That's what subconscious minds do, you know?
They screw you, fuck with your mind, and there's not much that you can do about it.
Sure, you can fight it. You can choose to fight it, making it your personal battle to win. But even if you came out the victor; even if you managed to go past what it made you think, you're never going to stop having that battle.
You're still going to get bad dreams; nightmares that don't make sense to you because you think your life is good and anything better than this would be just overwhelming. You're still going to wake up one day, or at least just struck by an epiphany that maybe, what you are, is that you are scared. You have been, and you didn't even know that.
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