2013 in Review

On my side of the story, 2013 was a roller coaster ride. I had fun just as much as I shed my tears. It began with a splendid story; there were people who stayed and people who insisted on living under my radar. And then some of them go, some of them (the most precious ones) decided to stay, and some others were, well... I'm not sure. Of course, it's always easy to write about ourselves being the centre of the universe, being the victim of the situation. But the truth is, I am not afraid to say that I, too, have been written off from someone else's story and that's not entirely their fault.

But this year, I learned a lot about love. About fear. About my relationship with other people. It's true what they say, you can only help someone who wants to be helped. You have to love yourself. Don't spend your time helping people who don't wanna be helped. And don't just sit there wishing people would save you, because you are not the helpless citizen of Gotham City and people are not Batman.

Today might be a little early to start a review. But I will soon be flying west and this might be the last time in 2013 that I will be able to write here, so I'm going to give it a go. This journey might be a very necessary one, because by the time I got back, it would've been 2014. I hope the good things await you, and the bad things you will leave behind. I can only promise you one thing: this journey is going to make me come back as a different person. A better one, I hope, but if I don't, please always refer me back to this post where I promise you that. Please remind me that change could mean for the better, not just for worse. I would love to hear that from you.

So, without further ado, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone.

your editor-in-chief

Inspired by True Stories

Someone asked me very recently about my writing. They asked about the muse behind some posts I've written before, and whether there's only one muse behind all of the sad love posts or if some were about someone and some were about others.

I have to say that I've been inconsistent about who my muse was. It's not always about me; plenty of times it's someone else's story. They're definitely the people I know or met somewhere, they're real; but my brain is so fond of constantly making scripts that never happened in real life so I decided to write some of them here. But I do have one muse who was always behind my most favourite posts, and I called him by the name mathlete. 

I Will Wait

...might be the three most agonizing words known to human.

Because, who knows? Those who said it could really wait and cause themselves a lot of pain for the rewards they're after. Or, it could kill those who hear it because despite what they heard, when they open their door, or heart, or whatever it is, no one would be there. 

Detached

Apparently, that's the wrong response.

If I could see your face once more

Something strange happened today, and I thought you were behind all of it, which is, of course, very stupid. It's too unlikely. It couldn't be you, could it? Even after all these years, you still have that power over me. That power to make me think that the whole universe is in a long-term conspiracy to bring you back to me someday. Everyone says that I deserve my own fairy tale; but I deserve the truth too, and this is me facing it. Holding on to it. Because someday I will have no memory of it; of you. Someday, you, who was once a reality, will become an idea. A perfect (though romanticised) idea, that the world was once a good place to live in. And then it stroke me: you'll never be able to keep in touch with me again. I've lost that email; lost that one, single, unforgettable email you sent me some time after that. You couldn't ever find a way to talk to me again even if you want to someday; even if the lightning struck you and you lost your consciousness and woke up with some completely bizarre idea to call me. You can't. And I can't. So it's time to let it all go. 

Come Back and Haunt Me

Things to be excited about in December:

• New Year's Eve
• Christmas Day (and Eve, for that matter)
• The Christmas song they play everywhere. Some are religious, some are just plain fun.
• The movies they play around Christmas
• The almost constant rainy days (because they remind me so much of London)
• The snow (only if you live the in the Northern Hemisphere)
• Summer holiday! (granted, only for the Southern Hemisphere)
• Deadlines. So many to catch, so many excitement awaits when you prevail!
• End of the year sale.
• Prolonged family exposure (actually, it depends on the way you view your family)
• Even less family exposure (if you work in accounting and other fields that require to work extra at year end)
• Starbucks's famous red cups 
• Cheesy holiday movies (Cheers for 10YearsActually!)
• It always seems to be the perfect weather to listen to Coldplay. Because they're the perfect music to just feel naturally happy and sad at the same time. Or maybe that's just me, but they are.