When Things Started To Scare You Off

So, you know what guys, today was sooooo much fun with my pals BUT it was pretty exhausting at first. This reminds me that exhaustion might taste the sweetest even when you think you're screwed. To start this off, I'm saying that today was free day from school and so as if it was planned long before, some of my friends who are joined in an organisation is going abroad to the US today. It's US. US. It's like, half of this mother earth away from here and they might or might not come back here. we are not afraid that they won't come back because of course they would, either it's in a month, a year or ten more years to come, but rather we're afraid that changes would come and so we can't be friends anymore.

I'm going to lose a lot of friends this year just for one reason: they're moving on with their lives. You know, it's not a good feeling; letting go of people you care about or at least you used to. I don't know how to say this but they are clearly pretty amazing people; I mean my friends who are going.

At the airport, I met Andri. she was there for her friend who is also departing with the same organisation as my friends and I remembered that she's also leaving later this month. My first thought of it was, "Hell, I thought it's gonna be the last friends leaving, in fact she's still in the queue." I know that this is what things are gonna be like next year, because im a high school senior and we'll definitely find our own ways together, and each of it with different pathways. I always thought that life wouldn't be that bad even if it happens but truth is, it's not happening yet and it feels hard already. Because it's not that easy to keep saying, "well, we're friends" because let's face it, I've been there before: losing my best friends. I've been there several times before and though I might don't feel anything in fact that's my own loss. and I am not going to make the same mistake again.

Is this a warm up?

(okay, I'm blabbing again I'm sorry)