Tahiti 8

I have always loved unicorns. When I was younger, I pictured it as a this majestic creature that's pure white, the holy hybrid of a beautiful horse and bird and some animal with horns (I'm not really good with animals, I can tell you that). It was only later that I realised unicorns are mythical. They don't exist. They only exist in this world because people love myths. People love the idea of them. But they were never really part of this world. Not a chance.

In my teenage years, I met you. You, who's so out of this world and too good to be part of it. All of a sudden, you are the epitome of unicorns to me. You are a unicorn. My unicorn. Actually, scratch that; because you never belong to me, and were never mine to begin with.

It's not love, is it? Because if I love you, I should be picturing myself standing at the altar, vowing to stick with each other through sickness and health, 'till death do us part, right? If I love you, I should have the drive to do something, to make do of the little time we have together. If I love you, those sights we so insistently exchanged should lead into something else rather just 'oh, that made my day'. If I love you, I should know better than to prepare myself to let you go again.

Because maybe this time, there ain't no big ceremony with loud music and hymns and chimes to remark the last time I could be standing next to you.

Because the way it did back then, I got by with a little help from my friend. And I think I've gotten rid of said friend the way I should've gotten rid of my memories of you from the first place.

If you ask me, it's pretty weird. Why here? Why now? Why you? Why me? What were the odds?

So I guess that's life for me. I have so many unanswered questions, but I'm pretty comfortable in not knowing. I know I don't love you, because if I do, it would be so much more complicated. I know that it's only a beautiful coincidence, and it was bound to end one way or another. This is how mean the universe can be to me; I hope this is the universe being extremely nice to you. 

I know that... somewhere along the way, I'm gonna miss you. As I always do. How many people can actually say that, "Oh, it feels familiar, I've been here before." I'm gonna go back to square one and learn how to live my life in a better way (Like I said, I should've gotten rid of my memories of you long before today) 

It's not my life going in reverse... It's my life learning one of its biggest lesson. I don't know if I should be proud that you're one part of it, because you don't even know it. But if there should ever be one person that I can say made a difference in my life (and better yet, he doesn't even it), it's you. And I'm not regretting it.