It is not until you got to stay up at 3am all by yourself that you realise how much of your world was fucked up. That you end up regretting 80% of the things your say or do during the day, and that all your sadness, your despair and your desperation, though overwhelming, is never truly unprecedented. Someone somewhere has been there in your position. Someone somewhere has grown out of it, and so you would (and should) too. It was not until the clock reaches 4am that you realise that solitude is a luxury; you don't get much of that these days, when in fact it is only in those few solitary moments should you be thinking about yourself and not much else. It is only then, when you allow yourself to think of even the things you wouldn't let yourself think during the day: that you don't wanna be here. you wanna be somewhere else. you wish you were with someone else. you wish your choices had been different. you wanna be outside of it all. you think everyone is liar. you think your life is lousy. you think your happiness is simply a byproduct of your manufactured mind. you wish your life was different. you wish it's something you can be proud of. you wish you can look around and point to someone whose life you'd wanna have.
But all of that are the things your mind made up when you were in solitude. They don't last. When the sun rises, you are you again. The precedented you. The you, that may not be the honestly you, but are you nonetheless.
never stop writing, you. never.
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