mourning mornings

I'm sorry to have been a little bitter lately. And now this is why.

I lost my iPod today last week, as well as I lose one of my two grandmothers. And then, my uncle passed too.
So long, Grandma. You know I love you so much, and I still do. I might be such a very annoying granddaughter but I never really meant it. It was all because I love you, and because I care about you. Now that you’re gone, I know you’re happy and free.
And, you’re still young, Oom. I love you, and though we haven’t been through so much, I guess it’s enough for me to feel that I lost you. I lost your smile and your laugh. Most importantly I will lose your sweet jokes.

I can buy a new iPod, anytime. But my family is not for sale. I can’t replace them with a new one. Death is always scary, because we all know that is a precision, but when it actually comes we’re still very surprised. And we might be crying too.

In the morning I went to school as usual. My mother told me stories about Grandma and all that family stuffs… I thought, “She’s not gonna die today. Everything’s gonna be fine, it’s a normal day,” In fact it is, normal. all the same way as yesterday. Tapi setelah pelajaran olahraga, gue baru mau ke kantin sama temen gue, gue terima SMS dari kakak gue: Rien, Mbah meninggal….

And I cried at the same time. I’m not a fan of crying at school, actually I don’t like to be seen while I’m crying. They said muka gue ga pantes buat nangis. I wasn’t really close to her, but she’s been a very loving old lady. She’s good in giving advices, telling funny jokes, it’s just that she’s too old.

Jasadnya datang ke rumah gue. I never had a dead body in my house before…

I hadn’t seen Grandma for months, dia tinggal di Bogor dan gue males banget ke sana, atau selalu ada aja alesan gue ga ikut ke sana. Padahal nyokap udah selalu bilang, “Ayo dek, mana tahu ini kesempatan terakhir kamu ketemu.” Dan bener aja gitu, terakhir kali gue ketemu dia adalah waktu lebaran. Oh God… now I feel sorry for myself. Gue belom minta maaf. And I’m afraid she didn’t know that I love her. Now I get to see her again… but she must be very different. Her old skin must be very pale now, she must be laid dead, cold and serene.

And my uncle, he passed away while he was alone in Bandung for a job duty. He wasn’t sick at all, they said it was a heart attack. He’s a big man, tall and really big.

Friday night, habis Maghrib gue ketiduran di kamar, exhausted, I’ve been working like a dog. Gue baru bangun jam 11 malem, tamu-tamu tahlilan udah pulang semua. Tinggal tante sama bokap dan kakak gue lagi makan di bawah. Semuanya udah baik-baik aja, gue ngomongin soal jadwal gue untuk berangkat ke pelantikan di Gunung Bunder keesokan harinya. Habis itu semuanya oke. Gue balik ke kamar dan tiduran lagi. Tapi nggak tau kenapa, nggak ngantuk aja gitu. Gue inget gue baru tidur lagi jam 00.10.

Tiba-tiba, jam 00.50, pintu kamar gue diketuk sama kakak gue yang belom tidur itu. Gue kesel banget, ngapain sih, nggak bisa bikin orang seneng banget deh. Tapi dia bilang dengan pelan, “Dek, buka dek. Penting.” Akhirnya gue buka deh. Penasaran, sepenting apa sih sampe gue mesti dibangunin.

Kakak: Dek yang kuat ya.
Gue: Apa sih?
Kakak: Indah, kamu juga ya.
Ibro: (masih merem) Hmm…
Kakak: Oom Iyo meninggal.
Ibro: (nggak ada reaksi, diem, tetep aja merem)
Gue: (melongo) Nggak lucu lo (nadanya datar)
Kakak: Ih, ya orang beneran
Gue: (balik ke tempat tidur, nutupin seluruh badan pake selimut) Nggak tau ah.
Kakak: Dek, kamu jangan gitu dong. Ini serius. Tadi Oom Koko telepon jam 12, dia lagi mau on the way ke Bandung sekarang.

I was like, I couldn’t fucking believe it! Ooh sweet God why does it happen to me? This morning was Grandma, now my uncle? It's only 18 hours away! Well they’re from the different side of my family but they’re still my family… Gue sesenggukan, tapi nggak ada air mata yang keluar. My tears had gone dry. Now I feel sorry for my uncle I couldn’t cry for him.

Ibro: Dua kali, di hari kalender masehi yang sama, gue dikasih tau berita kayak gini pas bangun tidur. Nggak bisa nangis ah gue.

