I'm gonna learn how to ride the Vespa and ride it everywhere I go in the city and I'm gonna learn how to make Venetian masks and I'm gonna wear it while at work and I'm gonna fall in love with someone nice and I'm gonna fall madly in love with him but I'm gonna find a way to let go and I'm gonna read Cesare Pavese and I'm gonna read them to a stranger at the cafe and I'm gonna speak with a funny gesture and I'm going to smile a lot and I'm going to collect money until I'm rich enough to buy one way ticket home. I'm going to miss my family and I'm going to hug them real tight as there were no people like them that could kiss my longing away and I'm going to love them more than I ever do and I'm going to make them a delicious pizza and I'm going to write a book about my journey and I'm gonna read it to everyone I know and I'm gonna be reminded as the woman with the dream of paradise.

Science in progress

2011-11-13T21:22:00.003+07:00

This is my idea of romantic. This is what I'd like for my story to be...

We spent a long weekend together, meeting through a group of mutual friends. We had an immediate, simple chemistry that trumped how little we had in common. I remember thinking the lack of conversation could have been uncomfortable if it hadn’t been so crystalline, so unbelievably clear to me that this was the most pleasant kind of temporary: a stopgap on the way to other people, places, things. We spent the entire weekend together. He was reading this pint size book for one of his classes. As he read, he underlined a passage and said it had reminded him of me. He read it out loud, shifting his eyes up to find mine and parse my response. I took the book and devoured the petite read that same afternoon. The alternate theories of time and the dreamlike quality to each vignette was romantic. I almost confused my love for the book with feelings for this relative stranger. Almost. The weekend ended and he gave me the book to keep. It remains on my bookshelf 10 years later, underlined in his hand and mine, read and reread.

source

I hate the facts that these words speaks so true of my everyday life

2011-11-10T22:21:00.001+07:00

But you just don't see me

2011-11-10T21:21:00.005+07:00

It's a truth that people have been secretly hiding, that the true happy people do not look outside the window every now and then, wishing they were somewhere else; wondering what could have been if they weren't to make decisions themselves. It's a truth universally known that decisions are made when we are tired of thinking---and the unhappy people are those with the most tired minds. I look outside my window at every different time of day; at six in the morning when it was grey and depressing, at one in the afternoon when the sun shines too strong for every eyes to see, at four or five during tea time when the ray of light gets weaker; just as much as all the tired people, and at nine in the evening when everybody's home with their loved ones; everybody has come to the place they want to rest their broken bones in. I hate my apartment. The altitude makes me see a lot of things that I cannot have; home, family to come home to, warm home-cooked meal, socialization, city lights. God, I even miss the traffic jam. I like being alone, but maybe, just maybe, not too much. It gets me to think that this is the most expensive price I ever had to pay; for being so stupidly choosing what I had chosen over other options that I had. I didn't have to smile if I don't want to. I didn't have to live alone sixty meters above the ground. I didn't have to do what I'm supposed to be doing right now; I didn't have to sign up for them. I didn't have to choose law school. Everybody knows smiles have to be genuinely from the heart. Everybody knows family home is the best place on earth while you still can't spare your own. Everybody knows no one is gonna care if I didn't sign up for anything. I should know that law school isn't for me; I'm not that dirty, not that tough, not that good in this. Everybody knows if you go to law school in Indonesia, it's not the same as you go to one in the States; only fools think it is. I should know that I wasn't build up to be a lawyer; I didn't think I have to win everything. Heck, I didn't even have to go to college. I could just make my way to wound up in the streets of Rome and be homeless but at least I'm happy. I could just quit school and sign myself up to be a roadie and be unmistakably poor but at least I'd love that. Why did anybody let me choose things for myself? Or maybe, I could just help myself not to read too much Sylvia Plath and teach myself to be depressed. That would've been easier.

"I love you too much, it's not real."

2011-11-07T20:47:00.006+07:00

Winter morning, I looked outside the window and there were snow everywhere; snow in the streets, snow in the gardens of rich people who could afford it, snow on cars, snow inside someone's shoes, snow on top of the old man's hat, snow sticking on the old lady's faux fur coat. Walking out of the house will be banned tomorrow, so as soon as I stopped observing the view, I started reading The English Patient and helped myself to drink the finest coffee in the world: basically anything brewed in my grandfather's old coffee maker. It gets so silent it's deafening so I turned on the TV but everything in the world sucks; politics sucks, music sucks, the cartoons suck. So I put on my slippers to avoid the cold wooden floor and come down to the kitchen. Nothing was left in the fridge. I saw cheese but they had fungus. I saw an apple but it's rotten. Hopeless, I went back to my room and try to read a gossip magazine. The gossips got old and boring; the girl getting married on the cover has asked for annulment, she is now single and mingle....with a baby bump. I turned on the radio but the DJ talked so much bullshit it bleeds my brain.I tried the internet, but like the weather outside, it freezes. I called my friends, they're all away on an exotic holiday to places with the best beaches according to Lonely Planet. I tried to read the newspaper, it brings me so much world that it disappoints me all the time; that the world is the way it is today. I came back to bed, roll out my blanket and again closed my eyes; at least in my dream, everything was easier.

Guys.

2011-11-05T20:43:00.002+07:00

One busy evening in the dining room.

Dad: God. I forgot which one is my cup of tea.

Me: (standing in the door between my mom's room and the dining) Mom, which one is Dad's cup?

Mom: (not moving, eyes on the video game) The one with teaspoon on it.

Me: The one with the teaspoon on it.

Dad: OK.

Me: (closes the door) Now I know why men need to get married.

Meet me in Euston because I miss you now?

2011-11-04T23:27:00.000+07:00

Normalcy isn't her word

2011-11-04T22:33:00.010+07:00

What am I supposed to say about Tilda? She is the woman that every girl secretly wants to be: she's a great commercial actress with series of avant-garde movies, dressed by avant-garde designers all the while blessed with the kind of other-worldly beauty so rare that makes her look like an alien. You can tell that you know her from as the icy queen from Narnia, or you might as well be fooled to believe her as a blonde European woman from Russia who speaks and dressed a la Italian in Io Sono L'amore, but who she really is, is a woman with a degree from Cambridge who leads a pretty distinct life you wouldn't understand it at first. She might look so pale it's like seeing a dead body, and maybe she is so weird it's hard to guess why she does what she's doing, but that's what happens to artists; whatever they do, they do it for the sake of art. If Florence Welch is the love child between music and fashion, then if fashion has a mistress called movie, their love child would be named Tilda Swinton. I just love the way she dressed, the way she speaks and carries herself to the public, and most of all the projects she chose... It's hard to label her whether commercial or avant-garde. It's so hard to describe Tilda Swinton.

The myths are true

2011-10-31T14:21:00.000+07:00

When I was younger, I was told that the world is a scary place. I was told that prince charming doesn’t live here, and I was told that the bad people have the nicest face. I was told that the best people live in the underground, and I was told that nothing comes for free. There is always a price to pay, and I was told that life is hard; if it’s not, it’s not the truth. But then, I was told that I gotta be harder than how hard the real world is. I was told that if the world is a dirty place, then play dirty--but always use the antiseptic. I was told that if someone act like a bitch, I gotta let them know that they are actually facing their queen. I was told that I gotta be stronger than a lioness. I was told that the world is an enormous stage and it’s a masquerade party we’re living in. And my only regret was, I’m sorry the myths are true.

the boy with the freckles oh so perfect

2011-10-19T20:22:00.002+07:00

Meet Eddie Redmayne from London. Burberry model slash avant-garde turn commercial actor slash Old Etonian.

Who's the boy you like the most?

2011-10-16T12:41:00.009+07:00

Lost in Translation

I wanna go back to the time when everything was meant to be perfect. When having crushes couldn't hurt so much—and fun, in fact. When having cliques was quiet understandable (because let's face it, not everyone can have the same vision, the same personality, the same sense of humor... the same thought). When frenemies aren't so fond of making schemes among each other. When the only thing girls learn from Blair Waldorf was the ladylike style, not so much with personality. When going to parties every weekend is the best reason to dress up and looking pretty. When I get to enjoy chic evenings with dessert in a cool place while reading my favorite magazine with the people I really like without feeling like such a cliché. When loving something that's not commercial was not called 'hipster'. When people haven't changed my perspective towards luxury and the stuffs I genuinely love. When shopping was so interesting, more than stalking your crush's Facebook account. When GPA were merely three strange letters no one cares about. When no one gives a fuck about career. About future. Or when I don't feel so tired at weekends. When my eyes don't look so bleary all the time because I miss my old life.

I can't remember the last time I feel that way.

Pardon My French

2011-10-16T12:16:00.004+07:00

Such a teenager that I am, I'm sorry for being rather rude and offensive lately. I'm sorry for making you hear my French, I didn't mean to make your life seem like a sexless, potless and therefore lame, episode of Skins. I'm so sorry. You were right. Hate in my heart is gonna consume me too. And the cure to hate is probably... growing up, and realizing that not everything will work out the way I want it to be, that such a happy, smooth life was just a theory, because I read too many fairy tales and watch too many romantic comedies. Short story, I've been such a fool for believing in genuine lies. So thank you for sticking up with me. I love you, perhaps bigger than how much you love me.

Sometimes you can't make it on your own

2011-09-09T21:40:00.004+07:00

In reference to the infamous David Nicholls' book-to-movie One Day, I'm just going to say that somehow I strongly believe that I will understand what it feels like to be Emma Morley. I might don't have my own Dexter Mayhew now, and I probably still won't find him until my 23rd year of age, but I just somehow think that it's really possible to feel what she feels. I mean, I think one day we're all going to realize that there will be someone with whom we will never lose feelings for despite all the differences and after all the thick and thin. It is possible that maybe the common thing we had is just that we're mad about each other and nothing else. I think some of us will have to wake up one day knowing that we've committed to the wrong person, and maybe we'd known about it all along but there's just nothing that we can do. I mean, life is that bitter sometimes.

Everybody’s growing up, having kids and paying rent

2011-09-04T21:27:00.007+07:00

Who doesn't want a bit of a summer wedding? Well, here goes my top 5...

1. Prince William - Kate Middleton

I know it's not exactly a summer wedding, but, bitch please. They're royals. Of course they chose April 29th on purpose. They wanted to be the pioneer of all the summer-y weddings!

2. Jamie Hince - Kate Moss

Another Kate, another beautiful wedding story to tell. From the rehearsal dinner to the big nuptial, it's perfect. That's the Kate Moss we love.

3. Kris Humphries - Kim Kardashian

Busty Armenian babes overload! Not so beautiful but this one has to make the list as I'm a new fan of Keeping Up With The Kardashians. No, seriously. It's fun and an even better guilty pleasure than McDonalds. Yep, there goes the amazing philistine in me.

