It's kind of a funny story, something about being cared and loved deeply by people who actually give a shit about you. It's one of those times when you feel ungrateful because you can't help but being scared by the things that you are actually very lucky to have. It's a shame, but you can't help it. You wish you can, but you can't.
It's also really funny, I guess, when things, even some really good ones, got big, it could scare the hell out of you. Just like cancer, and expectations, and doubt, when the love gets too big, it kills you. I have heard how people tell us not to let the bitter things get the best of you, but what if it's the sweet things that got too big, and we're still scared? Is it possible that maybe, well just maybe, the fault is upon us? That there's something wrong with us, and it's only later will we realize that we're such terrible human being?
There's always more than one perspective to view love. Perhaps there's even a way to look at it from a bird's view. Remember that yes, you've got your heart broken once, or perhaps more. You've loved in silence, in pain and in vain. But chances are, someone else have been in that position too, and that's for you. Maybe you never realized how you've been a heartbreaker, how you've hurt some people without even realizing it. And you probably have no idea how many people have called you a jerk, or a bitch, because you have unconsciously caused the pain in their lives.
You have no idea how big of an impact you could've made for some people. You can a big part of someone else's life, and not even know it. You can say all you want about not wanting to be found, about not wanting to fall in love and be in pain. Bu you can't stop people from loving you, just like you've insisted on loving someone who has no idea kf your existence. You can't stop people from trying to win you over everyone else. And you can't tell them how much you wished they could've loved you less.
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