Kakak gue cerita semua kronologis sampe dia bisa tau beritanya, termasuk saat ngasih tau Mama, yang bikin Mama jadi nggak bisa tidur. She’s been working even more than a dog, she’s even more exhausted than I am. Kebetulan, eyang, yang adalah ibunya Mama dan Oom Iyo itu, lagi nginep di rumah gue, dan di kamar yang sama juga sama Mama.

In the end I cried again. I couldn’t sleep at all. And, true. It was, really tiring. For the second time I see a real dead body lying cold and tense in front of me. Two days in a row. I couldn’t be sadder. There, in my Granny’s house, I realized that my tears hadn’t gone dry. It was like watching “P.S. I love You” for the second time. His wife was extremely devastated, she was unconscious for some time.

Gue melihat dia sempet mengelus-elus wajah suaminya selama 10 tahun terakhir untuk terakhir kalinya, she looked so vulnerable. And so is Granny. She was even more devastated. At the cemetery, dia mengelus-elus nisannya, bunga-bunga tabur di atas makamnya… I remember she was saying, “Jangan sedih ya kamu sendirian. Jangan marah-marah…”

it must be so hard for her to wake up every morning, and knowing that there’s nobody sleeping next to her again, while she’s been in that position for 10 years. It must be so hard for her to be single again. Maybe she’s forgot how to be single and alone. Maybe she doesn’t know how to go out and dating again. Most of all, she’s not ready to let go of her love. In fact nobody will be, but it’s all too sudden. Because in the end, all we have to do is let go.

And so, the pain is just too much to bear.

I’ll be missing you always, Grandma, and Oom Iyo. Bye bye.

Mbah: Kamu makan apa, Rien?
Gue: Makan tongseng Mbah
Mbah: Gigimu kuat, toh?
Gue: (nyengir) kuat lah, aku kan masih muda, hehehehe.
Mbah: Gigimu sekuat itu?
Gue: Hah?
Mbah: Kok gigimu kuat makan tong sama seng?
Gue: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!
Mama: HUAHAHAHAHA IBU ADA-ADA AJA DEH!

Note this day

Hari ini hasil ulangan matematika bab suku banyak gue dibagikan daaan........... untuk kedua kalinya gue ga remed matematika selama di SMA ini!

Very honestly, I suck in maths, REALLY. Bahkan di bab yang menurut gue gampang ini aja, kesalahan gue terletak pada salah hitung dan ga teliti. Dan kadang-kadang masalah gue adalah, gue bener-bener ga tau itu soal mau dibawa ke mana. Blank bangetlah pokoknya. Dan yang paling gue benci dari matematika adalah, gue merasa gue nggak mati kalo ga belajar itu so why the hell would I waste my time crying for my math scores? banyak banget temen gue yang sering sibuk belajar matematika, ngutak-ngatik angka, but that's something I'll never do kecuali at least seminggu kedepan ada ulangan. mungkin karena itu ya nilai gue jelek terus, tapi gue benci banget di SEMUA sekolah takaran orang pinter adalah bisa matematika, fisika, kimia.......... padahal Oprah Winfrey pasti nggak tahu cara memfaktorkan persamaan kuadrat.

Tapi karena gue masuk IPA, ya, terpaksa lah. bisa ga bisa harus bisa, there's no other option.

Pandangan gue terhadap matematika baru berubah ketika gue tahu bahwa Edward Turin (now I know his surname, but to keep this blog safe so I won't tell his real name) adalah finalis olimpiade matematika nasional di Italia! Turns out he's a badass. Hahahahaha. He looks nothing like that. I mean, gue ga pernah tahu ada finalis olimpiade matematika nasional di Indonesia yang berani make out di depan TopShop di daerah serame Oxford Street.

Kedua, hari ini gue juga baru tahu kalau gue nggak remed kimia! Ooh sweet Godddddd!!!!!! I couldn't be happier. mungkin ini ga akan berpengaruh besar banget ya, tapi gue merasa, oke, ini hal besar. karena gue sangat amat jujur dalam ulangan kimia gue kemaren. dan meskipun nilainya, well, fairly ngepas, I know I made it.

