One of the tragedies of human being is that we don't always possess the words that we need to describe what we have. Like some certain feelings that we don't have the name for. But just because we don't possess the name, doesn't mean it's doesn't exist. It's there, staying in your heart during your sleepless nights, your darkest hours, the days when you feel ugly... It's there. But you just can't name it. I wish we can invent names to our feelings like we can name our drinks. Mix them up and make out some exotic name and let people buy it. But we don't invent our feelings, so we can't name them too. What do you call a mix of pride and sadness and missing someone and happiness, all the while you just feel shattered and you want to cry? Seriously, what?
I remember it was the first day of fasting that someone texted at four in the morning, telling me how powerful 90% of my writing is, and how similarly we can feel about some certain things in life, despite us being old friends. And today, I logged in to this account and that certain someone is, again, writing about me in her most recent post. Almost at the same time, another someone also wrote a new post in her blog, quoting one of my old tweets that, thankfully, wasn't copy-pasted from somewhere else. Now, I know that there's a really big chance that they will be reading this post too, so here's what I'm gonna say:
Thank you. Words have failed me to describe how overwhelmed I am with the good things you still have for me. So let me quote the red-haired Brit cutie Ed Sheeran because he sang, "you turn my cheeks the colour of my hair." Well, his hair, at least. I have never been more flattered than I am today because I have you guys. And, both of you were right. Sometimes I feel sad that we're not as close as we used to be. Sometimes I think it was my fault, because I suck in keeping old friends. But, whether we'd like to realize it or not, let's admit that it's one of the symptoms of growing up: we grow apart. I know we don't have to; some people can actually make it to be friends for life. But let's not feel forced to be like them. Let's... get real. If we can't, let's deal with it, and feel okay about not being able to be like them. Of course I still think about you guys as my best friends, maybe for the rest of forever, if you'd allow me. They say people come and go, and sometimes, whether we realize it or not, we left a mark, and it stays with them forever. You are that people to me. Perhaps you don't even know it yet, but let's stop feeling like you've changed nothing in the world because you changed me. Let's continue to inspire each other. Let there be more and more marks in our lives that one day, when we're telling stories to our grandchildren like Ted Mosby do to his kids, they will be able to visit these landmarks that meant a lot to us. Oh God, I'm almost crying writing this. So, before I go all... nangis bombay here, just let me say it again: Thank you. For everything.
Further reading: A Love Letter to a Friend, Growing Apart from Your Best Friend on Thought Catalog
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