I worry the most about myself when I can’t write a damn single thing.

Because mostly what it means is that I’ve lost all feeling in everything.

source

My thoughts are so offensive it needs rehab

I feel so dope. Dope, dope, dope and emo. I'm listening to Damien Rice just to calm myself down in this cold night. I feel so dope because I get scared a lot. Because I have so much fear in me, it's crazy. I have so much fears that's been ruling my life. I still can't believe of things like "You can't make everyone happy" because I still try to. I can't just write down whatever it is I'm feeling like writing, very unlike this friend of mine. I still believe that we can't just dance like no one's watching, because I know people watch, I know people judge, and it's scary how people do it. Haters gonna hate, and I don't know if anyone ever bother hating me, but I know they'd judge. That's the only thing I know. And many times, people judge way too fast, they judge things they don't really know, they judge things without even bother looking at the big picture. I don't know how many more times I have to bore you by saying how afraid I am of what people think of my writings. I tweet less and less if someone don't tweet me. I delete my tweets even before sending them because I was afraid someone will be hurt, someone will misunderstood. I don't like confrontation. If I could I'd just avoid every provocation or anything like that. I do hate things and people--I have to admit it, I'm done acting saint or sinner, I quit pretending--but to be confronted is just not my style. I don't know when I'm going to realize that none of it matters. I guess it's easier to say that I'm just insecure, and my insecurity overwhelms me. I don't know when I'm going to realize that it's just me being a teenager, that it's only love and hatred and misunderstandings, that there are bigger things out there than just fitting in. That fitting in is a utopia. That in the end, you just want to stand up and be memorable. Enough with fishes in the sea. It's time we get a cat out of a sea. For now, I'll just let Whitey Durham saved me.

"Most of the time the greatest rewards come from doing the things that scare you the most." ~Whitey Durham, One Tree Hill

Words Cannot Hurt Me

If I really had to pick ONE good stuff about Eclipse

When we were five, they asked us what we wanted to be when we grew up. Our answers were things like astronaut, president, or in my case, a princess. When we were ten, they asked again. We answered rock star, cowboy, or in my case, gold medalist. But now that we’ve grown up, they want a serious answer. Well, how about this: who the hell knows? This isn’t the time to make hard and fast decisions, this is the time to make mistakes. Take the wrong train and get stuck somewhere. Fall in love… a lot. Major in philosophy, cause there’s no way to make a career out of that. Change your mind and change itagain, because nothing’s permanent. So make as many mistakes as you can. That way, someday, when they ask again what we want to be, we won’t have to guess. We’ll know.

Jessica Stanley, Eclipse.

Oh boy, look at you, el nino

Jon Kortajarena in A Single Man, played a male hustler that George Falconer refused.

Look at that face, jaw, cheekbones, piercing stares.... everything!