So fucking jobless

1. I'm not gonna talk about this number. You wouldn't wanna hear a story of someone who can't even remember the last time her parents kissed her, right?

2. One year ago, I was a happier kid than I am today. I have a memory gap of what I was doing one year ago, sorry.

3. Single, and living it wondering if I was ready for a real one.

4. In five years, I will be living alone with a Master degree and with a job so busy I wouldn't have time thinking that I ever had this blog, until forty years later, my grandchildren would find it on Google and read how crazy their grandmother was once upon time.

5. My current goals is to accomplish all the work that I signed up for, to have the power and the strength to do it all without breaking my bones.

6. I'm not proud of the dramas in my life. I keep telling drama queens to STFU while I have a whole bunch of dramas I need to keep for myself.

7. Probably when I saw Coldplay live for the first time. Or when I was introduced to mathlete. Or the day when I last saw him and his smile. Or the day I first landed in Paris. I don't know, let me think about it.

8. Definitely the day when my grandmother and my uncle passed away in less than 24 hours gap. It was devastating. Crying wouldn't even be a solution.

9. I have some close friends. There are a few. But honestly I don't know if they'd think of me as their close friend, but I hope they think as same way I do.

10. Right now, I wanna change the way I think towards everything in life. I do think that I need to be less dramatic and more realistic. The world's a stage, but a good act is one that makes people think it wasn't an act.

11. I think what I'm doing with my life right now is a bit like shaping, building something abstract that I don't know the name of, but at the same time it feels like I'm breaking every piece of little bones in me.

12. Typhus. It sucked big time. It changed almost everything. Heck, maybe everything, really.

13. I'm proud of my friends, my mom, my dad... Most of the time I'm proud of my ability to be alone and not finding it painful to be.

14. I don't know, really. I don't think I have any. But if there's something, it's probably a bracelet I got from my high school best friend when I turned 16. Somehow it just meant a lot to me.

15. My Macbook. Okay, fair enough I didn't buy it, it was my mom. Some pairs of shoes, maybe.

16. He's 20..... Almost.

17. There was this teddy bear that was so old and crummy but I loved so much. Of course, like every other things, it's gone now.

18. I was good in English. And German. And not much else.

19. Maybe a white t-shirt that's so summer-y and I bought it myself a long time ago.

20. Okay, that's it. I was just bored. Sorry for boring you. Kisses and hugs