Ketiga, hahaha, hari ini adalah pertama kalinya gue dipanggil BK gara-gara cabut. Rame-rame sih, tapi tetep aja it felt so awful. Hampir tiap minggu gue dan beberapa temen gue ini cabut bta dan selalu dipanggil untuk balik ke kelas. soalnya, kami duduk satu barisan jadi kalo kami cabut, barisan itu akan kosong melompong! Ha! Biasanya gue suka kesel banget kenapa siiiih mesti dipanggil balik lagi. apa coba hubungannya kelas kosong sama enggak? jadi most of the time kita balik karena ga enak aja ketua kelasnya udah menderita disuruh nyariin kita yang kabur. I end up daydreaming in the class, saking ga tau mau ngapain.

Bawaan gue mules kalo ketemu guru BK, dan alasannya bukan hanya karena mereka selalu ngebahas nilai tapi juga karena menurut gue, ada masalah yang suka dibesar-besarin. Satu hal yang gue benci adalah, SEMUA guru, termasuk guru BK, bilang bahwa sekolah itu cari ilmu dan bukan nilai. Guru2 BK cuma makin meyakinkan gue bahwa sekolah adalah cari nilai. Saat gue dapet nilai bagus, gue merasa menang, tapi nggak bangga2 banget. gue cuma seneng karena berarti Tuhan denger doa gue, but part of me says bahwa gue resmi menjadi bagian dari sistem yang ga sehat ini.

Nggak dimarahin sih, and it doesn't make me hate BK even more tapi... ya ampun yang cabut nggak cuma gue dan beberapa temen gue itu doang kali. in fact almost everyone has done that, turns out I'm out of luck today. jadi cuma kebetulan aja pas gue hari ini lagi iseng malah ketahuan. apakah gue kapok? well, I don't know about that.

My Daddy, My Valentine

How was your Valentine’s Day, everyone? It might be too western, but, well I agree if someone says V-day is needed so that people can, at least once in a year, remember about love. I can say I didn’t celebrate it, but surely enough my Valentine this year is the most incredible man in my life, my father.

As I’ve told you before, my father is a very generous man. Something about him keeps me sane and makes me feel kind of safe. He might not make a bank at home, or a black belt in karate, but he protects his children in any way possible.

Anyway, we went out with my sister to see The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. And I looove this film!

At first it was boring. On the schedule it was 14.00 sharp, but then this short movie with no dialogue presented by a whitening brand showed up for about 20 minutes. Turns out it was only two and a half hour.

It didn’t start boring like other Oscar movies. I remember not long after the opening, a character who made the clock ticking anti-clockwise saying, “I made it that way. Because I was hoping for some time to be back, so that some people who went and died in war could be back. I wanted my son to be back home safely, marry a woman, having a child…” which he got a really good respect for. People respect his idea. And soon after, he died of extreme mourn.

No review here, just… well, I’d like to say that it taught people a lot about life, and love. It’s pretty romantic, actually. But it scares me to death how it gave me the idea of a limited life, where you know that there’s always a limit for time that you can live. I finally realized how I’ve wasted my life doing trashy things, and that I don’t actually seize my days. Even so, it’s flattering to know that everyone is the same, we’re going the same direction. Me, you, all people related to us, Bill Gates, Oprah Winfrey, Paris Hilton, Joe Jonas, Queen Elizabeth… Even Benjamin was going the same direction too. Not because we all end up in diapers, but, how we’re all alone.

Good news is, we’re all together in that loneliness too.

One of my best friends, Nadia, told me about this whole freaking idea of life and death (before I saw this movie):
”Lo pernah denger nggak sih? Katanya ya, waktu kita lahir, kita nangis sendirian sementara semua orang tersenyum, semua orang bahagia buat kita. Tapi saat kita meninggal nanti, semua orang bakal menangis dan berduka buat kita, sementara kita, semoga aja kita berhasil hidup dengan bener, bakal tersenyum sendirian. Pas gue denger itu, rasanya kayak, lega banget gitu. Kayak plong banget.”
Which I felt the same about. And I have a feeling that the person who said that has understood about the loneliness we’re all dealing with.

There are so many life lessons from Benjamin Button, so just see it. I don’t think it’s boring, I think it’s good. But then, good or bad is relative to everyone, so… I have no rights to say. But it’s definitely not a feel-good movie. You’d get out of the cinema feeling a little blue (if not dark).

One next thing about my V-day, is after dinner we’re heading to a CD store in Mahakam. We wanted to get the money back for the Rihanna ticket I’ve bought but it was too late so we have to come back the next day! No worries, no disappointment should appear on Valentine’s day. My Daddy bought me Oasis’ “What’s the Story? (Morning Glory)”. I love this album even though I never own it. Anyway I was only 2 when it came out. He knows I love this kind of bands, he’s the only one in the world who supports my worship to The Beatles. I think it’s a shame why I don’t worship musicians he recommended me like Led Zeppelin, Bob Dylan or Alison Moyet. But I love Nat King Cole, though.

