Sunday, April 24, 2011

The Ballad of Paul and Linda

This is a total heartbreak for my family and I. Linda was, and still is, the love of my life. I am privileged to have been her lover for 30 years, and in all that time, except for one enforced absence, we never spent a single night apart. When people asked why, we would say — “What for?” Our family is so close that her passing has left a huge hole in our lives. We will never get over it, but I think we will come to accept it. In the end, she went quickly with very little discomfort, and surrounded by her loved ones. The kids and I were there when she crossed over. They each were able to tell her how much they loved her. Finally, I said to her: “You’re up on your beautiful Appaloosa stallion. It’s a fine spring day. We’re riding through the woods. The bluebells are all out, and the sky is clear blue.” I had barely got to the end of the sentence, when she closed her eyes, and gently slipped away. She was unique and the world is a better place for having known her. Her message of love will live on in our hearts forever. I love you, Linda.

- Paul McCartney’s statement after Linda McCartney’s death on April 17, 1998


I have been known to be forever a lover of John and Yoko, and I have declared that forever they are my hero. But a little look over at Paul and Linda would make anyone who's in the same path as me think twice. Linda was, just like Yoko, in a hard position because even though she was from a rich family living in NYC's Fifth Avenue, daddy a successful Harvard lawyer and art collector, in the spotlight because she was a widower with one daughter and she was American. The Brits don't get it. It was always like that back then, though. You're an idol, you're a lover--people dislike your beloved. When Linda married Paul, she married his fame and rockstar life too. It was only in the recent years people actually love her for who she really is. Read more Paul's writing about Linda here.


"...She loved riding so much. Sometimes she’d get up on her a horse and I’d say: “You don’t want to get down, do you?” She preferred it up there than on the ground."

Legally 18

Thank you for your really kind and funny wishes! I never knew I was blessed with such lovable and funny and cool friends all surrounding me with warm love. Thank you for you really warm tweets(and retweets) and texts and Facebook walls. Thank you strangers who don't know me well enough but still bother to say happy birthday. Thank you my dearest family for your sweet presents. Special thanks to Winandya Almira for the HIGHlarious series of edited photos of Jon Kortajarena. Thank you everyone who cares. I can't thank you enough. I'm turning legal and I'm happy :)







Friday, April 15, 2011

Not everyone is gonna give up on love, and on you

Thank you for reminding me through this typography. Maybe I'm not the one you meant to say it to, but even so, thank you. Thank you.
Thank you for reminding me that you're still the bravest person I know, and that you make me really proud of you. You always do the things I will never be able to do. But most of all, I like how you always fight for your love, no matter what it costs you. You never hide it, and you always come clean. And after all, you open your heart to fall in love like you can fall in love everyday. I find it so hard to fall in love these days, because I've been hurt and all. But you always love like you've never been hurt before, even though like you said, your love life always ends tragic. But you're so brave I could burst into tears just thinking of the courage you have inside of you. I will never be able to hear that the guy I like doesn't like me back. I will never be able to tell him that I like him, and that I just wanna tell him that without being hopeful. I don't know how many times exactly love has disappointed you, and guys have let you down, but you never give up on love. You never, ever give up. You always believe in it. Heroes are the believers. The believers who believe in the things other people don't, and they can do what you can't do. In a way, you're my hero. And I thank you for that.


I like love


When you take care of me during my sick days, and you keep on saying that I will get better when I can't see it at all, and when you keep telling me that there's more to learn from what I can see today, and that it happened for a reason, "You'll be okay, I promise. I love you, and I'll love you more when you get better."
When I almost give up, and I think no good news is coming to me, and I know I'll be alright, and I was making myself sure that it's okay to fail, you tell me "You can do it. I know you can do it, and you'll nail it. You're more than you think you are. I love you."
When I get home being a terrible kid and I get mad at everybody and I show no mercy, it was because I'm angry. I'm angry because what I miss the most is the idea of home, the home I knew when I was 6 or 7, when everyone wasn't this old, wasn't this smart, wasn't this busy. I never miss what I actually see. And you always, always told me "What gets you so upset? Is it somebody at school? Is it something that bothers you night and day? What can I do for you?"
When you ask me that, I really just wanna give an answer to you, but I never have the heart to actually do it. "Love me less. Expect less from me."