My thoughts are so offensive it needs rehab

I feel so dope. Dope, dope, dope and emo. I'm listening to Damien Rice just to calm myself down in this cold night. I feel so dope because I get scared a lot. Because I have so much fear in me, it's crazy. I have so much fears that's been ruling my life. I still can't believe of things like "You can't make everyone happy" because I still try to. I can't just write down whatever it is I'm feeling like writing, very unlike this friend of mine. I still believe that we can't just dance like no one's watching, because I know people watch, I know people judge, and it's scary how people do it. Haters gonna hate, and I don't know if anyone ever bother hating me, but I know they'd judge. That's the only thing I know. And many times, people judge way too fast, they judge things they don't really know, they judge things without even bother looking at the big picture. I don't know how many more times I have to bore you by saying how afraid I am of what people think of my writings. I tweet less and less if someone don't tweet me. I delete my tweets even before sending them because I was afraid someone will be hurt, someone will misunderstood. I don't like confrontation. If I could I'd just avoid every provocation or anything like that. I do hate things and people--I have to admit it, I'm done acting saint or sinner, I quit pretending--but to be confronted is just not my style. I don't know when I'm going to realize that none of it matters. I guess it's easier to say that I'm just insecure, and my insecurity overwhelms me. I don't know when I'm going to realize that it's just me being a teenager, that it's only love and hatred and misunderstandings, that there are bigger things out there than just fitting in. That fitting in is a utopia. That in the end, you just want to stand up and be memorable. Enough with fishes in the sea. It's time we get a cat out of a sea. For now, I'll just let Whitey Durham saved me.

"Most of the time the greatest rewards come from doing the things that scare you the most." ~Whitey Durham, One Tree Hill