Even when I got home and my daddy received a call from my mother, who’s in Bali with my another sister, to tell that she (my sister) hit a car and had to pay some cash, he didn’t get angry. Well, he was, I could see it in his eyes. But I didn’t feel it, I didn’t hear anger in his voice. What a very loving man. My father is probably one of the reasons why I feel so lucky in this life, even though I don’t own a whole closet full of Manolos.

Ruined Days

I recently had a very bad day.

It was Wednesday, and one of the worst Wednesdays ever.

I had a presentation about this bizarre assignment for my English class about the country Tunisia. The teacher, Ms. Duck, is a really pathetic teacher, I tell you. She’s smart, for sure. And she does her job kind of very well. I mean, she really can do (write, listen, read and speak) English, but down inside she’s just the same kind of conceited lady. For you who go to school with me must know this teacher. She’s soooooooooo annoying, isn’t she?

During classes, she really likes to talk about her experience while in the US and other countries like Japan, which is really boo-ring. I mean, it’s okay to be proud, but it’s way too exhausting to listen about the same thing every week. Might not be the same stories but still pathetic.

And then, my group has to show up.

My group is eventually a good group. I mean, we have this clever and really diligent boy, two class clowns, me and the another girl. I always know that Smart Boy has done his best for the presentation, and it was good, although I have to admit that it doesn’t fulfill Ms. Duck’s criteria of a good presentation.

I was the first person to speak, and thus she looked so boring. I was thinking, is there something wrong? Is that because I don’t remember almost all of my part? I know I supposed to remember all the lines, but it was ridiculous. There was too many numbers and I suck at saying numbers as well as English writings. Or maybe because… there was too many text?

But after the presentation and she had to make some recap, she said this one, horrible thing that maybe I deserve but maybe not.

“It’s actually a pretty presentation but you have to change the font color at the general information part because it’s disturbing, and there are still too many words that you actually can just say orally. Sayang kan jadinya, yang tadinya mau gaya jadi nggak bisa gitu lho,”

I DIDN’T MEAN TO GAYA-GAYAAN. FOR GOD’S SAKE THAT IS SO NOT ME!!!

My friend said that I spoke the way Miley Cyrus would answer questions. There were too many American teenager expressions such as, ‘well, like…’ or ‘kind of’. But so what nobody blame Miley for speaking like that, why should she said I was gaya-gayaan? The way I speak or do anything is the way I want it to be, or that's probably the best I can be. I can't speak as good as Shakespeare! I suck in English, I know that. But she shouldn’t bring me down, that’s not what teachers do. So SCREW YOU, MS. DUCK!

And then this Angel, who was the audience, was seriously annoying. There were too many text on the general information part, which was my part. And she spontaneously shouted, “Copy paste!” before I even ready to read it, which I replied, “Well we respect Tunisia, that’s why we don’t cut any good information about them.” I can’t remember all the things she said during my presentation because you know what, she’s a looser in English. She’s a pathetic speaker, a terrible writer, and a not-so-good listener too. So she basically has nothing to mock about me because her presentation was very dreadful until Ms. Duck was so angry.

Oh one thing I know is she kept on following the way I pronounce some words. Like, France. I really don’t know how to say it so I say ‘frangs’. And how I don’t show the ‘t’ and ‘r’ sound in some words, she followed it too like a monkey in a kindergarten.

I know her specific hobby is hurting people. I’ve been hurt too but I’m still not immune to it.

Lastly, after a sequence of not-so-fun things, my friend told me that I have to redo my interview to 6 people for the public opinion section on school’s magazine.

The reason why my work has been denied? Because the vice principal said that it was like going against the school rules.

The questions was about the new rule about no matter how late you are, the gate is still opened for you. Or the second choice was about the new regulation that school starts at 6.30, which was still unclear at the time of interview.

I mean, it’s an opinion, why is it against the school rules? I don’t get it. And the opinions of 6 students don’t mean school has to change it anyway, it’s just an opinion, it makes people think freely, not the way school wants us to be (hello, exact answers for Bahasa exams? Ridiculous.) It’s not fair. Magazine for me is about creativity, freedom of mind and journalistic. And that means there should be no borders about what can be or can’t be put on the magazine. It’s an interesting topic anyway, we all have our own opinion about that.

