They can't take what's ours

I can't believe that today, well, it's 1 in the morning, so let's just say tomorrow, will be the last chance that I will ever claim you someone I know, someone I can claim as somehow related to me. I don't know why I can't sleep or think straight, I can't read my textbooks without thinking about how big tomorrow will be. I know I shouldn't. Learning from past experiences, the days that I expected the most will be the most anticlimactic day ever. But I just can't help it. Anyway, I never learn. That's just one thing you gotta know about me. You know what, it took me a very long time to realize that it might real. I was always in denial; and I'm getting even better at it. It's not healthy, but that's what I do. I'm in denial even when I don't need to. I've got a really good self-defense, that I just simply don't let things happen to me. But for you, I let my guard down. It's too late, but... this is the only thing I can do. My only regret is not because it's too late. My only regret is that I couldn't find out from much earlier, while there was still plenty of time. Now the time is running out, and I still can't find a way to do it, and... it's all useless. I don't know why I always do this. I don't know why it was always someone who has to go. But that's my issue, so you don't really have to mind. But really, there's only one thing you need to know: I do, and I did have the courage but my another issue is that my self-defense always get in the way. I feel sorry for myself that there are days when I woke up in the morning and I just thought of something, and I trusted them too much. I didn't think that maybe it was a half-conscious mind speaking, and I was stupid for believing in it. I know you're not gonna read this, but I hope someday you will be able to know that I do, and I was stupid, and I regret it. I wish you well. I wish you well. I hope it's not our farewell.

"Dexter, I love you so much. So, so much, and I probably always will. I just don't like you anymore. I'm sorry."

— David Nicholls