Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Did you think that I was gonna give it up to you?

Hey lovebirds! So, people listen up. I know it's almost summer (in fact it's starting tomorrow) and I know I used to love summers, but ever since college hits me in the head with a frying pan, I'm starting to think that maybe autumn is the best season of all. I know autumn is lame, and it's the season where people start to think about committing suicide in winter, but autumn is the start of the new academic year, where there's a new batch of juniors, and like I've just spent an excruciatingly long holiday and then I meet my friends again. Fyi, I still have classes during summer now (screw you Short Terms!!!!!) so I'm not sure whether the term "summer holiday" is still for me. Well, this isn't high school anymore, dear me, and welcome to the jungle where everything about you is being redefined.But based on personal experiences, summer leaves. Summer always leaves, and what happens in summer stays there. The things you love during the summer will bid you adieu "Until next time, sweetheart..." and you don't know when that next time is. But just believe, every summer worth your excitement. I wish you all tons of happiness during the summer. Go somewhere exotic, somewhere new or somewhere you've always loved (like Paris, maybe? ;) ) I'd probably still be here on my desk, updating this page and wishing you all forever a nice summer.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

May this boat take you somewhere, somewhere that's not here, where you can find yourself some peace. Sure, peace and freedom is lonely. But that somewhere is soon not a dream; it's a reality, and you're going to love it.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Strangled

They always thought that everything is done for me; every single thing that has ever come into our lives. They always thought I was given everything, like everything happened in my favor. They always thought that they give me all the best; exactly what I need and what I want. Truth is, they're always wrong. It was always about them and their massive egos just because they're the ones in power to make it happen. It was always them and what they think. It was always about them and their favors. It was never about me. And they thought I have everything.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

À la Before Sunrise

This. This.

Read me something really beautiful, something Haruki Murakami or Orhan Pamuk, in a wet bench on a cloudy Amsterdam day.

Dam Square was not as noisy as it usually is, but there's still the tram.

The youngsters dressed up in hip clothes and goth make up. The American and Canadian tourists taking pictures everywhere and the Asians busy shopping every last cents of Euro they got.

Read me something really beautiful, something Pablo Neruda or Cesare Pavese, on the edge of a fountain where people threw coins for sweet empty wishes, before I get too old and tired and dissolve into a million molecules.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Fairy Tale Does Happen Sometimes

The official wedding photo

"...what's amazing about them is that they love each other because know each other so well. They have been friends in college and for 8 years, and they have been living together in Wales where William serves as Royal Air Force pilot as normal couple. He knows what she looks like first thing in the morning, and she knows how to pick up his socks and his underwear... and today they're getting married in front of millions of people." -BBC

"Nine days ago, while the rest of the world fixated on every last detail of their impending nuptials, Will and Kate took a boat to his mother’s final resting place. The couple spent a quiet day at Lady Di’s remote burial site, and walking the grounds of the nearby arboretum where Will and Harry planted trees alongside their mother as boys. ‘It was very important for William to take Kate to visit his mum just before their wedding day,’ a royal insider told the Daily Mirror. ‘Diana is still a huge part of her boys’ everyday life and always will be.’ This was particularly true today, as William bit his lip nervously, standing at the altar with his bride, just as his mother did on her wedding day. It was a reminder to the millions of viewers who’ve watched the prince become a man, he’s still his mother’s son." -William and Kate Honor Diana's Memory

I have to say I was the one who's shallow enough to give so much shit about the royal wedding. I was so shallow that when Kate made her way down the aisle to the altar, I couldn't breathe. I was so shallow that I smiled wider than William and Kate did when they had the chance to steal a glance at each other. It wasn't even my wedding, and I was beyond ecstatic. I must be so shallow or just plain crazy. By the way, the official wedding photo is so beautiful I could cry. Can you see Disney characters Cinderella's Prince Phillip's balding version marrying Beauty and Beast's Belle?
when someone died, they will be sorely missed. their funerals will be attended by people who really love them or simply respect someone who's related to them. but nobody is as sad as the woman who gave birth to her, who raised her, who spent 25 years besides her, who feed her, who educated her, who saw with all her remaining strength how scary their struggle to live was. this is to my cousin who died 5 days ago. this is to her mother who fought and struggled just as hard as she did;or maybe harder. this is to mothers out there who's so fragile about losing their beloved daughters. this is to the life she left.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

