When was the last time?

I don't believe in "you just know."

What an awful answer that is. "How do you know?" "You just know."

My problem with that is: You never actually know. You could be wrong. Or, you could be right that you do know, but somehow it's not reciprocated.

I don't believe in "soulmate."

It's just a lazy word for explaining how things just work, how compatible they are, and how two people can see themselves willing to tolerate each other.

My problem with that is: If there are soulmates in this life, mine should have been you. But I don't think that we'll ever get any closer than that.

I don't think that we'll ever look at each other in the eye and feel equally relieved that, against all odds, we found each other.

And I don't know, do I? All I know is that I can't remember the last time I looked at someone and thought to myself, will you just look at him?

Because, God.

Your warm smile.

Your intoxicating laugh.

Your sense of humour.

Your mild sarcasm.

Your soothing voice.

Your eyes. On me.

. . .

If there was ever such a thing as soulmate, and how you know that is "you just know" ... Then you are mine. You should be mine. Because I just know.

But you're not, are you?

Myth

I feel like men are more romantic than women.  When we get married we marry one girl. Cause we’re resistent the whole way, until we meet one girl and we think: “I’d be an idiot if I didn’t marry this girl she’s so great.” But it seems like girls get to a place where they just kinda pick the best option or something. I know girls that married they’re like: “Oh he’s got a good job.” I mean, they spend their whole life looking for Prince Charming and then they marry the guy who’s got a good job and is gonna stick around.

When we were little, we were told all these fairy tales of how a beautiful, kind and pure girl would fall in love with a handsome, rich prince charming who owns a castle and they will live happily ever after in a faraway land. But not only do happily ever afters don't exist, so is the kind of story they keep telling us as bedtime stories.

In real life, there is only very few people would fall in love with someone's voice the way Phillip fell for Aurora. No one is going to have the kind of love at first sight Marius had with Cosette. And there are so many other beautiful ways about falling in love that movies and fairy tales tried to make us believe, but they're ridiculously impractical to the point of them almost being completely impossible.

Very recently, I had an epiphany. Maybe there's no love. Maybe people get married out of the commitment to build a life, a traditions our ancestors did to sustain human life, and that alone is the reason why there's marriage in this world. Maybe people don't fall in love; they fall in logic or whatever it is that drives them toward someone. Some people like money, fancy cars, bright future, career, social status, or someone's lifestyle... And maybe they are the things that make marriages more sustainable. Because only very few people fall in love with the right person. But the definition of right will always change to suit someone's perception of life. So I guess it's something other than love that takes people to get married.

My view in marriage is somewhat very... modern, I suppose? That's what Before Midnight say anyway. I believe that every couples have an expiration, because love does. Only very, very few people found someone that they can fall in love with every day for the rest of their lives. And those who didn't, well... They live out of commitments. Marriage is a vow people say in the name of God and in front of God, and therefore it is a very sacred institution that should never be broken with words such as, "I fall out of love with him."

By that definition, I think that maybe we marry someone who has the same vision with us; the same commitment, i.e. someone whose actions and missions are tolerable and in harmony with ours, and whom we will never run out of patience with. I grew up with the belief that love isn't the holy grail of relationships; it's commitment. Someone said to me a few years ago something the 18-year-old me had never thought of: "Commitment is a very big thing, you know? You graduate school, you take a decent job, you marry someone you like, and that's what you're gonna end up with forever. A job that you must do every day; the same person you're gonna wake up to every morning for the rest of your life; the same house you're gonna go home to every day; children you have to feed and educate and has the needs you have to fulfill... It's a grand job, you know? And you have to do it every single day of your life. You have no other choice. That is a commitment. You think commitment is easy?"

I know, it's such a morose essay and my last post before this one is an optimistic quote to remind us all that sometimes, life does imitate Disney movies. And while it is your life to live it any way you want to, with the kind of buoyancy my last post gave you, or the grimy truth I just told you, I want you to always keep in mind that after all... It's your life. No one has the same story. Just because you have a good life doesn't mean someone else does, and vice versa. So maybe the best that we can do is still to believe that if we are good, we deserve good things too. And if they're not here yet, maybe the package just come in late. 