4. Thomas Mars - Sofia Coppola

Hands down. Nobody can be more effortlessly flawless than these two. I mean, really.

5. Mark Ronson - Josephine de la Baume

OKAY SO THIS IS THE REASON WHY WE HAVE FIVE AND WHY WE HAVE THIS POST. THIS ONE IS SO GODDAMN HEARTBREAKING AND SO FUCKING UNEXPECTED. I KNOW THEY'RE ENGAGED AND ONCE HE WAS ENGAGED TO RASHIDA JONES TOO BUT COME ON. I THOUGHT HE'S THE GEORGE CLOONEY OF THE COOLS. I THOUGHT HE'S THE KIND OF GUY WHO WOULD SAY "NOT FOR ME" WHEN THEY ASK HIM ABOUT MARRIAGE. OKAY, ENOUGH. IT MUST BE A BEAUTIFUL PROVENCE WEDDING WITH THE BRIDE WEARING SOME ZAC POSEN GOWN THAT DOESN'T LOOK EXACTLY ELEGANT (WELL, ELEGANT ISN'T EXACTLY WHAT WE EXPECT FROM THESE TWO ANYWAY) AND THOUGH, AS THEY SAY, THE GROOM ALMOST OUTSHONE THE BRIDE (WELL DONE, MARK) AU REVOIR THE COOLEST JEW EVER. WELL, GOOD TO KNOW MARK'S NOT SOME JERK, ANYWAY. MAZEL TOV, RONSON!

2011-09-02T19:12:00.004+07:00

I think second chance is overrated. They say everybody deserves a second chance... but really, someone who said that, is definitely someone who did wrong and therefore they want people to give them a second chance, like a former crime, maybe. From my personal experiences, I don't know, perhaps I always put myself as the good cop and someone else as the bad cop, but seriously, it's actually giving the second chance that's really hard. I know scars heal, but it takes time, and what if it doesn't heal? What if my heart experiences something like diabetes and therefore the scars can't heal? What if the hurt was so, so, so bad that it broke people's heart beyond repair? Yes, everybody deserves a second chance, everybody deserves to start over from clean sheets and start build everything from scratch, but doesn't someone else deserve not to give that so called second chance? Second chances are just people's excuse to blow the first one, and it's not healthy for the other person who's left hurt because what are the chances that they won't stumble upon another mistake? People make mistake everyday, fellas. Deal with it.

The Princess of Cool Married Wolfgang Amadeus Mars

2011-08-28T20:31:00.005+07:00

Congratulations Sofia Coppola and Thomas Mars. Now go back to work and make some more beautiful movie and music. Go Somewhere and be Lisztomanic. Thank you for making coolness defined.

This time last year

2011-08-28T00:18:00.005+07:00

I can't believe it's almost another Eid holiday! Happy Holiday you magnificent people out there!

Last year, I spent the Eid's eve in Galeries de La Fayette in Paris, and the Eid day at Eurodisney. This year I'm staying home, doing chores and trying my best to be a good daughter and granddaughter. Which one is better? Well, this year is better. Europe (in general) or Paris (in particular) was no good to spend the Eid holiday in. It will be great for Christmas or New Year's Ever or other holidays, but Eid should be celebrated right here, at home, in Indonesia. I have heard a lot of people's experiences that even in Saudi, Eid isn't celebrated the way we Indonesians celebrate it. They just don't make it the kind of wonderful festivities as we do, there's no such joy in their Eid celebrations. Last year, I had to practice my Eid shalat at my hotel a little on the outskirts of Paris near Charles de Gaulle airport. And it was boo-ring. There was no ketupat and the other foods that just get along with it, there was no other family and there was no new clothes though we did do some shopping. There was only croissant, croissant, et croissant, merci beaucoup. My Parisian hotel wasn't exactly how you'd imagine it would be, there was no proper French cuisine available and even though they did serve that kind of food, it would probably be so horrible even the French themselves can't stand it. In fact, my Parisian hotel was the worst in all the hotels I'd stayed the night in during that trip. (It's probably true that Parisians are... well, Parisian, and when it comes to hotel you have to give it to the Swedes because my Swedish hotel was extraordinaire) Back then, it was September and for some poor little Asian girl like me it was pretty cold that I had to hide my new clothes beneath my usual brown coat and shawl. It was not a cool Eid style, I have to say. But it was Paris through and through, so there was not much I can complain. Galeries de La Fayette, to me, is your usual upscale department stores with the latest Parisian fashion. In fact, I think it would be much more thrilling if in Paris we get to shop in Champs-Elysées instead of a typical mall that's full of Asian tourists queueing for tax refund. And Eurodisney, it was so small and them being French, I don't think that they have done something to improve or expand it so it was another boring day for me too.

This year, though, I'm looking forward to the excitement I'm really familiar with. Eid is a holiday; it should be joyful and exciting, though slightly boring. I will wish you a very happy Eid Mubarak, and for now, let's just be thankful that I'm home and I will celebrate it close from home.

La Nouvelle Jackie

2011-08-27T22:46:00.006+07:00

I'm sorry Michelle Obama. You're still the perfect woman to be America's First Lady, you're smart and you got style and you're so very beautiful it hurts my eyes every time I see a picture of you. But you don't make the kind of fashion spreads that Carla Bruni-Sarkozy did, and you certainly didn't make beautiful music and sing it in perfect français. I love you, but perhaps I'm a bit of a Nicolas Sarkozy inside, because I love Carla more. Vive le France.

Happiness Hit Her, Like A Train On a Track

2011-08-26T21:46:00.004+07:00

To me, Florence Welch is like that senior in school who always show up late in the mornings---until they can't call it morning anymore---but always look so impeccably stylish and cool in a very effortless way that trying to look great isn't the reason why she was late; she's that senior in school who wears all the tackiest vintage clothes you could imagine but still can pull it off; she's that girl who always wear her style with a little bit of drama; she's that girl who wears things that you would consider as a fashion crime that no one should ever buy it, and looks great in them. She's that girl whose every moves look as if she was having fun and enjoying the day, who smokes like drinks water and drinks water like, well, smokes. She's that girl teachers will tell you not to take examples at, but she will graduate a valedictorian. She's that girl.

Mr. & Mrs. Sawyer

2011-08-16T10:31:00.002+07:00

Promise me that when you pick the boy you’re really gonna be with that he’ll be someone who respects you, and treats you well. And it’s someone who makes your heart race. And that he’s someone that you love because of what he is and not what he does. Because that’s how I felt about your mother. And that’s how I want you to feel one day. Use your head, and follow your heart.— Larry Sawyer

Every girl needs to listen to Papa Sawyer :')

A Love Survivor

2011-08-16T10:24:00.002+07:00

They say life is short, we can't always meet the best people and love the right person at the right time and watch the best movies or listen to the nicest songs or read the best book. But I'm telling you in this short life time, The History of Love is brilliant. There are Leo Gursky and Zvi Litvinoff and Alma Singer, but Gursky is the one that makes the whole book. It's crazy melancholic and heart-warming story about love. Deeply memorable and touching. Something not to miss.

Once upon a time there was a boy who loved a girl, and her laughter
was a question he wanted to spend his whole life answering. When they
were ten he asked her to marry him. When they were eleven he kissed
her for the first time. When they were thirteen they got into a fight
and for three weeks they didn’t talk. When they were fifteen she
showed him the scar on her left breast. Their love was a secret they
told no one. He promised her he would never love another girl as long
as he lived. What if I die? she asked. Even then, he said.
For her sixteenth birthday he gave her an English dictionary and
together they learned the words. What’s this? he’d ask, tracing his
index finger around her ankle, and she’d look it up. And this? he’d
ask, kissing her elbow. Elbow! What kind of a word is that? and
then he’d lick it, making her giggle. What about this? he asked,
touching the soft skin behind her ear. I don’t know , she said,
turning off the flashlight and rolling over, with a sigh, onto her
back. When they were seventeen they made love for the first time, on
a bed of straw in a shed. Later- when things happened that they could
never have imagined- she wrote him a letter that said: When will you
learn that there isn’t a word for everything?

Excuse me, can you please adopt me?

2011-08-03T22:02:00.004+07:00

To live and be a few steps ahead of people is boring and suddenly the world seems so dull. It must be sucks to be Victoria Beckham.

I will not agree with anyone who says there's anyone luckier than Victoria Beckham. I will not. It's just not open for compromise. She has everything every girl could wish for: great style, great friends, great homes, great body, great shoes, great wardrobe, great jeans, great style, great tan (yes, I like hers more than Pippa Middleton's), money that won't be drained until my seventh generation, a face quirky enough to make people never forget (and to appear in magazine covers), her own exclusive clothing line with no tolerance for the term "affordable" (and apparently have the ability to afford just about anything she wants), a brief popstar career as a stepping stone, cute boys and finally a daughter to play Barbie with, and last but not least, the greatest accessory that nobody just can win over: David Beckham. The list could go on forever! Okay she might not be that great, but admit it. At one point in life, you'd want at least a piece of her: either it's her hair, her shoes, her jeans, her body, or her husband. You want an icon for this generation? I vote for Victoria!

P.S.Okay, any one of you who disagree with me, please at least vote for David because admit it, he is so the Man of Our Generation!

Perfection of your face slows me down

2011-07-31T19:47:00.003+07:00

Seriously, I could stare into those eyes forever. Had I been able to draw, I would draw his jaw and perfect cheekbones at this very moment. I could watch those lips smile and saying sweet nothings every minute of every day, not to mention those words will be spoken in a lovely British accent. And yeah damn right, he's straight. God only knows how many straight men are actually working in the fashion industry these days. David Gandy is perfection.

