I promise you, this is the last time I'm being gloomy

I'm outta bed now and yes it feels soooooooooooooooooooooooooo daaammmmnnnnnnnnnn goooooooodddddddd. Thank God. Almost 1 month straight feeling so sick, now I finally walk normally again! I might still have to do my habit, like, I have my meal schedule and it can't be late or my stomach will "SCRRRREEEAAAAMMMMM" again. That was not funny, haha yeah, but I'm allowed, this is my page anyway.

I don't know, I... maybe because I'm just lying on my bed all day while staring at the clock ticking, I get to think about a lot of things. You know what, gue sempet marah sama Tuhan. gue sempet keseeeeel banget, gue sempet nyalahin keadaan (karena gue ga berani nyalahin Tuhan) kenapa gue mesti sakit pas UAN? Can't He choose another momentless time?????????? Dan kenapa juga tepat setelah UAN, ada ratusan ujian lainnya yang mengharuskan gue bangun dari bed rest gue? Dari yang harusnya 2 minggu, gue cuma istirahat 4 hari, dan mungkin itu yang bikin pemulihan gue lebih lama. Terus, I don't know, you might think this is so lame, but I heard it on the radio my mum was listening to once upon a night, and this inspiring journalist from TV, Andy F Noya, was speaking. He told his life stories and his life change. Dia bilang, satu hal yang paling mengubah hidupnya adalah waktu dia belajar tentang keikhlasan. Karena disaat kita bingung harus kemana di belantara kehidupan ini, atau mungkin saat kita marah sama Tuhan (this is so touching) kalau kita mau ikhlas, kita bakal menemukan jalan, dan menurutnya, that behaviour is what's gonna get us through this life. Because we really, really, really have no idea what life has in store for us. And like Gossip Girl said, just in time when you think you've seen it all, life can still surprises you.  

While I was at my worst, my mum told me that maybe this illness is a gift, mungkin ini bukan sepenuhnya cobaan atau hukuman. I look at her and there's sadness, regrets and tiredness from working while being my nurse. She lost some weight by taking care of me, cuz I was practically a huge baby. I was a huge mess. But she always remind me that there are people out there with worse condition than I am, so she always wants me to be grateful, though I honestly thought I could be better.

Well, she was right. One night, my uncle rang my dad. Take this note from the expert, guys: When someone in your family, who don't necessarily call you daily, suddenly call you in the night or very early in the morning, be prepared. JUST BE PREPARED. So, my father's cousin died. We live not that far from her, but we're not close. Tapi..... beliau udah membusuk. Tetangganya nemuin beliau sekitar jam 6 sore lewat atapnya karena curiga lampu depannya sudah 2 hari nyala terus dan begitu di dobrak, baunya busuk. akhirnya mereka telpon polisi, terus telpon ke radio. Who knows, ternyata nyokap dan bokap gue dengerin waktu ada telpon di radio itu tapi karena ga disebut nama korbannya mereka nggak sadar.

See? Life can still surprises you.