This is not easy anymore

I don't know if you've been this weird, but I had it now. The reason why I made a blog is not because it's a trend. you can check the day I first write in this page, it's way before everyone start making a blog (and some just ignore it as if they don't have one now. trashy) Okay, so, the real reason is because I'm better to express something in writing. They said I have this facial expression that helps to express just about anything I need but no. Facial expression doesn't help. saying something you need to say in front of someone you wanna blame is not easy. so the first aim from this blog is to get someone to read my anger. I have a very unstable anger, you know, I might don't need anger management like Naomi Campbell but I do. My anger is so destructive somehow and it didn't took a psychiatrist to make me seek for an escape myself. That's why I made a blog. I had no problem even if zero person visiting this page, or there's no comments left, or there's no picture and people get bored. My biggest mistake was putting this page's URL on my Facebook page. In Facebook, I always try to control what I write or what I do, because I know EVERY SINGLE PERSON IN THE WORLD (sadly not someone I really wished he has), those whom I wanna share my life or those whom I wanna kick ass, have facebook and they could stalk me, be a part of my life and whatsoever. But that's not what I wanna do with my blog. I don't wanna be controlled for what I'm gonna do with this. I don't use Facebook a lot anymore. I was considering about deleting my account but when I think about it again, hey, why deleting, pretending to be cool? Facebook helps me connect with so many people (whom I want or not want to), my old friends or those who live overseas, share photos (I don't feel the urge to bring the digicam anymore), be invited to parties, or the most evilish thing is: stalking the life of people. as I wrote way before now, we know if someone is brokenhearted just by internet. Pain is no longer the thing you keep for yourself and your best friend, but also for thousands of your Facebook friends. Okay, back to the whole blog things, I just wanna say that it's no longer what I want. When I realized that some of the best people in my life are reading this, I felt honored and so thankful, especially if they have good feedback for me, no matter how untrue. But then, now what happens? I feel so confused about what to write, because I'm afraid a few people who read this would be offended, or not pleased, or it would unsafe for my private life (I sound like a celebrity? well, you don't know....) I sometimes get so stuck, and shallow and pretty damn lame. Like, I think about, "What if my uncle read this?" or, "What if my blahblah friends read this?" even, "No, my sisters don't have to know about this. because she will read this. who knows?" Same thing for Twitter, actually. and Twitter is actuallly even worse. I don't feel comfortable anymore, not because 416 accounts which is now following me, but for some people who can get free access to my life via Twitter. My tweets became so shallow now, because I don't want people to be offended, or people to offend me. We can say, "Oh, screw it. Fuck it, I don't give a fuck about what people say about me." But we can't deny that it hurts. I've seen people chaffed about each other, and that's rude. Or those fucking exhibitionists who show all things in their life off. Come on, we're all attention whore but don't get too much! There's a thin line between attention whore and exhibitionist in Twitverse but see, Twitter looks more like bitchfest nowadays, as people start to populate it. I remember of all 300 accounts in my MSN, there was only one friend who have Twitter and therefore I was the second. It was so free, I could tweet everything I want. Now there are plenty and they are now twitter whore. I never wanna unfollow someone but please stop. You are annoying.