FCOTUS

Let us all just focus on how perfectly human our favorite First Couple of The United States is. Like they're just your average Mr. & Mrs. Neighbor, except that you don't live next door to the White House. Look how beautiful this picture is. I don't know much about Obamacare and his other policies but I love Michele and I love him for marrying her. Life is beautiful this way.

Baby you've hurt me

Sometimes I wonder if we ever realize the power we have to hurt people. We always think that people hurt us; that we have always been the best version of us and yet they always act in the worst manner possible. And when we actually do something bad, something that hurt someone, we still think that we've done the best we can, because we are so good and wonderfully-skilled to make excuses for ourselves. Which is terrible. Which is the main logical reason as to why people still tend to hurt each other, even without weapons. 

I need you to know that you've hurt me. No, not severely, but it still hurts. I am an individual human being that was blessed with feelings and emotions that I don't always like, and am not always proud of, but whatever I feel, I feel. You cannot stop me from feeling what I feel. But a part of me knows that I am fine because I do not let my feelings get the best of me. I am not a servant to my emotions. I can always stop it to feel what it feels, even though sometimes it takes time and tears and fed up emotions and so on.

So, you can be proud of me, or perhaps ashamed because of me. I didn't fall under your trap. Okay, almost. You were like that steep cliff where I could only hold on to a tiny branch, but that tiny branch helped me live instead of fall in too deep. You see, I live. Without your help. It's thanks to you that I am hurt and left having to survive all the pain by myself. But I'm not just a girl. I'm the girl who's not gonna give her heart to you just because you said you love her. I'm the girl who won't sacrifice her pride, her dignity and her wisdom just so that you would be with her; or just because she fell in love with you. You think you're loving, but you don't love her.

And now she, I mean, I, want to be free. I am not going to let anyone or anything define my life, dictate what should and what shouldn't be. This is not a good bye. This is my way of saying that I am so disappointed. I thought you were better than this, you know? I thought, out of every one in this world, you wouldn't be the one to do this. But you already did. Like I said, this is not a good bye. I'm still gonna be here, and you could just stay exactly where you are now. But you should know that you no longer have the power to hurt me. I won't allow you. Not anymore.

20

I've always been waiting for my turn to start my twenties. I cannot wait to grow older. And enjoying it. 

Can't Help Falling In Love With You

"You know what, I believe in God. I believe in His power to create the best possible life for me. I believe in His mighty ability to help us all from darkness, and that He was always the light that we stick into the dark when the night gets too gloom for us to see. I always believe in Him. But then you came. Life happens. And we don't get to choose who we fall in love with. So without knowing, I fell in love with you, and that's when I thought... God, You could do better. I'm pretty sure He knows that I can't like you. And that you can't like me either. So why do I have to meet you in the first place? Why do I have to know you? Why do you exist in this world? Can't He choose a better world for you to live in? I can't like you, no matter how badly I wanted to. They say when you want something, you gotta want it bad enough. But I did. I wanted you so, so bad, but it's still impossible. There are things you can't change no matter what you do, like the weather, the past, and so on, and this is one of those things. It's not my past, or my current situation, and nothing related to the future, but it is necessary to stop any calamity that might results from my failure to control my feelings. It is necessary, not for me, not for you, but for the rest of population. You see, I'm a hero, in my very own way. Do not laugh about it, because I actually dried my tear glands to reach the point where I can think clearly about this matter. So you see, I like you. It's a lot like love, actually, but if that 65 year old man who's been married for decades have no idea about love, who am I to say that I love you? I strongly hope that you don't feel the same way for me because... Because it will be easier for me than if you feel otherwise. But hey, if you do feel the same way, this is me trying to make sense of this ugly truth about us. My shoulders have shuddered from crying but now I'm strong enough to do this, so please bear with me. Be strong for me. Pretend that you don't feel it, because at least that way I could think that you didn't have to go through the same shit I do. At least I would know that there's no sleepless nights, river of cries or stupid, angry emotions that you experienced because let me tell you: it's terrible. I know because I've been there. I know, because... Because you make me. No, scratch that. Because God wants me to know you. God wants me to know that there's still someone like you out there; someone who (probably) likes me back, but knows his every boundaries and is sane enough not to fight for me because God knows had you asked me to run away with you, I would. Because if there really is a parallel universe, I would still choose you. And if there really is another life, I would STILL stubbornly choose you. God teaches me fortitude through you; that there are things that cannot be, that being thankful doesn't always mean because I can get what I want. Sometimes gratitude comes from not getting the one (and only) thing I always wanted. Like you. So, thank you. Thanks for coming into my life. I will not regret it."

PS. You're never gonna ask me this so let me do it: Run away with me. 

Victory A

Melbourne, Victoria, AU

 March 2013

And You Were There

I have never made it a secret that I always wanted someone so specific and unrealistic, that I thought they'd only live in my imagination. Because someone who has the capacity to deal with my insanity and my weird being and simply my entire existence would only equal to my mom or dad. But as if I had been blind while struggling to see, just in time when I stopped looking, you were there. You were there, with hands wide open and a smile so beautiful as if telling me, "Your search is over. I'm right here." You should see the look on your face. You don't know how lovely you are. 

I Just Wanna Be There When The Lightning Strikes

Someday we'll walk the streets of Paris together

Futurama

The agony of thinking that graduation is so very near is inevitable. I'm a junior in college, and no plans on extending beyond the senior year so far. Hopefully. It is only a matter of months before I had to leave all of these college attributes behind and start my baby steps toward what seems to be such a big and broad life. And it is only now, sadly, that I realized the future has left me scared shitless, with no clue or manual handbook whatsoever as to how to survive the wilderness called real life. And this article has beautifully put my thoughts about graduating in a single post. And really, like him, I'm scared. I'm so scared of a lot of things, and not to mention a little feel sorry about myself. Because it is only now that I realized I have missed so many great moments, so many big opportunities that I could've taken. It is only very recently that I found out how short my time in college is, and there will be things and opportunities that I wouldn't be able to do when I'm no longer a student. And I wondered, where have I been? Why was I always too busy doing the things that now seems so small to me? I can't say that I don't regret it, not exactly. I don't regret my choices entirely, but I have to say that, I can hear my heart whispering, "You could've done better, you know?" However, I believe that we are the results of every road we took, every choices we made, and every opportunities we didn't take. Not everyone can have the same story, the same pride, and the same experience, and that these differences shouldn't be an important matter. Life should be enough for me; for you and for everyone. Always wanting to be like someone else, always wishing your life could be different, and always regretting every chances you missed would only put you in greater agony. So here's to a life without a manual book. Here's to a life, where you could only learn to swim after they drowned you in the sea.