They can't take what's ours

I can't believe that today, well, it's 1 in the morning, so let's just say tomorrow, will be the last chance that I will ever claim you someone I know, someone I can claim as somehow related to me. I don't know why I can't sleep or think straight, I can't read my textbooks without thinking about how big tomorrow will be. I know I shouldn't. Learning from past experiences, the days that I expected the most will be the most anticlimactic day ever. But I just can't help it. Anyway, I never learn. That's just one thing you gotta know about me. You know what, it took me a very long time to realize that it might real. I was always in denial; and I'm getting even better at it. It's not healthy, but that's what I do. I'm in denial even when I don't need to. I've got a really good self-defense, that I just simply don't let things happen to me. But for you, I let my guard down. It's too late, but... this is the only thing I can do. My only regret is not because it's too late. My only regret is that I couldn't find out from much earlier, while there was still plenty of time. Now the time is running out, and I still can't find a way to do it, and... it's all useless. I don't know why I always do this. I don't know why it was always someone who has to go. But that's my issue, so you don't really have to mind. But really, there's only one thing you need to know: I do, and I did have the courage but my another issue is that my self-defense always get in the way. I feel sorry for myself that there are days when I woke up in the morning and I just thought of something, and I trusted them too much. I didn't think that maybe it was a half-conscious mind speaking, and I was stupid for believing in it. I know you're not gonna read this, but I hope someday you will be able to know that I do, and I was stupid, and I regret it. I wish you well. I wish you well. I hope it's not our farewell.

"Dexter, I love you so much. So, so much, and I probably always will. I just don't like you anymore. I'm sorry."

— David Nicholls

Mr. & Mrs. Sawyer

Promise me that when you pick the boy you’re really gonna be with that he’ll be someone who respects you, and treats you well. And it’s someone who makes your heart race. And that he’s someone that you love because of what he is and not what he does. Because that’s how I felt about your mother. And that’s how I want you to feel one day. Use your head, and follow your heart.— Larry Sawyer

Every girl needs to listen to Papa Sawyer :')

The Waltz Only A Queen Deserves

Above: Jonathan Safran Foer's Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close; Below: Nicole Krauss' The History of Love

I would like to marry a writer someday. I don't care even though they write an article about never date a writer. I would like someone who's literate, someone who can just sit on the sofa with me side to side reading each of our own books while a slow, classic music was playing, like what George Falconer do with his boyfriend Jim in A Single Man. But most of all, I would like my name to be the only one written on the first page of his book, where he'd show off his dedication and love for me to the world by writing such short words. To me, it would be like carving your lover's name on a rock, or make it a tattoo on your body; it's a full dedication and it's really romantic without being creepy or freaky. I wanna be able to do exactly what Foer and Krauss do to each other. I don't care if wanting my name to be written there is selfish. I think it's really sweet, much to the fact that Foer is a romantic himself. If you are so curious, Foer wrote an essay in a book called A Convergence of Birds that became my inspiration for one of my old posts Teenage Dream. Below, you can read the origin of the art museum meeting idea.

Legally 18

Thank you for your really kind and funny wishes! I never knew I was blessed with such lovable and funny and cool friends all surrounding me with warm love. Thank you for you really warm tweets(and retweets) and texts and Facebook walls. Thank you strangers who don't know me well enough but still bother to say happy birthday. Thank you my dearest family for your sweet presents. Special thanks to Winandya Almira for the HIGHlarious series of edited photos of Jon Kortajarena. Thank you everyone who cares. I can't thank you enough. I'm turning legal and I'm happy :)

I like love

When you take care of me during my sick days, and you keep on saying that I will get better when I can't see it at all, and when you keep telling me that there's more to learn from what I can see today, and that it happened for a reason, "You'll be okay, I promise. I love you, and I'll love you more when you get better."

When I almost give up, and I think no good news is coming to me, and I know I'll be alright, and I was making myself sure that it's okay to fail, you tell me "You can do it. I know you can do it, and you'll nail it. You're more than you think you are. I love you."

When I get home being a terrible kid and I get mad at everybody and I show no mercy, it was because I'm angry. I'm angry because what I miss the most is the idea of home, the home I knew when I was 6 or 7, when everyone wasn't this old, wasn't this smart, wasn't this busy. I never miss what I actually see. And you always, always told me "What gets you so upset? Is it somebody at school? Is it something that bothers you night and day? What can I do for you?"

When you ask me that, I really just wanna give an answer to you, but I never have the heart to actually do it. "Love me less. Expect less from me."

