I Say A Little Prayer For Me

I wish I could deny myself the fact that we are the choices that we made. I wish I could say that, no, we are not defined by them. Those decisions cannot define me, because they are only occasionally made, sometimes I can be right or wrong, and I shouldn't be defined by who I am at a one-time occasion. But the truth is, I can't. I can't deny the fact that sometimes I'm right and sometimes I'm not, and that sometimes I'm stupid, sometimes I'm smart. My life cannot be defined just by the smart decisions, because a smart life isn't about a life so full of good decisions. A smart life should be a life where I know how to live with myself, and have a good sleep at night, knowing that I've done myself enough good to the me who keeps on feeding and feeling my emotions.

The truth is, we are the result of the choices we made. You wouldn't be sitting on that desk on your hopelessly dull office if you decided not to come to the interview several months ago. You wouldn't have a purple hair if you didn't tell your colourist to do so. The truth is, bitter as it seems, you are responsible for your own (un)happiness. It's not always destiny playing dice on you, no. Sometimes it's you sabotaging your way into happiness, and nobody else is to blame for it. You can be manipulative to yourself, you know? Sometimes I lie to myself in more times than I am being honest, and if that wasn't a depressing enough fact, I don't know what is.

Being true to yourself will set you free. It will give you a good night sleep. It will send you to a nirvana of sweet dreams. It will give you the chance to make friends with yourself. Isn't that nice to hear? To know that you haven't ruined your life beyond repair?