Sunday, March 10, 2019

Time Can Come and Take Away the Pain


I remember when your name popped up on my screen once again. After a long hiatus. After a long, long, silence on your part.

Yes, I knew it did not work out. I knew that I recovered from our long, cold good bye. I knew that you love her--you have, for a very long time by then. I have always known that you are going to marry her eventually. Because, as much as I did not see it coming a few years earlier, I know that you are meant for each other. I know that she offers you everything you have been looking for in a person. Particularly, in a person you are going to spend the rest of your life with.

And I was never that. 

I was fickle. I was detached. I was cold. I was emotionally unavailable. I know, because I am all of that.

And you don't deserve that.

But even that day--that very day when you name appeared on my screen again... I was hoping that you'd remember what we had been through. You would acknowledge what happened. You were aware that that could be us.

And, you were aware. You did acknowledge that. So even though I could never, never ever say it directly to you... Thank you. Thank you for not erasing me. Thank you for not making me feel invisible. Thank you for always, always being the you that I have always known back then.

It has been years and time has come and taken away every single pain I felt when it was over. Thanks to those rough months--those rough, miserable months of trying to get over you, I learned how to treat the pain. How to heal and mend the broken heart and fix whatever is damaged... in private. By myself (and a little help from my friends).

Thanks to those months, I know I can do this one now. I know I'll get through it.

So thank you. For everything.

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