You, it was always you

on the train this morning

I looked outside the window, wishing it was a Eurostar ride toParis

wishing I was going to meet you at Rive Gauche

wishing when I take off the train, it was Gare du Nord

and you were waiting for me outside, and it was warm and sunny

with a look that you gave one last time when your friend called me by my stupid nickname

your smile is the only thing that I could remember the best

I wanna take a stroll in Paris with you along the Seine

I wanna drink in Montmartre and be the millionth lover Eiffel has ever witnessed

Shiny Toy Guns's Seasons of Love is playing in the background

I wanna walk the streets in Paris with you and do this beautiful thing

dépaysement

and if you ask me who was I thinking to do it all with me?

you

it was always you

I can't believe it's still the same person after all this time

I need to understand that can't waste my time always wishing I was somewhere else.

In this dream I'm dancing right beside you

I was shooting a scene in my new film, No Strings Attached, in which I say to Natalie Portman,

“If you miss me. you can’t text, you can’t email, you can’t post it on my Facebook wall. If you really miss me, you come and see me.”

I began to think of all of the billions of intimate exchanges sent daily via fingers and screens, bouncing between satellites and servers. With all this texting, emailing, and social networking, I started wondering, are we all becoming so in touch with one another that we are in danger of losing touch?

It used to be that boy met girl and they exchanged phone numbers. Anticipation built. They imagined the entire relationship before a call ever happened. The phone rang. Hearts pounded. “Hello?” Followed by a conversation that lasted two hours but felt like two minutes and would be examined with friends for two weeks. If all went well, a date was arranged. That was then.

Now we exchange numbers but text instead of calling because it mitigates the risks of early failure and eliminates those deafening moments of silence. Now anticipation builds. Bdoop. “It was NICE meeting u” Both sides overanalyze every word. We talk to a friend, an impromptu Cyrano: “He wrote nice in all caps. What does that mean? What do I write back?” Then we write a response and delete it 10 times before sending a message that will appear 2 care, but not 2 much. If all goes well, a date will be arranged.

Whether you like it or not, the digital age has produced a new format for modern romance, and natural selection may be favoring the quick-thumbed quip peddler over the confident, ice-breaking alpha male. Or maybe we are hiding behind the cloak of digital text and spell-check to present superior versions of ourselves while using these less intimate forms of communication to accelerate the courting process. So what’s it really good for?

There is some argument about who actually invented text messaging, but I think it’s safe to say it was a man. Multiple studies have shown that the average man uses about half as many words per day as women, thus text messaging. It eliminates hellos and goodbyes and cuts right to the chase. Now, if that’s not male behavior, I don’t know what is. It’s also great for passing notes. there is something fun about sharing secrets with your date while in the company of others. think of texting as a modern whisper in your lover’s car.

Sending sweet nothings on Twitter or Facebook is also fun. in some ways, it’s no different than sending flowers to the office: You are declaring your love for everyone to see. Who doesn’t like to be publicly adored. Just remember that what you post is out there and there’s some stuff you can’t un-see.

But the reality is that we communicate with every part of our being, and there are times when we must use it all. When someone needs us, he or she needs all of us. There’s no text that can replace a loving touch when someone we love is hurting.

We haven’t lost romance in the digital age, but we may be neglecting it. In doing so, antiquated art forms are taking on new importance. The power of a hand-written letter is greater than ever. It’s personal and deliberate means more than an email or text ever will. It has a unique scent. It requires deciphering. But, most important, it’s flawed There are errors in handwriting, punctuation, grammar, and spelling that show our vulnerability. And vulnerability is the essence of romance. It’s the art of being uncalculated, the willingness to look foolish, the courage to say, “This is me, and I’m interested in you enough to show you my flaws with the hope that you may embrace me for all that I am but, more importantly, all that I am not.”

- Ashton Kutcher

This may makes you think.

source

Teenage Dream

4 years from now, when I'm done with my masters degree from LSE, I'm gonna stay in London, spend my spare times watching plays or alone in galleries or museums all around the town or maybe simply working at a small vinyl store in Notting Hill. I'm gonna travel to Paris at holidays and visit art museums. And then there I met you, standing right next to me, staring at the same painting and talk about it over coffees in a small café or cheap champagne in the banks of Seine River. In 24 hours, we'd decided to fall in love.

But maybe you never exist.

Normally, I would post something like this on Tumblr. But since it's been down since yesterday (they say minutes but they mean hours, or probably days) I'm posting it here. It's actually inspired by another post by Ratih, here.

Rusty Kitty

First thing first.

Russell Brand is the very messy type of guy whom in your first sight of him would think he puts a different girl in a cab every other day and will never, ever settle down for a marriage.

Truth is, he did. I mean, they did.