The Ballad of Paul and Linda

This is a total heartbreak for my family and I. Linda was, and still is, the love of my life. I am privileged to have been her lover for 30 years, and in all that time, except for one enforced absence, we never spent a single night apart. When people asked why, we would say — “What for?” Our family is so close that her passing has left a huge hole in our lives. We will never get over it, but I think we will come to accept it. In the end, she went quickly with very little discomfort, and surrounded by her loved ones. The kids and I were there when she crossed over. They each were able to tell her how much they loved her. Finally, I said to her: “You’re up on your beautiful Appaloosa stallion. It’s a fine spring day. We’re riding through the woods. The bluebells are all out, and the sky is clear blue.” I had barely got to the end of the sentence, when she closed her eyes, and gently slipped away. She was unique and the world is a better place for having known her. Her message of love will live on in our hearts forever. I love you, Linda.

- Paul McCartney’s statement after Linda McCartney’s death on April 17, 1998


I have been known to be forever a lover of John and Yoko, and I have declared that forever they are my hero. But a little look over at Paul and Linda would make anyone who's in the same path as me think twice. Linda was, just like Yoko, in a hard position because even though she was from a rich family living in NYC's Fifth Avenue, daddy a successful Harvard lawyer and art collector, in the spotlight because she was a widower with one daughter and she was American. The Brits don't get it. It was always like that back then, though. You're an idol, you're a lover--people dislike your beloved. When Linda married Paul, she married his fame and rockstar life too. It was only in the recent years people actually love her for who she really is. Read more Paul's writing about Linda here.


"...She loved riding so much. Sometimes she’d get up on her a horse and I’d say: “You don’t want to get down, do you?” She preferred it up there than on the ground."

Legally 18

Thank you for your really kind and funny wishes! I never knew I was blessed with such lovable and funny and cool friends all surrounding me with warm love. Thank you for you really warm tweets(and retweets) and texts and Facebook walls. Thank you strangers who don't know me well enough but still bother to say happy birthday. Thank you my dearest family for your sweet presents. Special thanks to Winandya Almira for the HIGHlarious series of edited photos of Jon Kortajarena. Thank you everyone who cares. I can't thank you enough. I'm turning legal and I'm happy :)







Friday, April 15, 2011

Not everyone is gonna give up on love, and on you

Thank you for reminding me through this typography. Maybe I'm not the one you meant to say it to, but even so, thank you. Thank you.
Thank you for reminding me that you're still the bravest person I know, and that you make me really proud of you. You always do the things I will never be able to do. But most of all, I like how you always fight for your love, no matter what it costs you. You never hide it, and you always come clean. And after all, you open your heart to fall in love like you can fall in love everyday. I find it so hard to fall in love these days, because I've been hurt and all. But you always love like you've never been hurt before, even though like you said, your love life always ends tragic. But you're so brave I could burst into tears just thinking of the courage you have inside of you. I will never be able to hear that the guy I like doesn't like me back. I will never be able to tell him that I like him, and that I just wanna tell him that without being hopeful. I don't know how many times exactly love has disappointed you, and guys have let you down, but you never give up on love. You never, ever give up. You always believe in it. Heroes are the believers. The believers who believe in the things other people don't, and they can do what you can't do. In a way, you're my hero. And I thank you for that.


I like love


When you take care of me during my sick days, and you keep on saying that I will get better when I can't see it at all, and when you keep telling me that there's more to learn from what I can see today, and that it happened for a reason, "You'll be okay, I promise. I love you, and I'll love you more when you get better."
When I almost give up, and I think no good news is coming to me, and I know I'll be alright, and I was making myself sure that it's okay to fail, you tell me "You can do it. I know you can do it, and you'll nail it. You're more than you think you are. I love you."
When I get home being a terrible kid and I get mad at everybody and I show no mercy, it was because I'm angry. I'm angry because what I miss the most is the idea of home, the home I knew when I was 6 or 7, when everyone wasn't this old, wasn't this smart, wasn't this busy. I never miss what I actually see. And you always, always told me "What gets you so upset? Is it somebody at school? Is it something that bothers you night and day? What can I do for you?"
When you ask me that, I really just wanna give an answer to you, but I never have the heart to actually do it. "Love me less. Expect less from me."