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| Me, 2021 |
Hi everyone! Happy new year! And since it's been 45 days into 2021 - Happy Valentine's Day!
Never before in my 27 years, have I ever celebrated Valentine's Day. I never really said it to anyone - and even if I have, probably just out of politeness or societal requirements. Long story short, I don't hate it. I just don't believe in it.
And two years ago, I ghosted someone just two days before Valentine's Day because I was too... scared, to face this very day, with someone who probably has moved on from me while I was still crashing into love with him.
Fast forward two years later, I found someone who also claim to have never celebrated Valentine's Day, but changed his mind this year. And consequently, I changed my mind about it, too.
I have to admit a few things here before you all got the wrong idea. I love the person that I am celebrating this year's Valentine's Day with. He has changed my mind about a lot of things. A good speaker. Roses. Long distance relationship. Monogamy. Valentine's Day. He has touched my heart before he touched my body. I love him, and I am very thankful because I found him. I'm so lucky, and he is the reason I got through a lot of things - I got through the dreadful year of 2020 with such a breeze because of him. Long story short, he's been such a blessing.
But then something irks me still. How come after all these years - after everything that happened, and after finding myself a new love that I am happy and comfortable in... It still hurts to think of what I did two years ago? Why? I know I found it extremely hard to get over him but eventually I did, and now I am actually happy with what I have, and I can proudly say that I am happy to see him happy. I no longer think to myself, "That could be me." No. I've moved past that, and yet... How come he still lingers every now and then?
And then I saw this on Instagram story of one of my favorite artists:
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| @bymariandrew |
This Valentine's Day, I want to expressly write about how the past two years have taught so many things about love - especially romantic love. I have learned that yes, some people come into your life as either a blessing or a lesson, but even when you thought someone came as a lesson, that in and of itself is still a blessing. We should allow ourselves to have some people that can never stop loving. Because I think we do have that someone; maybe even more than one. That doesn't mean we don't love our present, that we don't respect them enough. It just means that we acknowledge a time in our lives where someone and something special took place. We don't discount the happiness we currently have just because we still think something wonderful happened to us in the past. I think we should welcome the idea that maybe that someone is only special because of our idea of them, but even just that "idea" lives somewhere in our heart. They'll live there for a long time if not forever, but our hearts are made of muscles that can expand too. We will all love again someday, and build more rooms for more people and love in the future ❤️