Well, I didn't really like Russell or Katy. I thought he's too messy and she's too Lady GaGa. But once they coupled up and see what happens? This is what I think love should be: it makes each of the lovers be a better version of who they are. They look so much better together than apart, and life is such a fairytale if you look at it through them.

I imagine Russell isn't always the funny guy we know him to be, maybe the rumours were true; with Katy, he seeks for God and became spiritual and matured up and then finally ready for marriage.

Two things from the last picture. 1) A love like these two share, and 2) That Chanel bag. Please.

oh, one bonus picture! If you go to the same college as me and knows something, you'll probably smile :)

I hope

I hope that some day, you find an amazing girl. The kind of girl who means everything to you and makes you want to spend every moment of your time with her. The kind of girl who keeps you up at night, just thinking about her beautiful smile, and when you finally fall asleep, she’s all you dream about. I hope she’s the first thing to cross your mind when you wake up in the morning. I hope she changes you in a way you could never understand, yet you know it`s for the better. I hope she’s the kind of girl you would die for. The kind of girl who could make you cry, even though you’d never admit it. The kind of girl who makes you want to go out and do something special, something that means everything to the both of you. The kind of girl you can have silly fights with, then kiss and make up and hold her in your arms like you`re falling in love all over again. I hope you make memories with her you never forget. I hope she’s your world, and what you have with her is nothing less than perfection. And I hope that one day, you lose her. I hope you mess up and as hard as you try to keep her there with you, she slips through the cracks of your broken heart. I hope it destroys you, because you realize you’ve lost the person you once called your everything. I hope you see every moment you spent together spin away down the drain like it was waiting to happen. I hope you stay up at night because she’s on your mind and when you fall asleep, she haunts your dreams. I hope her beautiful smile stays pressed in your mind like a scar that won’t fade away. I hope you realize that you’re a new person because of her, I hope your new self feels incomplete without her and you miss the old you. The one that was okay with being alone, because you’d rather be the heartbreaker than the heartbroken.

source

Fallin' in Love?

I don't know :))))))))

I Remember You Well/Perhaps we'll meet again in another life

We miss you, John. We still want you here.

Picture taken by Yoko herself, right after the tragic shoot. Auctioned for 13,000 dollars

I wish Sean a love his father had always have



From John to Yoko:

Interviewer: Why can’t you be alone without Yoko?
John Lennon: But I can be alone without Yoko, but I just have no wish to be. There’s no reason on earth why I should be alone without Yoko. There’s nothing more important than our relationship, nothing. And we dig being together all the time. Both of us could survive apart but what for? I’m not going to sacrifice love, real love for any whore or any friend or any business, because in the end you’re alone at night and neither of us want to be. And you can’t fill a bed with groupies. It doesn’t work. I don’t want to be a swinger. I’ve been through it all and nothing works better than to have someone you love hold you.

Playboy: John's [Lennon's] anger about the way people resented you has certainly come through in this interview. Do you feel the same way about the fan's reactions, Yoko?
Yoko Ono: No. I feel amazed I'm amazed that people can be so concerned about somebody else's life. I mean, what about their own lives?
Playboy: Maybe that's why they're so concerned about somebody else's life-because they can't deal with their own, or their own is simply boring.

From Yoko to John:

December 8, 2007
I miss you, John. 27 years later, I still wish I could turn back the clock to the Summer of 1980. I remember everything - sharing our morning coffee, walking in the park together on a beautiful day, and seeing your hand stretched to mine - holding it, reassuring me that I shouldn't worry about anything because our life was good.I had no idea that life was about to teach me the toughest lesson of all. I learned the intense pain of losing a loved one suddenly, without warning, and without having the time for a final hug and the chance to say, "I love you," for the last time. The pain and shock of that sudden loss is with me every moment of every day. When I touched John's side of our bed on the night of December 8th, 1980, I realized that it was still warm. That moment has haunted me for the past 27 years - and will stay with me forever.Even harder for me is watching what was taken away from our beautiful boy, Sean.He lives in silent anger over not having his Dad, whom he loved so much, around to share his life with. I know we are not alone. Our pain is one shared by many other families who are suffering as the victims of senseless violence. This pain has to stop.Let's not waste the lives of those we have lost. Let's, together, make the world a place of love and joy and not a place of fear and anger. This day of John's passing has become more and more important for so many people around the world as the day to remember his message of Peace and Love and to do what each of us can to work on healing this planet we cherish. Let's: Think Peace, Act Peace, and Spread Peace. John worked for it all his life. He said, "there's no problem, only solutions." Remember, we are all together. We can do it, we must. I love you!