Burnt Candles

So, how's the first 3 days of 2017 been serving you?

It's too early to tell, but perhaps it's the right time to start projecting your hopes and fears and dreams for the year.

I was on the cab back home this evening when I stumbled upon this post by TIME Magazine, and, within the relatively short 10 minutes of me reaching my destination, I almost cried.

This article gets me.

Other people don't.

I myself don't.

Apparently, science does.

For a good part of 2016, I spent my days smiling because someone thought I was doing awesome, when really, (because I hate myself) I was just doing what I thought was the way it's supposed to be. But later on, a couple of months nearing 2017, I found myself losing sleep because my brain just won't shut up. My body, on the other hand, can feel that it no longer has the energy. I've drained myself out of any life during the day that, at night, when I'm alone in the darkness of my room, I should've just fallen asleep. But instead, I was wide awake; trying so hard to fool myself to fall asleep that, when I do, it probably would've been well past midnight.

Come 2017, I want to be more grateful for what I am. I want to learn to accept myself and see it the way other people see me. I want to know that I'm strong enough for everything that comes my way. I want to know that I can always get better, and a smooth sea never make a skilled sailor. Maybe then, that post wouldn't kick my right to my gut the way it did today.

Maybe.

I hope so.