Sunday, October 24, 2021

Have I Ever Been In Love Before?

The past month has left me wondering: have I ever actually been in love before?

Hear me out.

I am 28 years old and there have been people who come and go in my life since I was, maybe, 5 years old? (I had my first crush in first grade lol). And the older I get, the more that I understand what having a crush is. What being attracted to someone means. And I certainly thought that I have learned what loving and being loved by someone should mean. Every single one of the people who came and went into my life taught me all of that; and I thought maybe I have a pretty good understanding of how it works. But turns out I don't. I don't know what love is. I don't know how to love someone. I don't know how to be loved by someone, too.

Or maybe my understanding is just wrong.

Because the past month has been an amazing long-lasting high that I didn't know could exist. And what it took is one person. One person who made me rethink so many things in my life I hardly can remember why I lived my life the way I did before I know him.

But is it love? Or am I just in yet another love that may be fleeting and will teach me a lesson?