End of the year SALE! Lol. Just kidding. I mean Reflections.

How would you tell your kids how your 2012 went? Mine would go like this:

Kids, the year 2012 was the year when I turned 19. It was the year of everything One Direction and all that other boybands and annoying Indonesia girlbands. Palestine became a member of the UN, which is surprisingly not bigger than a party in the USA. Obama was elected as president again, and I was overjoyed because that means I would see more and more of Michelle! It was the year of me having so, so much fun. Somehow. I turned 19 in a karaoke room full of really fun people from my mooting team. I met people and became close with them, without ever been friends before. And people, God forbid, they fell in this stupid shit they invent called the Friendzone way too many times, it's so damn confusing! I mean, why? I used to tell them NOT to be like those characters in Gossip Girl or Friends, where they can sleep with their best friend and break up and still talk to them about their new squeeze. They seem heartless and inhumane to me. But screw that. That's one of my biggest regrets this year, because, who am I to tell them that? Love comes to people in all the different fashions. Some people met in a cafe, in a bar, a strip club, and some perhaps in a library, through a friend, so it shouldn't be a sin to marry your best friend, right? And also in this year, there were things that happen through your transition to be a grown up. They were tiring and really bothers you, but they were necessary to make what I have now, happen. Like the broken friendship. The heartache. The love that was so confusing it hurts. The beautiful holidays. All the small obstacles that hit me on the face multiple times, they helped making this year a landmark for me. But another thing that should make me proud is the fact that I survived the overhyped doomsday that turns out to be a hoax. And I like that. I like this year. I want more of something like this, or even better, in 2013.

I've fallen in love with you but you never exist

Hi, who knows we're suddenly at the end of the year again?

A little evaluation, I posted fewer things this year, and I don't know what happened with me, why I didn't spend so much time posting here. I guess it's because I discovered the joy of Tumblr now and decided to categorize what I should publish via Tumblr or Blogspot or maybeTwitter. I've become what they call Tumbltard. But to be honest, some of my best writings are here, so... cheers for that :D

2010, you are my bitch!

I graduated high school this year, the high school I always thought wasn't the place where I belong, but again, maybe the best place I can be. I started going to law school, again, the college I always thought isn't the place where I belong and perhaps that's not going to change until the 3,5 half years to come. I'm so proud of myself because I have survived so many places where I don't belong that I started to think those places are actually the places where I belong but I just couldn't deal with it. I know it's probably too late to ask, but wish me luck here? ;)

At the end of the day, I started to look back, and I promised you last year that we're gonna have so much fun in 2010. Well, guess what? I made it! Or at least I did, and I hope you too. First of all, I travelled back to Europe in autumn, which was dazzling though not as wonderful as summer 2008. Second, I turned 17 and got my ID card, which means I'm legit enough for my own bank account and credit card, though not as far as getting my own visa (that needs no guardian) or getting into a club or whatever.

The not so flattering things come too, like losing best friends because they're moving on with their lives. I suppose I was the one to blame for that, but then again, maybe it's just the same old me: I suck at keeping old friends. I guess that's my only resolution for 2011. I wanna keep my old friends, stop being suck at it while also fighting my insecurities. People think that because I smile and I laugh and I don't seem to have drama in my life, then I'm so carefree and all that. No, baby. Each time I write something I usually hit the Backspace button just because I was insecure. I want you to know that it takes so much courage and bravery to be able to write this and publish it. And that's what I'm working on for next year.

Disappointments keep coming. I'm lucky enough that one of the biggest disappointment of my life happened this year and I had the chance to write it and a friend of mine, who should remain anonymous, told me how he liked the post. He doesn't compliment people a lot and I guess when you receive a compliment from someone who barely ever have a good idea about someone, you're allowed to feel happy. People say what makes a a good writing is when the writer really mean to say it. Well, he said he felt my disappointments and sadness through the writing. Other posts that people say is good are the ones that I write with all my heart, so, thank you guys!

I guess the best line to sum up all that I've learned this year is taken from a romantic movie Serendipity:

"It's not giving up, it's growing up"

I'm taking concrete steps on fighting my insecurities. From now on comments are allowed. I know not that many people would even bother leaving comments here, but again, it takes a courage to do this once again. You may leave comments in any post you like, even the old ones!

So, see you again next year! We're gonna have even more fun, even more joy to be grateful for!

Before it all goes to waste, I wanna remember it all

Greetings!

If you ask me how I am, I'm very well, thanks. If you want an update, here's the short one. I'd like to share (in fact, I'd LOVE to. you know I love that kind of activity) but I just wanna say, I've had some of the best moments of the year in the last 20 days, and that's fast. New experiences, nostalgia, new friends, all the sadness and laughs and tears shared with new people, all the secret crushes... everything is so full packed! Just in case you insists to know why, here's some hints:

OBM mates

The girls of voeging: Puspa, Dea, moi et Bela in Bogor

Fingers crossed for all the good things to never end. But if it will, I'll just be thankful it happened and that means it was good.

regards,

your editor in chief

Good News In April

You see, I always love April because...

Your editor-in-chief (yes, that's me) turned 17

and

She graduated high school!!!

Thanks a lot for the very fun ride. You all are my biggest supporters.