Cri du coeur

2011-07-23T22:47:00.009+07:00

Because of some friends started singing a Damien Rice song called The Rat Within the Grain and made the song stuck in my head like a cancer, I spontaneously typed his name on Google and found a long, but rather nice interview of him because honestly he's just one of those very arty-farty musicians who hardly ever speak for a proper interview. I was in junior high when I first heard of his song The Blower's Daughter, his repetitive and haunting, cold and bittersweet ballad, on the radio playing again and again. I didn't know what's the thing with the song, because it wasn't easy-listening, not catchy or anything but it just stuck in my head somehow. A couple of years later, I remember it crystal clear that I found his first record O in an HMV store in a suburban mall, on the back of Harrow on The Hill tube station in London, and I bought it along with a P.S. I Love You soundtrack because they cost only 8 pounds for two (O might be cheap because the record had been a few years old at the time, but the soundtrack? maybe because it was too cheesy for the Britons. I don't know, but it was also really good.) I didn't think that it would be one of my all-time favorite record, all I knew was, "This is the guy whose melancholic song magically stuck in my head all the way through junior high." And yet, as it turns out, it was the best 4 pounds I have ever spent in my life so far! (My favorite track of his, Accidental Babies and Desafinado, are not featured in the record, though) Little did I know that The Blower's Daughter was also featured as a soundtrack to Closer, one of the bitterest, coldest, rawest movie I've ever seen. The song and the movie matched perfectly, I can say, both are so raw and bitter and cold that watching it makes me shiver all the time and all throughout the movie. You can read the interview here and find what a sweet guy he really is. Here's a hint before you read:

The last ten years has seen the Kildare singer-songwriter selling truckloads of albums, repeatedly touring the globe, hearing his songs soundtrack hit movies, being romantically linked with an A-list Hollywood actress, and performed with the likes of Christy Moore and Leonard Cohen ("a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, gracious, eloquent man"). You'd think that Rice must be spoilt for choice of momentous moments. But he doesn't hesitate before answering: "meeting Lisa Hannigan".
The lowest point?
He smiles, wistfully: "Lisa Hannigan not wanting to talk to me anymore"

"I would give away all of the music success", he says, "all the songs, and the whole experience to still have Lisa in my life. Like that!", he tells me, snapping his fingers. "No question."

The Waltz Only A Queen Deserves

2011-07-22T20:34:00.006+07:00

Above: Jonathan Safran Foer's Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close; Below: Nicole Krauss' The History of Love

I would like to marry a writer someday. I don't care even though they write an article about never date a writer. I would like someone who's literate, someone who can just sit on the sofa with me side to side reading each of our own books while a slow, classic music was playing, like what George Falconer do with his boyfriend Jim in A Single Man. But most of all, I would like my name to be the only one written on the first page of his book, where he'd show off his dedication and love for me to the world by writing such short words. To me, it would be like carving your lover's name on a rock, or make it a tattoo on your body; it's a full dedication and it's really romantic without being creepy or freaky. I wanna be able to do exactly what Foer and Krauss do to each other. I don't care if wanting my name to be written there is selfish. I think it's really sweet, much to the fact that Foer is a romantic himself. If you are so curious, Foer wrote an essay in a book called A Convergence of Birds that became my inspiration for one of my old posts Teenage Dream. Below, you can read the origin of the art museum meeting idea.

Half Evaluation

2011-07-17T23:54:00.002+07:00

I'm currently reading The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath, which at first was rather difficult for me because Plath was originally a poet and I can say the book started off as being so poetic and dramatic it was not like reading a novel at all. At the moment I've come to half of the book, I just realized how much I can relate to Esther Greenwood and most of her thoughts and the world around her. It's scary sometimes because it's like Sylvia Plath could read into my mind long before I was even born and put those thoughts on Esther. I'm not as depressed as her, though yes, I found several things in life to be sort of depressing. But like her, I enjoy writing and I like the fact that she got a chance to work at a woman's magazine, and the fact that she has someone like Buddy Willard in her life (This is where I'm so not Esther. Buddy is a med student and a handsome, charming, Yale guy. I would forgive him for the fact that he's not as pure as I am) and painfully, also the part where she felt like she's been inadequate in a long time, only she never realized it before. It's terrible that I feel the same way she does, but reading this makes me think that I'm not alone, and Esther is around my age so I mustn't be the only one feeling inadequate in this world. I like the conversation between Esther and Buddy about her being neurotic, and about that Eric guy who thinks that if he really loves a girl, he would keep her from all that dirty business we call sex. I don't really read books written by woman before because they're mostly romance and I don't really like reading romance, despite my deep love for romcom movies, but this one definitely worth the exception.

“I could never settle down in either the country or the city… what’s so neurotic about that?”
Buddy didn’t answer.
“Well?” I rapped out.
“Nothing,” Buddy said in a pale, still voice.
“Neurotic, ha!” I let out a scornful laugh. “If neurotic is wanting two mutually exclusive things at one and the same time, then I’m neurotic as hell. I’ll be flying back and forth between one mutually exclusive thing and another for the rest of my days.”
Buddy put his hand on mine.
“Let me fly with you.”

A Piece of This Generation

2011-07-17T23:21:00.003+07:00

I went to Singapore this weekend for two reasons: shopping and Harry Potter. Okay well, I need to be honest in my own blog. Honestly there's only one reason, which is the reason #1 but the second one stands because I planned to go to the cinema once I'm there and I chose that one. I have to tell you this: I'm not a Harry Potter reader and not a fan either. But even then, I have to say that the movie was fantastic! It's probably not Oscar-worthy or something like that, but it's fantastic in a way that it's the last part of such a huge saga, and truth be told that the Harry Potter series is our generation's heritage (I need to say more, because I don't really wanna inherit the Twilight saga). I can see myself someday buying my kids the Harry Potter series if they love fantasy books (or books in general), or playing those 8 movies in marathon at home with my family, and even better, I can see Harry Potter as a classic literature, like maybe new and extended version of Tolkien's Lord of The Rings. I know I'm not a fan, so I'm not gonna say a lot about the movie compared to the books or something like that. But as a dummy in all things Harry Potter, I shed some tears at the end of the movie, because like the director said, "...so practically, when you come to the movies to see this movie, it's like saying goodbye to the people you've been so well for the past 10 years..." It is undeniable that we grew up with Harry Potter. I grew up with it too, even though I never really enjoyed it before. When the movie ended, I can think of some fanatics that would feel like, "Okay, my life is complete now. I could die happy." And after 10 years of watching people around me getting crazed over some witch kid in Lennon-esque glasses, I finally see the glory in it. One great thing about Harry Potter is that it teaches us about bravery. Just like good looks, you cannot teach courage; it is something you learn by doing, and we might don't have the kind of courage Potter had, but we'd seen him (and read, for that matter) so that someday we will be ready to fight some Voldemorts out there. Cheers to JK Rowling and her amazing characters. She is practically one of the most admirable writers of our time.

I needed to make a choice and I choose me

2011-07-09T11:31:00.003+07:00

I cannot tell you how low my lowest point is, but this time could be it. Psychologically, I'm a very internally motivated person. I've kept going on in life because I've been self-motivating myself and usually I never need anyone's support to make a choice or to get through things in life. I thought this was a good thing because that makes me independent and somehow a little stronger because I don't need anyone else. But this time I see the downside. It's so hard to get up again after someone or something has let me down, and the pain is heart-wrenching, and it hurts way too much that it's getting unbearable so the tears can't even start to roll down. Now I know I'm not as strong as I thought I am, or maybe I am, but someone is stronger than me (because there will always be someone better than me, just like there's still a sky above the sky, though I'm not sure about the sky part). I've been hated and hating before, but hate is a strong word I never actually mean to say when I said it. You should remind this: Hate is a strong word; don't use it just to make yourself feel so powerful. Power didn't come from you looking at people from below your nose; it comes from you feeling so small in front of them but you manage to overcome that fear and make them listen to what you have to say.

You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life. -Winston Churchill

So what I do, I take some time alone and alienating myself from the world. I'm so good at being anonymous.

Love Paralyzed Me

2011-06-25T23:11:00.003+07:00

I believe that no matter how far we are from each other, whether it’s another city, or country or even if I live in the other world, we’ll meet again, eventually

Ratih Amandhita

There must be a reason why we met and why those feelings grow. Maybe we can't see it today, not yesterday, not last week, last month, last year or many years ago, but maybe someday. And when that someday comes, I hope we wouldn't miss it. Until that day, we can only hold on to the memories and keep on believing. Those are the only things that we have now.

P.S. Well written, Rat. Source

Said my high school sociology teacher

2011-06-12T14:51:00.002+07:00

So much has happened in the last few weeks, but, maybe there's only one thing that I'm concerned about. It is something that my sociology teacher told me 4 years ago in a classroom, during one of those boring meetings because I was never into sociology and stuffs. He told us about one kind of love that we will never understand until someday we will be old enough to feel it. He said it's a love between children and their parent. He said we will never understand what it's like until we will be old enough to get married, to have sex, to reproduce and finally to raise a kid. He said when we have it, we will do anything--ANYTHING--for our children just so that they would be happy, and so they won't be hungry, and so that they would be able to pursue their dreams. Someday we would do the things we hate because we love our children just to make things happen for them. And then he told us a story that if there ever was a fire burning his house, he honestly would save his kids rather than his wife. That's just how much he loves his children--and how much parents in general love their children. Yesterday I saw my favorite TV series One Tree Hill where there's a college professor who lied and committed a crime that was actually his son's. When asked why he would lie about it that he quit his job and everything, he said "Because he's my son. That's what we do to our son." So that's enough reason to learn that parents can never been objective about their children unless they never really love them from the first place. Now I know why my mom and dad never look at her the way I see her. Because I don't understand. I don't understand the love they feel towards her, and I will never understand how much they love her until someday I will have my own daughter and raise her. Functional parents, no matter how many times you break their hearts and doesn't matter how bad you've crushed them, they will still love you the same, and still fight for whatever will make you happy. No matter how much you turned your back on them, they will always give you a second, or maybe third and fourth chance.If you can't be happy with what they can earn for you, it's really not their fault because they tried, so maybe you should try to be happy for them too. And just because they will give you another chance, and they will reshape their broken hearts, that doesn't mean you can blow the first chance and break hearts just that easily. Today we don't understand how sad it is to be hurt by our children; don't learn this the hard way.

Did you think that I was gonna give it up to you?

2011-05-31T08:25:00.002+07:00

Hey lovebirds! So, people listen up. I know it's almost summer (in fact it's starting tomorrow) and I know I used to love summers, but ever since college hits me in the head with a frying pan, I'm starting to think that maybe autumn is the best season of all. I know autumn is lame, and it's the season where people start to think about committing suicide in winter, but autumn is the start of the new academic year, where there's a new batch of juniors, and like I've just spent an excruciatingly long holiday and then I meet my friends again. Fyi, I still have classes during summer now (screw you Short Terms!!!!!) so I'm not sure whether the term "summer holiday" is still for me. Well, this isn't high school anymore, dear me, and welcome to the jungle where everything about you is being redefined.But based on personal experiences, summer leaves. Summer always leaves, and what happens in summer stays there. The things you love during the summer will bid you adieu "Until next time, sweetheart..." and you don't know when that next time is. But just believe, every summer worth your excitement. I wish you all tons of happiness during the summer. Go somewhere exotic, somewhere new or somewhere you've always loved (like Paris, maybe? ;) ) I'd probably still be here on my desk, updating this page and wishing you all forever a nice summer.

2011-05-29T19:07:00.002+07:00

May this boat take you somewhere, somewhere that's not here, where you can find yourself some peace. Sure, peace and freedom is lonely. But that somewhere is soon not a dream; it's a reality, and you're going to love it.

