Flightless Bird

It was dark, and I was sleepy, my head was heavy, and it was most likely just the wine talking...

but in the darkest, loneliest, quietest of night,

I miss you.

Unattainable

For a while, I didn't realize how I have completely stopped writing about a particular person. Not out of deliberation, just sheer coincidence. God knows how hard I've tried to stop, but it had become an obsession--or rather, a weird hobby that involves a muse that will never get a thank you note, because he doesn't even realize how he's inspired so many writings, so many words, and countless of dreams. These days, I barely ever think about him. In fact, I barely ever think about anyone at all. The very idea that I could write about someone as much as I did of him is just beyond unthinkable. Not that I don't trust myself to ever find love again (was it even love?) but I just don't think I'd ever be... as naive, as green, and as nonchalant as I used to be. I was young--younger than I am today--and I just did it so effortlessly. Now that I'm older, I can barely see someone and not immediately pinpoint something about him that I don't like and won't tolerate. I may be incapable of love--after all, you know I'm a pusher in that I push everyone away. And I know I shouldn't... I just can't help it. I had to. Otherwise, I'd feel like I'd dissolve into a million molecules and cease to exist. What makes this person so interesting in the first place? I don't know. Please don't ask me such question, for I can't even get to the very idea why. We probably wouldn't get along very well anyway. I can even see myself and this person in another universe and even in there, I don't trust myself with him. Even in another universe, I couldn't do it. I wouldn't dare imagine that there will ever be a story, in any alternate universe in this vast and unexplored life, in which we could be together and live happily ever after. Nope. Not even in my wildest dream. 

Everything Looks Perfect From Far Away

Did you ever realize how lucky we are to be born into this world?

I absolutely thought that, since we don't actually know each other, then it's not the best place to be. But the truth is, this right here, is my favorite universe. The one where you don't know me and I love the idea of you, and yet here we are. In the same frequency.