Strangled

2011-05-19T21:18:00.002+07:00

They always thought that everything is done for me; every single thing that has ever come into our lives. They always thought I was given everything, like everything happened in my favor. They always thought that they give me all the best; exactly what I need and what I want. Truth is, they're always wrong. It was always about them and their massive egos just because they're the ones in power to make it happen. It was always them and what they think. It was always about them and their favors. It was never about me. And they thought I have everything.

À la Before Sunrise

2011-05-17T19:01:00.007+07:00

This. This.

Read me something really beautiful, something Haruki Murakami or Orhan Pamuk, in a wet bench on a cloudy Amsterdam day.

Dam Square was not as noisy as it usually is, but there's still the tram.

The youngsters dressed up in hip clothes and goth make up. The American and Canadian tourists taking pictures everywhere and the Asians busy shopping every last cents of Euro they got.

Read me something really beautiful, something Pablo Neruda or Cesare Pavese, on the edge of a fountain where people threw coins for sweet empty wishes, before I get too old and tired and dissolve into a million molecules.

Fairy Tale Does Happen Sometimes

2011-05-04T15:53:00.003+07:00

The official wedding photo

"...what's amazing about them is that they love each other because know each other so well. They have been friends in college and for 8 years, and they have been living together in Wales where William serves as Royal Air Force pilot as normal couple. He knows what she looks like first thing in the morning, and she knows how to pick up his socks and his underwear... and today they're getting married in front of millions of people." -BBC

"Nine days ago, while the rest of the world fixated on every last detail of their impending nuptials, Will and Kate took a boat to his mother’s final resting place. The couple spent a quiet day at Lady Di’s remote burial site, and walking the grounds of the nearby arboretum where Will and Harry planted trees alongside their mother as boys. ‘It was very important for William to take Kate to visit his mum just before their wedding day,’ a royal insider told the Daily Mirror. ‘Diana is still a huge part of her boys’ everyday life and always will be.’ This was particularly true today, as William bit his lip nervously, standing at the altar with his bride, just as his mother did on her wedding day. It was a reminder to the millions of viewers who’ve watched the prince become a man, he’s still his mother’s son." -William and Kate Honor Diana's Memory

I have to say I was the one who's shallow enough to give so much shit about the royal wedding. I was so shallow that when Kate made her way down the aisle to the altar, I couldn't breathe. I was so shallow that I smiled wider than William and Kate did when they had the chance to steal a glance at each other. It wasn't even my wedding, and I was beyond ecstatic. I must be so shallow or just plain crazy. By the way, the official wedding photo is so beautiful I could cry. Can you see Disney characters Cinderella's Prince Phillip's balding version marrying Beauty and Beast's Belle?

2011-05-04T15:20:00.002+07:00

when someone died, they will be sorely missed. their funerals will be attended by people who really love them or simply respect someone who's related to them. but nobody is as sad as the woman who gave birth to her, who raised her, who spent 25 years besides her, who feed her, who educated her, who saw with all her remaining strength how scary their struggle to live was. this is to my cousin who died 5 days ago. this is to her mother who fought and struggled just as hard as she did;or maybe harder. this is to mothers out there who's so fragile about losing their beloved daughters. this is to the life she left.

The Ballad of Paul and Linda

2011-04-24T20:36:00.003+07:00

source

This is a total heartbreak for my family and I. Linda was, and still is, the love of my life. I am privileged to have been her lover for 30 years, and in all that time, except for one enforced absence, we never spent a single night apart. When people asked why, we would say — “What for?” Our family is so close that her passing has left a huge hole in our lives. We will never get over it, but I think we will come to accept it. In the end, she went quickly with very little discomfort, and surrounded by her loved ones. The kids and I were there when she crossed over. They each were able to tell her how much they loved her. Finally, I said to her: “You’re up on your beautiful Appaloosa stallion. It’s a fine spring day. We’re riding through the woods. The bluebells are all out, and the sky is clear blue.” I had barely got to the end of the sentence, when she closed her eyes, and gently slipped away. She was unique and the world is a better place for having known her. Her message of love will live on in our hearts forever. I love you, Linda.

- Paul McCartney’s statement after Linda McCartney’s death on April 17, 1998

I have been known to be forever a lover of John and Yoko, and I have declared that forever they are my hero. But a little look over at Paul and Linda would make anyone who's in the same path as me think twice. Linda was, just like Yoko, in a hard position because even though she was from a rich family living in NYC's Fifth Avenue, daddy a successful Harvard lawyer and art collector, in the spotlight because she was a widower with one daughter and she was American. The Brits don't get it. It was always like that back then, though. You're an idol, you're a lover--people dislike your beloved. When Linda married Paul, she married his fame and rockstar life too. It was only in the recent years people actually love her for who she really is. Read more Paul's writing about Linda here.

"...She loved riding so much. Sometimes she’d get up on her a horse and I’d say: “You don’t want to get down, do you?” She preferred it up there than on the ground."

Legally 18

2011-04-24T17:29:00.004+07:00

Thank you for your really kind and funny wishes! I never knew I was blessed with such lovable and funny and cool friends all surrounding me with warm love. Thank you for you really warm tweets(and retweets) and texts and Facebook walls. Thank you strangers who don't know me well enough but still bother to say happy birthday. Thank you my dearest family for your sweet presents. Special thanks to Winandya Almira for the HIGHlarious series of edited photos of Jon Kortajarena. Thank you everyone who cares. I can't thank you enough. I'm turning legal and I'm happy :)

Not everyone is gonna give up on love, and on you

2011-04-15T22:05:00.003+07:00

Thank you for reminding me through this typography. Maybe I'm not the one you meant to say it to, but even so, thank you. Thank you.

Thank you for reminding me that you're still the bravest person I know, and that you make me really proud of you. You always do the things I will never be able to do. But most of all, I like how you always fight for your love, no matter what it costs you. You never hide it, and you always come clean. And after all, you open your heart to fall in love like you can fall in love everyday. I find it so hard to fall in love these days, because I've been hurt and all. But you always love like you've never been hurt before, even though like you said, your love life always ends tragic. But you're so brave I could burst into tears just thinking of the courage you have inside of you. I will never be able to hear that the guy I like doesn't like me back. I will never be able to tell him that I like him, and that I just wanna tell him that without being hopeful. I don't know how many times exactly love has disappointed you, and guys have let you down, but you never give up on love. You never, ever give up. You always believe in it. Heroes are the believers. The believers who believe in the things other people don't, and they can do what you can't do. In a way, you're my hero. And I thank you for that.

I like love

2011-04-15T20:50:00.005+07:00

When you take care of me during my sick days, and you keep on saying that I will get better when I can't see it at all, and when you keep telling me that there's more to learn from what I can see today, and that it happened for a reason, "You'll be okay, I promise. I love you, and I'll love you more when you get better."

When I almost give up, and I think no good news is coming to me, and I know I'll be alright, and I was making myself sure that it's okay to fail, you tell me "You can do it. I know you can do it, and you'll nail it. You're more than you think you are. I love you."

When I get home being a terrible kid and I get mad at everybody and I show no mercy, it was because I'm angry. I'm angry because what I miss the most is the idea of home, the home I knew when I was 6 or 7, when everyone wasn't this old, wasn't this smart, wasn't this busy. I never miss what I actually see. And you always, always told me "What gets you so upset? Is it somebody at school? Is it something that bothers you night and day? What can I do for you?"

When you ask me that, I really just wanna give an answer to you, but I never have the heart to actually do it. "Love me less. Expect less from me."

You, it was always you

2011-03-24T16:39:00.005+07:00

on the train this morning

I looked outside the window, wishing it was a Eurostar ride toParis

wishing I was going to meet you at Rive Gauche

wishing when I take off the train, it was Gare du Nord

and you were waiting for me outside, and it was warm and sunny

with a look that you gave one last time when your friend called me by my stupid nickname
your smile is the only thing that I could remember the best
I wanna take a stroll in Paris with you along the Seine

I wanna drink in Montmartre and be the millionth lover Eiffel has ever witnessed

Shiny Toy Guns's Seasons of Love is playing in the background

I wanna walk the streets in Paris with you and do this beautiful thing

dépaysement

and if you ask me who was I thinking to do it all with me?

you

it was always you

I can't believe it's still the same person after all this time

I need to understand that can't waste my time always wishing I was somewhere else.

My Strength is Not For Hurting

2011-03-20T14:07:00.007+07:00

There are so many things going on in the world, and there's one thing to sum up what makes people never had enough war: human rights. But war is never the answer. War is always the wrong choice. Human rights is always the biggest reason, besides religion, to fight on a battle. "War is over, if you want it" according to John Lennon. It should be part of our concern that human rights is sometimes sacrificed for another human rights and more importantly in the global era, those who live in third world countries are the most unfortunate. Been living in one my whole life, I see how human rights isn't understood and introduced since early age. Why? Because it's not going to happen in this country, so why teaching kids about it? This is the biggest excuse for me to stay in law school. Be a human rights lawyer, fight for equality and stop the war. STOP THE FUCKING WAR! Because there's no gender, no religion, no color, no race, no sexual orientation, nothing, that makes us better than anyone else. The world is miserable enough already. Human rights for all. I love you!

In this dream I'm dancing right beside you

2011-03-17T20:24:00.001+07:00

I was shooting a scene in my new film, No Strings Attached, in which I say to Natalie Portman,
“If you miss me. you can’t text, you can’t email, you can’t post it on my Facebook wall. If you really miss me, you come and see me.”
I began to think of all of the billions of intimate exchanges sent daily via fingers and screens, bouncing between satellites and servers. With all this texting, emailing, and social networking, I started wondering, are we all becoming so in touch with one another that we are in danger of losing touch?
It used to be that boy met girl and they exchanged phone numbers. Anticipation built. They imagined the entire relationship before a call ever happened. The phone rang. Hearts pounded. “Hello?” Followed by a conversation that lasted two hours but felt like two minutes and would be examined with friends for two weeks. If all went well, a date was arranged. That was then.
Now we exchange numbers but text instead of calling because it mitigates the risks of early failure and eliminates those deafening moments of silence. Now anticipation builds. Bdoop. “It was NICE meeting u” Both sides overanalyze every word. We talk to a friend, an impromptu Cyrano: “He wrote nice in all caps. What does that mean? What do I write back?” Then we write a response and delete it 10 times before sending a message that will appear 2 care, but not 2 much. If all goes well, a date will be arranged.
Whether you like it or not, the digital age has produced a new format for modern romance, and natural selection may be favoring the quick-thumbed quip peddler over the confident, ice-breaking alpha male. Or maybe we are hiding behind the cloak of digital text and spell-check to present superior versions of ourselves while using these less intimate forms of communication to accelerate the courting process. So what’s it really good for?
There is some argument about who actually invented text messaging, but I think it’s safe to say it was a man. Multiple studies have shown that the average man uses about half as many words per day as women, thus text messaging. It eliminates hellos and goodbyes and cuts right to the chase. Now, if that’s not male behavior, I don’t know what is. It’s also great for passing notes. there is something fun about sharing secrets with your date while in the company of others. think of texting as a modern whisper in your lover’s car.
Sending sweet nothings on Twitter or Facebook is also fun. in some ways, it’s no different than sending flowers to the office: You are declaring your love for everyone to see. Who doesn’t like to be publicly adored. Just remember that what you post is out there and there’s some stuff you can’t un-see.
But the reality is that we communicate with every part of our being, and there are times when we must use it all. When someone needs us, he or she needs all of us. There’s no text that can replace a loving touch when someone we love is hurting.
We haven’t lost romance in the digital age, but we may be neglecting it. In doing so, antiquated art forms are taking on new importance. The power of a hand-written letter is greater than ever. It’s personal and deliberate means more than an email or text ever will. It has a unique scent. It requires deciphering. But, most important, it’s flawed There are errors in handwriting, punctuation, grammar, and spelling that show our vulnerability. And vulnerability is the essence of romance. It’s the art of being uncalculated, the willingness to look foolish, the courage to say, “This is me, and I’m interested in you enough to show you my flaws with the hope that you may embrace me for all that I am but, more importantly, all that I am not.”
- Ashton Kutcher

This may makes you think.

source

Heartbreak Warfare

2011-02-27T00:15:00.004+07:00

It's Sunday and it's been a tough week for both my academic, social and private lives, and Saturday night was when it's all come to the worst. Someone has always told me that hearts do break, though it doesn't mean they were made to be broken. And when you're dreaming with a broken heart... no, it doesn't happen to me. When I have a broken heart I don't wanna go to sleep, because I can't sleep, because heartbreaks are painful. Very, very painful, and this pain I feel make me sleepless. I wonder how I could feel so brokenhearted when I didn't even feel a thing towards somebody before. I mean, I don't know what happened. I might kind of like him years ago, and it's really YEARS, but it wasn't anything serious or big or anything. Now what happened? Why do I feel this pain? What kind of pain is this? I need someone to talk to, but this kind of matter isn't very important that people won't understand. I must be too sensitive or just stupid. The two pictures above shows exactly how I feel and what I wanna say right now.

I've come to the point where I understand this

2011-02-26T21:19:00.004+07:00

Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

Ferris Bueller's Day Off

You don't have to run or walk, you just have to dance

2011-02-19T18:15:00.002+07:00

I believe that there is such a thing as coincidence, that there is some good in bad people, that at the end of the tunnel, there's still light, and that not everything in life is as beautiful as a sunrise in Paris's Trocadero, so I choose to believe that we just need to have a little faith, because faith is what gets us moving.

Don't have nobody to call my own

2011-01-05T21:22:00.009+07:00

La Brodeuse ou Mette Gauguin by Paul Gauguin

"Gauguin was a stockbroker in Paris, married, had five kids. One day he came home from work and told his wife he was leaving, that he was through supporting the family, that he had had enough. Just like that he fucking took off. He said he had always felt that he was a painter, so he moved to a rat-infested shithole and started painting. His wife begged him to come back, his bosses told him he was insane, he didn't care, he was following his heart. He left Paris, moved to Rouen, went from Rouen to Arles, from Arles to Tahiti. He was searching for peace, contentment, trying to fill that fucking hole he felt inside, and he believed he could fill it. He died in Tahiti, blind and crazy from syphilis, but he did it. He filled his fucking hole, made beautiful work, made beautiful, beautiful work... It takes a brave man to walk away, to care so much that he doesn't care about anything else, to be willing to obey what he feels inside, to be willing to suffer the consequences of living for himself. Every time I stand before his work it makes me cry, and I cry because I'm proud of him, and happy for him, and because I admire him."
(James Frey, My Friend Leonard)

Last year, the thing I kept holding on to for the rest of the year was Queen Latifah's quote. This year, I want Paul Gauguin to be my muse, my inspiration, my hero. His life was exquisite. Even calling it 'exquisite' would be an understatement. He was brave, the kind of brave that makes everyone fears. I hope this year you could enjoy your life more and fight for what you think is right. I hope you could be more Gauguin-esque; be bold. Choose your path, I don't know, be religious or atheist or agnostic, or come out of the closet, or do the things you never do before, challenge yourself to do the things you never do, not for the sake of the challenge but because you can. I hope you stop choosing to be mediocre unless you tried your best and still can't help but being one. Have a nice, inspiring ride.

source

Survive A New Year!

2011-01-04T22:55:00.002+07:00

Well, sometimes cynicism works

I've fallen in love with you but you never exist

2010-12-27T20:11:00.003+07:00

Hi, who knows we're suddenly at the end of the year again?

A little evaluation, I posted fewer things this year, and I don't know what happened with me, why I didn't spend so much time posting here. I guess it's because I discovered the joy of Tumblr now and decided to categorize what I should publish via Tumblr or Blogspot or maybeTwitter. I've become what they call Tumbltard. But to be honest, some of my best writings are here, so... cheers for that :D

2010, you are my bitch!

I graduated high school this year, the high school I always thought wasn't the place where I belong, but again, maybe the best place I can be. I started going to law school, again, the college I always thought isn't the place where I belong and perhaps that's not going to change until the 3,5 half years to come. I'm so proud of myself because I have survived so many places where I don't belong that I started to think those places are actually the places where I belong but I just couldn't deal with it. I know it's probably too late to ask, but wish me luck here? ;)

At the end of the day, I started to look back, and I promised you last year that we're gonna have so much fun in 2010. Well, guess what? I made it! Or at least I did, and I hope you too. First of all, I travelled back to Europe in autumn, which was dazzling though not as wonderful as summer 2008. Second, I turned 17 and got my ID card, which means I'm legit enough for my own bank account and credit card, though not as far as getting my own visa (that needs no guardian) or getting into a club or whatever.

The not so flattering things come too, like losing best friends because they're moving on with their lives. I suppose I was the one to blame for that, but then again, maybe it's just the same old me: I suck at keeping old friends. I guess that's my only resolution for 2011. I wanna keep my old friends, stop being suck at it while also fighting my insecurities. People think that because I smile and I laugh and I don't seem to have drama in my life, then I'm so carefree and all that. No, baby. Each time I write something I usually hit the Backspace button just because I was insecure. I want you to know that it takes so much courage and bravery to be able to write this and publish it. And that's what I'm working on for next year.

Disappointments keep coming. I'm lucky enough that one of the biggest disappointment of my life happened this year and I had the chance to write it and a friend of mine, who should remain anonymous, told me how he liked the post. He doesn't compliment people a lot and I guess when you receive a compliment from someone who barely ever have a good idea about someone, you're allowed to feel happy. People say what makes a a good writing is when the writer really mean to say it. Well, he said he felt my disappointments and sadness through the writing. Other posts that people say is good are the ones that I write with all my heart, so, thank you guys!

I guess the best line to sum up all that I've learned this year is taken from a romantic movie Serendipity:

"It's not giving up, it's growing up"

I'm taking concrete steps on fighting my insecurities. From now on comments are allowed. I know not that many people would even bother leaving comments here, but again, it takes a courage to do this once again. You may leave comments in any post you like, even the old ones!

So, see you again next year! We're gonna have even more fun, even more joy to be grateful for!

Teenage Dream

2010-12-07T10:44:00.008+07:00

4 years from now, when I'm done with my masters degree from LSE, I'm gonna stay in London, spend my spare times watching plays or alone in galleries or museums all around the town or maybe simply working at a small vinyl store in Notting Hill. I'm gonna travel to Paris at holidays and visit art museums. And then there I met you, standing right next to me, staring at the same painting and talk about it over coffees in a small café or cheap champagne in the banks of Seine River. In 24 hours, we'd decided to fall in love.

But maybe you never exist.

Normally, I would post something like this on Tumblr. But since it's been down since yesterday (they say minutes but they mean hours, or probably days) I'm posting it here. It's actually inspired by another post by Ratih, here.

Dear my 16 year old self

2010-11-28T16:02:00.002+07:00

Soon you'll realize that, yes, promises are made to be broken. Those pessimists didn't lie. Be prepared to be greatly and utterly disappointed. Keep in mind that you're not the disappointment, and don't blame anybody; things happen for a reason. Just because you suck at math and clueless about calculus doesn't mean you're stupid and wouldn't go to college. You will, just not the college you thought you'll be in, and not the field you think you'd do. Nothing goes as you planned. But you'll learn so much as you move out of home. You'll learn that you can learn to love what you have, since many times, you cannot have what you love. Good luck with college entrance test. You're probably not smart, but you'll get lucky ;)

An Atheist Philosophy Professor Speaking About God With A Christian Student

2010-11-13T15:57:00.002+07:00

Professor : You are a Christian, aren't you, son?

Student : Yes, sir.

Professor : So, you believe in GOD?

Student : Absolutely, sir.

Professor : Is GOD good?

Student : Sure.

Professor : Is GOD ALL - POWERFUL?

Student : Yes.

Professor : My Brother died of cancer even though he prayed to GOD to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But GOD didn't. How is this GOD good then? Hmm?

(Student was silent)

Professor : You can't answer, can you? Let's start again, young fella. Is GOD Good?

Student : Yes.

Professor : Is Satan good?

Student : No.

Professor : Where does Satan come from?

Student : From...GOD...

Professor : That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this World?

Student : Yes.

Professor : Evil is everywhere, isn't it? And GOD did make everything. Correct?

Student : Yes.

Professor : So who created evil?

(Student did not answer)

Professor : Is there Sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the World, don't they?

Student : Yes, sir.

Professor : So, who created them?

(Student had no answer)

Professor : Science says you have 5 Senses you use to Identify and Observe The World around you. Tell me, son...have you ever seen GOD?

Student : No, sir.

Professor : Tell us if you have ever heard your GOD?

Student : No, sir.

Professor : Have you ever Felt your GOD, Tasted your GOD, Smelt your GOD? Have you ever had any Sensory Perception of GOD for that matter?

Student : No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.

Professor : Yet you still believe in HIM?

Student : Yes.

Professor : According to Empirical, Testable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says your GOD doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?

Student : Nothing. I only have my Faith.

Professor : Yes, Faith. And that is the problem Science has.

Student : Professor, is there such a thing as Heat?

Professor : Yes.

Student : And is there such a thing as Cold?

Professor : Yes.

Student : No, sir. There isn't...

(The Lecture Theater became very quiet with this turn of events)

Student : Sir, you can have Lots of Heat, even More Heat, Superheat, Mega Heat, White Heat, a Little Heat or No Heat. But we don't have anything called Cold. We can hit 458 Degrees below Zero

Which is No Heat, but we can't go any further after that.There is no such thing as Cold. Cold is only a Word we use to describe the Absence of Heat. We cannot Measure Cold. Heat is Energy. Cold is Not the Opposite of Heat, sir, just the Absence of it.

(There was pin-drop silence in the Lecture Theater)

Student : What about Darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as

Darkness?

Professor : Yes. What is Night if there isn't Darkness?

Student : You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is the Absence of Something. You can have Low Light, Normal Light, Bright Light, Flashing Light... But if you have No Light constantly, you have nothing and its Called Darkness, isn't it? In reality, Darkness isn't. If it is, You would be able to make Darkness Darker, wouldn't you?

Professor : So what is the point you are making, young man?

Student : Sir, my point is, your Philosophical Premise is flawed.

Professor : Flawed? Can you explain how?

Student : Sir, you are working on the Premise of Duality. You argue There is Life and then there is Death, a Good GOD and a Bad GOD. You are Viewing the Concept of GOD as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, Science can't even explain a Thought. It uses Electricity and Magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view Death as the Opposite of Life is to be ignorant of the fact that Death cannot exist as a Substantive Thing. Death is Not the Opposite of Life, just the Absence of it. Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your Students that they evolved from a Monkey?

Professor : If you are referring to the Natural Evolutionary Process, yes, of course, I do.

Student : Have you ever observed Evolution with your own eyes, sir?

(The Professor shook his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the

argument was going)

Student : Since no one has ever observed the Process of Evolution at work and Cannot even prove that this Process is an On-Going Endeavor, Are you not teaching your Opinion, sir? Are you not a Scientist but a Preacher?

(The Class was in uproar)

Student : Is there anyone in the Class who has ever seen the Professor's brain?

(The Class broke out into laughter)

Student : Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor's brain, felt it, touched or smelt it?... No one appears to have done so. So, according to the Established Rules of Empirical, Stable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says that you have No Brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?

(The Room was silent. The Professor stared at the student, his face unfathomable)

Professor : I guess you'll have to take them on Faith, son.

Student : That is it sir...Exactly! The Link between Man & GOD is FAITH. That is all that Keeps Things Alive and Moving.

That student was ALBERT EINSTEIN.

I wouldn't miss it for the world

2010-11-09T20:37:00.002+07:00

The best scene from "Before Sunrise". I love this movie so much I can't stop smiling. It's the kind of movie I wish the story could happen to me, it's so beautiful and so rare, so... bitter.

You're gonna love it

2010-11-09T15:07:00.003+07:00

Charles and Mary Lamb, the siblings who tried to rewrite Shakespeare's plays and narrate it for younger (and, like me, less educated) readers, wrote this book which is actually very helpful for young people who appreciate Shakespearean plays but find his works are too poetic and hard to understand for non native English readers. I read this book, to be honest *sobs* because I can't understand the original plays and because it's the shortened version of them all. They rewrote all the most famous plays, such as Hamlet, Macbeth, Othello, Twelfth Night, As You Like It, A Midsummer Night's Dream, The Tempest, and Romeo&Juliet (duh. Of course). Some plays are long but in the narration it's quiet short and though it loses a bit of the art of reading a Shakespeare tale, but it really does help for Shakespeare-thirsty curious people. If you like drama, romance or tragedy, and you'd like to imagine you were a lord or a lady in Italy, England, France or Greece many centuries ago, this is the book for you. Happy reading!

Rusty Kitty

2010-11-07T21:49:00.003+07:00

First thing first.

Russell Brand is the very messy type of guy whom in your first sight of him would think he puts a different girl in a cab every other day and will never, ever settle down for a marriage.

Truth is, he did. I mean, they did.

Well, I didn't really like Russell or Katy. I thought he's too messy and she's too Lady GaGa. But once they coupled up and see what happens? This is what I think love should be: it makes each of the lovers be a better version of who they are. They look so much better together than apart, and life is such a fairytale if you look at it through them.

I imagine Russell isn't always the funny guy we know him to be, maybe the rumours were true; with Katy, he seeks for God and became spiritual and matured up and then finally ready for marriage.

Two things from the last picture. 1) A love like these two share, and 2) That Chanel bag. Please.

oh, one bonus picture! If you go to the same college as me and knows something, you'll probably smile :)

Some people were born with tragedies in their blood

2010-11-06T18:46:00.004+07:00

I would like to sit in the middle of a green Irish county, listening to Damien Rice, reading Pablo Neruda poems, drinking cold sparkling water, being completely anonymous

Because of you, in the gardens of blossoming flowers I ache from perfumes of spring

I have forgotten your face, I no longer remember your hands; how did your lips feel on mine?

Elle Vous Aimes, Ouais Ouais Ouais

2010-10-31T22:29:00.006+07:00

Vanessa Paradis, you are such a bitch. You get Johnny Depp, you get une fille et un fils. You are a Chanel icon. You are friends with Karl Lagerfeld, he even likes you and made you his muse. You are a very cool singer and actress. You make every dress looks great on you. You wear red lipstick like no other. You live in Paris and spend spare time in St. Tropez. To put it simply, you are amazing. How could there be such a bitch like you?

I was watching her rom-com film Heartbreaker with Romain Duris a few days ago in my lodge room with my one of my best girls and we were like, "Wait a sec!! That's Vanessa Paradis! The woman who got Johnny Depp and has his two kids?! Whoaaaa that bitch!!! Wait. TWO kids? Deux. Two kids and still got that body?! B.I.T.C.H. I want her every dresses here!"

avec Lily-Rose et Jack

Também bate um coração

2010-10-31T21:24:00.004+07:00

I miss a lot of things
I miss my old friends, I want them back
I miss the idea of home, because now each time I go back home I couldn't find what I miss
I guess what it really means is I just miss the idea of home, or simply my childhood
I miss being anonymous in a strange city that I've never been before, avoiding bitter truths
I miss sitting on the fresh green grass of a beautiful Londonese park, dolce far niente
I miss being able to dance like no one's watching and sing like nobody's listening, ignoring everything
I miss high school, I miss the times when people arrange everything for you
I miss being a fat kid who loves cake, and nobody reminds me of how much calories I've had
I miss reading such pure and honest books like The Catcher in The Rye or The Perks of Being a Wallflower
I miss spending money on expensive magazines without noticing it'd only end up in dusty piles
I miss the feeling of receiving compliments from strangers, because they're the honest ones
I miss my appreciation towards art and wickedly cool things
I miss the beauty and the chicness that people seem to forget here
I miss the innocent people who encourage me to dream so high, shoot the moon so I'll land among the stars
I miss my imagination
I miss you
I miss us

2010-10-30T12:06:00.001+07:00

I need to stop caring and worrying everything that's not mine to care and worry about

Non Arrivederci Roma

2010-10-13T18:20:00.004+07:00

You know what idea I had while visiting Fontana di Trevi?

I came back to Rome, riding on a Vespa, enjoying cheap gelato, have pizza margarita lunch, saying grazie and scusi everywhere I go, and doing it all with you.

Everything reminded me of you what can I do?

2010-10-09T22:45:00.006+07:00

Citta de Vaticano

London, I knew you so well. One night is not enough, at all! I've had great times with you, and we'll have so much fun next time. There will always be next time for us, I promise.
Paris, I love you. You are so amazing. You are so beautiful and so much fun. You are grande! I wish a much longer time to stay, there are still so many places I wanna see. You never disappoint. And please don't.
Amsterdam, you are the epitome of home to me. You feel so familiar and I like how people treat Indonesians like me. Thank you so much for being a home in a place ten thousand miles away.
Germany, thank God I learned Deutsch for 3 years. Thank God you have one of the most beautiful races in the world. Thank God you're so clean and discipline. God bless your charged toilets. Danke.
Switzerland, you are so peaceful. You are so charming and beautiful. You are so sweet, you have the best chocolates and candies in the world. Keep being amazing. I'll see you soon but maybe not the Alps. I can't stand the cold.
Milano, how do you manage to have so many beautiful, stylish people? Where did you get them all from? Insanely full of living mannequins! And how do you manage to keep me seeing things that remind me of the most memorable Italian so far? I saw via Torino, via Carlo Cattaneo everywhere, like each time I turned my head to see a street sign.... I hate you. Oh no Milano, ti amo!
Venezia, you are so amazing, just you know. You are, and you must know it. But I cried the day I came to you, amore mio. Why is that? Well, at least I learned that promises are made by happy people who were just overwhelmed and thus ready to make any promises. And yet, promises are made to be broken, so don't set your hopes too high. Thank you for making me learn this. Grazie mille.
Roma, I don't get why people are more into Paris than you. Truth is, you are far more interesting. Full stop.
Vatican, you chose the right artist. Michaelangelo is perfect. The art, the architecture is classic but timeless, et c'est ci parfait!

Everything is clearer when you're in love

2010-10-09T22:19:00.005+07:00

"It's too much of an important day to think of my birthday - it's all about being there for mum and remembering dad. I try not to think, 'What if?' But it gets hard for me to imagine what life would have been like if he had lived. I just think it's sad that I've never been able to enjoy an adult relationship (with my dad) like I had with my mum and my friends. But I try not to beat my head against the wall asking what could have been. People think I was too young to remember him but there are lots of things I remember about my dad, like him teaching me how to swim, how to use a knife and fork and him rolling up his cigarettes. I remember him telling me about England and promising he'd take me to (his hometown of) Liverpool. But he never did."

Sean Lennon

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOHN, HAPPY BIRTHDAY SEAN

It feels like nothing it ever felt before

2010-08-25T22:52:00.008+07:00

"True friends are like diamonds; bright, beautiful, valuable, and always in style." --Nicole Richie
So many friends have left, but this one is the worst. I don't know why, but I guess this is what happens when it comes to your best friend of 6 years and still counting. It's just somehow worse and harder than it's always been. I was sitting alone in my lodge and suddenly this thought came to me: hey,when is this gurl leaving? ooh please, I'd better find out, before suddenly the phone rings and the voice over there saying, "Hey, wazzup? I'm leaving tonight."
Dear friend,

I know I've been a terrible friend for you, but I just wanna let you know, that you're my best. I know I've been ignoring you for some very, very stupid reasons--reasons that you don't deserve, because they're really not worth it. If I were you and I have a friend like me, I'd probably leave her. But you didn't, and that's the most amazing part of you. You didn't just give up on me, no matter how annoying and disappointing I am as a friend.

A little newsflash: I still remember the day we first met; before we were friends and all that. I still remember the way you look that day, at the school mosque. It's amazing how it happened 6 years ago and I never forget, while I tend to keep forgetting things I just heard yesterday. I don't know how I could remember it very clearly, but I wanna let my kids and grandchildren know about this.

I'm still questioning everything, like, why Japan? Why really, why?

But I know you love Japan. And I'm sure you'll love it there. I'm sure you'll have an amazing life waiting for you over there. I'm sure you'll get all the better and all that you deserve; because you deserve the best. I'm sure you'll have amazing friends, amazing experiences, amazing uni... just like I do.

I'm gonna miss your calls so badly. I'm gonna miss your stories, your jokes, your laughs... hopefully I'm still gonna remember your laugh 4 years from now. Hopefully we'd still speak the same languange then, or laugh as hard as we can do today. Hopefully, in the future, I'll see you as we're both on top of the world.

Be good in Japan. Take care of everything. Spend your money wisely as everything is so expensive there. Right, I started to sound like your mom. But really, just don't suck at keeping old friends. Always remember that back home, you'd still got your family, and I'm not going anywhere for the next 4 years, just in case you need a friend and share your cool experiences in Japan :p

I wish you all the best luck in the world. I wish you a much better life. I miss you already.

"...no matter how far we are, we are still under the same sky"

your super extra cool friend for 6 years (and still counting)

Before it all goes to waste, I wanna remember it all

2010-08-17T21:31:00.003+07:00

Greetings!

If you ask me how I am, I'm very well, thanks. If you want an update, here's the short one. I'd like to share (in fact, I'd LOVE to. you know I love that kind of activity) but I just wanna say, I've had some of the best moments of the year in the last 20 days, and that's fast. New experiences, nostalgia, new friends, all the sadness and laughs and tears shared with new people, all the secret crushes... everything is so full packed! Just in case you insists to know why, here's some hints:

OBM mates

The girls of voeging: Puspa, Dea, moi et Bela in Bogor

Fingers crossed for all the good things to never end. But if it will, I'll just be thankful it happened and that means it was good.

regards,

your editor in chief

2010-07-28T14:29:00.000+07:00

I worry the most about myself when I can’t write a damn single thing.
Because mostly what it means is that I’ve lost all feeling in everything.

source

My thoughts are so offensive it needs rehab

2010-07-27T20:22:00.004+07:00

I feel so dope. Dope, dope, dope and emo. I'm listening to Damien Rice just to calm myself down in this cold night. I feel so dope because I get scared a lot. Because I have so much fear in me, it's crazy. I have so much fears that's been ruling my life. I still can't believe of things like "You can't make everyone happy" because I still try to. I can't just write down whatever it is I'm feeling like writing, very unlike this friend of mine. I still believe that we can't just dance like no one's watching, because I know people watch, I know people judge, and it's scary how people do it. Haters gonna hate, and I don't know if anyone ever bother hating me, but I know they'd judge. That's the only thing I know. And many times, people judge way too fast, they judge things they don't really know, they judge things without even bother looking at the big picture. I don't know how many more times I have to bore you by saying how afraid I am of what people think of my writings. I tweet less and less if someone don't tweet me. I delete my tweets even before sending them because I was afraid someone will be hurt, someone will misunderstood. I don't like confrontation. If I could I'd just avoid every provocation or anything like that. I do hate things and people--I have to admit it, I'm done acting saint or sinner, I quit pretending--but to be confronted is just not my style. I don't know when I'm going to realize that none of it matters. I guess it's easier to say that I'm just insecure, and my insecurity overwhelms me. I don't know when I'm going to realize that it's just me being a teenager, that it's only love and hatred and misunderstandings, that there are bigger things out there than just fitting in. That fitting in is a utopia. That in the end, you just want to stand up and be memorable. Enough with fishes in the sea. It's time we get a cat out of a sea. For now, I'll just let Whitey Durham saved me.

"Most of the time the greatest rewards come from doing the things that scare you the most." ~Whitey Durham, One Tree Hill

Words Cannot Hurt Me

2010-07-27T20:12:00.001+07:00

If I really had to pick ONE good stuff about Eclipse

2010-07-06T19:11:00.002+07:00

When we were five, they asked us what we wanted to be when we grew up. Our answers were things like astronaut, president, or in my case, a princess. When we were ten, they asked again. We answered rock star, cowboy, or in my case, gold medalist. But now that we’ve grown up, they want a serious answer. Well, how about this: who the hell knows? This isn’t the time to make hard and fast decisions, this is the time to make mistakes. Take the wrong train and get stuck somewhere. Fall in love… a lot. Major in philosophy, cause there’s no way to make a career out of that. Change your mind and change itagain, because nothing’s permanent. So make as many mistakes as you can. That way, someday, when they ask again what we want to be, we won’t have to guess. We’ll know.

Jessica Stanley, Eclipse.

Oh boy, look at you, el nino

2010-07-04T01:51:00.001+07:00

Jon Kortajarena in A Single Man, played a male hustler that George Falconer refused.

Look at that face, jaw, cheekbones, piercing stares.... everything!

You'll Never Walk Alone

2010-06-30T01:09:00.004+07:00

"Here's to the kids.

The kids who would rather spend their night with a bottle of coke & Patrick or Sonny playing on their headphones than go to some vomit-stained high school party.
Here's to the kids whose 11:11 wish was wasted on one person who will never be there for them.
Here's to the kids whose idea of a good night is sitting on the hood of a car, watching the stars.
Here's to the kids who never were too good at life, but still were wicked cool.
Here's to the kids who listened to Fall Out boy and Hawthorne Heights before they were on MTV...and blame MTV for ruining their life.
Here's to the kids who care more about the music than the haircuts.
Here's to the kids who have crushes on a stupid lush.
Here's to the kids who hum "A Little Less 16 Candles, A Little More Touch Me" when they're stuck home, dateless, on a Saturday night.
Here's to the kids who have ever had a broken heart from someone who didn't even know they existed.
Here's to the kids who have read The Perks of Being a Wallflower & didn't feel so alone after doing so.
Here's to the kids who spend their days in photobooths with their best friend(s).
Here's to the kids who are straight up smartasses & just don't care.
Here's to the kids who speak their mind.
Here's to the kids who consider screamo their lullaby for going to sleep.
Here's to the kids who second guess themselves on everything they do.
Here's to the kids who will never have 100 percent confidence in anything they do, and to the kids who are okay with that.
Here's to the kids.
This one's not for the kids,
who always get what they want,
But for the ones who never had it at all.
It's not for the ones who never got caught,
But for the ones who always try and fall.
This one's for the kids who didnt make it,
We were the kids who never made it.
The Overcast girls and the Underdog Boys.
Not for the kids who had all their joys.
This one's for the kids who never faked it.
We're the kids who didn't make it.
They say "Breaking hearts is what we do best,"
And, "We'll make your heart be ripped of your chest"
The only heart that I broke was mine,
When I got My Hopes up too too high.
We were the kids who didnt make it.
We are the kids who never made it."

-Pete Wentz

2010-06-25T19:47:00.004+07:00

Sometimes it feels like it was yesterday. We graduated high school, saying goodbye. That feeling that you get at seventeen or eighteen that nobody in the history of the world has ever been this close, has ever loved as fiercely or laughed as hard or cared as much. Sometimes it feels like it was yesterday and sometimes it feels like someone else’s memory.
Lucas Scott, 4 Years, 6 Months, 2 Days

Frog... oh no! Bald Prince!

2010-06-22T10:22:00.004+07:00

Perhaps ten years ago, every girl in the world is crushing on this ex-Etonian His Royal Highness for his second-in-line to the throne, gorge face, DNA, status et al. Well, all grown up, except one thing........

his hair.

Photo courtesy by Hollywoodgrind

How far are dreams reached out by people?

2010-06-17T17:54:00.005+07:00

It's holiday and it's time to really refresh my mind. I take this chance to start getting in touch with my old friends again--because i really suck in keeping in touch with old friends. It's probably the right time, since class of 2010 everywhere are going to college and we start to wonder everyday, where does my crush go to? And my childhood best friend? Is my bestie from junior high going to the same school as me? Will I meet my future husband in my college? The question goes on forever it's so scary how one can wonder so much. The start of college also raise new goals, new expectations and when you got the school you want, you think you'd reach your dreams. You know, when you think you've survived high school and then you can survive anywhere? Well, as an optimist, I do, believe that I, and you, or I mean we, can survive. We'd reach our dreams. But the questions is, so many people have been in our position before, how many of them actually did make their dreams come true? I don't like to be the one who break it to you, I don't wanna lower your expectations or say, "Don't dream too high!"--but those things happen to me. I broke down when I realised this. I mean... we're 16, 17 or maybe 18. Go ask the elders around you about being 17 and how you're gonna make your dreams come true. They'd say, "Come on, you're 17,"

We're not realistic, we're naïve. Well, maybe some of you think you're not, hey, that's just like me, I believe that I can do anything and I'll survive and I'll be successful... there's no doubt about it. But hey, every 17 year olds do that. Every single person in all of us. But see what's going on today? Great people don't come from the same class. They didn't sit next to each other when they were 17, so maybe, when you're sitting in a classroom, you'd think of yourself, "Oh, I'll be the most successful of them all." but they also think the same. Problem is, there's only one king and the rest will fall. It's like when Americans drill in their people's minds that they're the #1 nation in the world, but so do French, British, German, Indonesian and every country in the world. No one would wanna say, "We're #2 nation in the world!" Everyone wants to win.

It's hard for me to understand what dream really means right now. Don't worry, I still have them, they're important. But does being an adult would kill it? Because that's what adults are trying to tell us, it's good to have a dream, it's important, everyone has to have one. But not all of them can become true. Dreams are sweet. Some of us will get bitter as we get older, because disappointments are bitter and they keep coming in life.

I don't wanna grow up. but I can't wait to see my dreams come true. Sometimes I think Miley Cyrus is the luckiest kid in the world.

this post is written straight after reading Pungky's post, here she's my muse of the month :)

You'll be dancing once again like the pain will end

2010-06-17T14:28:00.003+07:00

I admire those people who, after all these rejections and pains and sufferings, can still hold their heads up strong and face everything with smile. I like people whose life isn't always so smooth and easy, because the obstacles are what make them beautiful. I know that smile can't be true, but even if it's not, thank you for keeping your face beautiful with it. Rejections are what make the rest of your life worthwhile. Break a sweat now, while you're still strong and fine and dandy.

But I thought this is my life!

2010-06-16T18:07:00.002+07:00

Hi. News flash: I'm officially a law student. In Indonesia. Goddamn. I was thisclose to be journalistic student in Bournemouth or Westminster. This is definitely not the most terrific moment in my life, as there are things with my best friend and people around me who seem to be very controlling or opinionated about me. I mean, can't people stop blaming me about choices that I made?? Can't people PLEASE stop asking me 'why' in every action I'm going to do, because you know what, 'WHY NOT' is being my answer. I thought this is my life and I get to control it, but why is everybody telling me what's what?! Hasn't it ever crossed your mind before that despite how idiotic I am, I'm smart enough to know what I want and what to choose for myself and will be fully responsible and committed to my own choice? I was just sharing with you, I don't need your opinion at all, especially if they just make me doubtful.

Obsession, passion and to-do list

2010-06-15T20:44:00.003+07:00

10. Glastonbury Festival

9. Wall Street Journal Columnist

8. 7th Arrondissement apartment

7. Chanel quilted chain bag

6. Memorise Beatles lyrics

5. Read Jane Austen's, F. Scott Fitzgerald's and David Sedaris'

4. Running my own magazine

3. Fluent Français

2. Pay back my daddy's money and buy mommy her dream house

1. Mr. Darcy

what's your you-might-think-i'm-dreaming-but-hell-yeah-i'll-show-you-what-i'm-capable-of list?

Dear you

2010-06-15T20:11:00.002+07:00

You are the least person in this world I thought would ever turn this cold and bitter. I learned to open my heart and mind to the world and people from you, basically you changed the way I live. I thought life can't change who you are. I know you're mad at me, but honestly I never ever meant to turn my back on you. I'm sorry I acted like a spoiled brat and have been such a disappointment, I'm so sorry I was never a really good friend to you... but I hope you know that to me, you're my best friend. I hope you know that it upsets me how things changed in 3 years. Honestly if I could turn back time, I would. This isn't me just saying bullshit, this is me telling you the truth. I would turn back time if I could, even if it costs me the results I have right now. Because if you can't stand the pain, I'd take it away and make it my part, not yours. Because who knows I could be stronger than you? I think you still can't see the light in the dark side of this life, and how I tried to help you actually doesn't help, but I can see that light, so give me that, because I can make it better. I don't think you'd read this, but I hope without sweating to read, you can understand that this is how I feel.

How long would she wait for you?

2010-05-17T14:19:00.002+07:00

Congratulations, mathlete.

Trees spend all day looking up at God

2010-05-10T17:28:00.004+07:00

"So, now you know how badly someone wanted you, Charley. Children forget that sometimes. They think of themselves as a burden instead of a wish granted." -Mitch Albom, For One More Day

Happy mother's day, Mum :)

Oh John

2010-05-01T19:38:00.003+07:00

How would you characterize George's, Paul's and Ringo's reaction to Yoko?

It's the same. You can quote Paul, it's probably in the papers; he said it many times that at first he hated Yoko, and then he got to like her. But it's too late for me. I'm for Yoko. Why should she take that kind of shit from those people? They were writing about her looking miserable in the film Let It Be, but you sit through sixty sessions with the most bigheaded, uptight people on earth and see what it's fuckin' like and be insulted. And George, shit, insulted her right to her face in the Apple office at the beginning, just being ``straightforward,'' you know, that game of ``I'm going to be upfront, because this is what we've heard,'' and Dylan and a few people said she'd got a lousy name in New York. That's what George said to her! And we both sat through it. I didn't hit him; I don't know why. Ringo was all right, but the other two really gave it to us. I'll never forgive them, I don't care what fuckin' shit about Hare Krishna and God and Paul with his ``Well, I've changed me mind.'' I can't forgive 'em for that, really. Although I can't help still loving them either.

Do you have a picture of ``when I'm sixty-four''?

No, no. I hope we're a nice old couple living off the coast of Ireland or something like that - looking at our scrapbook of madness.

Of course, John didn't live up to 64 years old. Well, bright stars burn fast.

Good News In April

2010-04-29T21:32:00.003+07:00

You see, I always love April because...

Your editor-in-chief (yes, that's me) turned 17

and

She graduated high school!!!

Thanks a lot for the very fun ride. You all are my biggest supporters.

I promise you, this is the last time I'm being gloomy

2010-04-21T12:14:00.003+07:00

I'm outta bed now and yes it feels soooooooooooooooooooooooooo daaammmmnnnnnnnnnn goooooooodddddddd. Thank God. Almost 1 month straight feeling so sick, now I finally walk normally again! I might still have to do my habit, like, I have my meal schedule and it can't be late or my stomach will "SCRRRREEEAAAAMMMMM" again. That was not funny, haha yeah, but I'm allowed, this is my page anyway.

I don't know, I... maybe because I'm just lying on my bed all day while staring at the clock ticking, I get to think about a lot of things. You know what, gue sempet marah sama Tuhan. gue sempet keseeeeel banget, gue sempet nyalahin keadaan (karena gue ga berani nyalahin Tuhan) kenapa gue mesti sakit pas UAN? Can't He choose another momentless time?????????? Dan kenapa juga tepat setelah UAN, ada ratusan ujian lainnya yang mengharuskan gue bangun dari bed rest gue? Dari yang harusnya 2 minggu, gue cuma istirahat 4 hari, dan mungkin itu yang bikin pemulihan gue lebih lama. Terus, I don't know, you might think this is so lame, but I heard it on the radio my mum was listening to once upon a night, and this inspiring journalist from TV, Andy F Noya, was speaking. He told his life stories and his life change. Dia bilang, satu hal yang paling mengubah hidupnya adalah waktu dia belajar tentang keikhlasan. Karena disaat kita bingung harus kemana di belantara kehidupan ini, atau mungkin saat kita marah sama Tuhan (this is so touching) kalau kita mau ikhlas, kita bakal menemukan jalan, dan menurutnya, that behaviour is what's gonna get us through this life. Because we really, really, really have no idea what life has in store for us. And like Gossip Girl said, just in time when you think you've seen it all, life can still surprises you.

While I was at my worst, my mum told me that maybe this illness is a gift, mungkin ini bukan sepenuhnya cobaan atau hukuman. I look at her and there's sadness, regrets and tiredness from working while being my nurse. She lost some weight by taking care of me, cuz I was practically a huge baby. I was a huge mess. But she always remind me that there are people out there with worse condition than I am, so she always wants me to be grateful, though I honestly thought I could be better.

Well, she was right. One night, my uncle rang my dad. Take this note from the expert, guys: When someone in your family, who don't necessarily call you daily, suddenly call you in the night or very early in the morning, be prepared. JUST BE PREPARED. So, my father's cousin died. We live not that far from her, but we're not close. Tapi..... beliau udah membusuk. Tetangganya nemuin beliau sekitar jam 6 sore lewat atapnya karena curiga lampu depannya sudah 2 hari nyala terus dan begitu di dobrak, baunya busuk. akhirnya mereka telpon polisi, terus telpon ke radio. Who knows, ternyata nyokap dan bokap gue dengerin waktu ada telpon di radio itu tapi karena ga disebut nama korbannya mereka nggak sadar.

See? Life can still surprises you.

Unlike you, I'm taking my heart with me

2010-04-11T20:53:00.002+07:00

Okay, look. so I think you know, or maybe the whole world knows, that I had a terrible typhus during the past two weeks and I missed some tests so I had, like, a gazillion catchups to do. It was sooooooo tiring and you'll never imagine it if you don't have it yourself. even just someone saying "get well soon" meant a lot to me because it's so nice to get someone to care about me, so to those of you who said it, thank you very much.

the real reason why i'm writing this, is not only because a very loyal reader and friend whom i met today demands it, but also because i actually have a point. i just wanna say, like what i've written on my tumblr, that i'm actually a victim of a system ruled by heartless people who run all these crazy tests non-stop that my body stops responding well. you know what, when you grow up, I don't care what you're gonna be, be it an educational minister, a doctor, an architect, a journalist, an engineer, or a lawyer, whatever you'll be, TAKE YOUR HEART WITH YOU. It's important to at least every once in a lifetime let your head follow your heart. Who cares if those modern people call you lame. maybe you are lame, but at least you don't sell out, you don't hurt people. I believe those honorable who's supposed to arrange all these tests dates have a heart, but maybe they leave it at home, or they sell it to the devil, or maybe they just forget to function, because of course, they don't have to make all of these have no stop.

I don't care who or what you are, where you've been or when you're great or how you reach it all, just take your heart with you.

Sandra Bullock Doesn't Talk Bollocks

2010-03-08T19:27:00.003+07:00

This is instant example of what I said being 'full of compliment'. I guess getting Razzie one night and an Oscar the next five seconds really does teach Sandra something.

P.S. She looks really good in Marchesa.

Did I really earn this or did I just wear you all down? I would like to thank the Academy for allowing me in the last month to have the most incredible ride with rooms full of artists that I see tonight and that I've worked with before and I hope to work with in the future, who inspire me and blaze trails for us. Four of them that I've fallen deeply in love with I share this night with and I share this award with.

Gabby, I love you so much. You are exquisite. You are beyond words to me. Carey, your grace and your elegance and your beauty and your talent makes me sick. Helen, I feel like we are family through family and I don't have the words to express just what I think of you. And Meryl, you know what I think of you and you are such a good kisser.

Not enough time, so I would like to thank what this film is about for me which are the moms that take care of the babies and the children no matter where they come from. Those moms and parents never get thanked. I, in particular, failed to thank one. So... if I can take this moment to thank Helga B. for not letting me ride in cars with boys until I was 18 because she was right. I would've done what she said I was gonna do. For making me practice every day when I got home. Piano, ballet, whatever it is I wanted to be. She said to be an artist, you had to practice every day, and for reminding her daughters that there's no race, no religion, no class system, no color, nothing, no sexual orientation that makes us better than anyone else. We are all deserving of love. So, to that trailblazer, who allowed me to have that. And this. And this. I thank you so much for this opportunity that I share with these extraordinary women and my lover Meryl Streep. Thank you.

Click here to watch the speech

Twitter Rule

2010-03-08T14:16:00.003+07:00

When you wanna say something, you have to really mean it. This is not kindergarten anymore. You can't say something just because you have to, or someone force you to. Don't RT a happy birthday wish, or a sympathetic tweet, or a thank you note, or a congratulation sayings. Be sincere. Be kind. Because as I grow older, I stop admiring intelligent people, there's a bunch of them just in my school. But kind people, they're really rare. Try complimenting people. Because no matter what, compliments make people feel better. Like that Japanese proverb, one kind word can warm the whole winter

This Is Why School Sucks

2010-03-06T20:15:00.002+07:00

The Best Part About Brooke Davis....

2010-03-06T10:45:00.004+07:00

....is that she always puts her friends first.

Peyton

Brooke's yearbook photo. My favourite episode by far

Today, I realise that I'm not Brooke Davis enough. Maybe I never was. I can't play Brooke Davis just because I got the look-a-like bone structure on my arm (short and meaty hahhah) or the straight hair OR the non-studious student type. I'm too selfish to have that best part about Brooke Davis. I put myself first in every single thing in my life. My favourite quote is, "Remember that I comes before U."

So, pour a champagne and say au revoir to this old game. We trade characters. Brooke Davis is now you, Nes.