Now I have to change it to stupid questions such as, “Menurut kamu *** itu apa? Pernah ngelakuinnya nggak? Kalau punya kekuatan, *** apa yang akan kamu lakukan? Alasannya?” Now that’s what school must want it to be. Stupid, dull, lame, if not rubbish.

Smile, everyone!

Chem test tomorrow, physics waiting on Friday while on Thursday night I'm going to see Rihanna (yes, the today's diva!). It seems like day to day it's even more frustrating than ever.

Life could be very depressing somehow, couldn't it?

Some people could bring us down, make life's even harder with vengeance, anger... that's why people hate people.

But I'd like to celebrate my life. Not that I won't get angry or anything, just... life's too short, I wanna make it lasts. It's too short to be filled by anger, hatred, and all...isn't it?

Today is like, one of the worst day ever. Because so many tests waiting and I hate tests.
But to mend all that disappoinment and pressures, I choose to celebrate it, it any way possible.

Coldplay wins 3 Grammys, everyone! Woohooo! and Radiohead wins "Best Alternative". I'm so darn curious to watch it but.... oh sweet God I have to studyyyyyy *kewl.

Aaand... this is one of best friend's birthday. Happy birthday, Cantika! She's just recovered from a terrible typhus until she had to be absent the whole week last week. What's so surprising was, she looked at my phone's wallpaper and there's this awesome small talk:

Cantika: Rien, gue kayaknya tau ini siapa.
Gue: (nyengir) Siapa?"
Cantika: Tunggu, jangan bilang! gue tau kok ini siapa! gitaris bukan?
Gue:(makin deg2an) bukan! bassist.
Cantika: Siapa dong?*diam sebentar*OOOH! SID VICIOUS! SEX PISTOLS!
Gue: YEAAAAYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *sangat terharu, pengen nangis rasanya, hahahahahahaha

Finally there's somebody who knows this one of the most incredible person ever exist on earth. And it feels so great. My chairmate for today, he's so much into metal music, he didn't know Sid!

Ah, how life could be both bitter and sweet.

Grammys delight

Watch out everyone, Grammy is coming!!

Every year, I feel so thrilled about Grammy. This is the most-awaited award for me. Oscars is so boring, y'know, because 1) Fashionwise, there are movie stars on the red carpet, they always dressed in some way so they look cool. Meanwhile in Grammys, there are musicians, who, we rarely see wearing designer's pieces (except for the JoBros, they're like, so much into Dolce) and 2) movies have so many awards waiting for them, I mean like, SAG, Golden Globes... but music only have Grammys, Juno, Brit... well, I can say, not so much.

I expect a lot of wins for Coldplay! Hope they win all their 7 noms that night!

One thing that really pissed me off is the fact that Jonas Brothers are nominated for "Best New Artist". Hello, isn't that like, for artists who launched their first album in the previous year? JoBros launched like, their second or third album last year! What's so new about them? But whatevs, I hope Duffy will win in this category.

So many British artists are nominated, but I really wish Radiohead will win. In fact I think In Rainbows was really good, well not as good as OK Computer or Kid A (because who could hate both?) but it's actually better than, let's say, Viva la Vida. Thom Yorke is a genius.

The good news is, it's tonight!

And I Don't Want To Live This Life

Seems like everyone's already preparing for St. Valentine's Day today, what's your plan, huh?





February for me means love is in the air. I guess my February will be perfect with, let's say, a box of Hershey's chocolate? Or reading "Love Letters of Great Men"?

I choose reading all about punk rock's very own Romeo and Juliet, Sid Vicious and Nauseating Nancy. I almost had my tears rolling down my face.

Why don't I enjoy my own Valentine? Well, it's sad to confess that I don't have any. Or I have failed my plan to gain any.

Ah, Sid. His life was an agony. His upbringing, his career, his relationships, his death… I never seen someone so self-destructive like him, his life was very vibrant, very interesting.

His relationship with Nancy Spungen was memorable. They are punk rock’s very own Romeo and Juliet, with dirty needles and hideous Mohawks. Actually I think of them when I saw Kate Moss-Pete Doherty or Amy Winehouse-Blake Fielder-Civil, very violent but deeply in love. See the movie Sid and Nancy (1986) by Alex Cox, it’s cool.

What a shame he died before he was 23. Some of the most iconic people died before their 30th birthday, remember Kurt Cobain?

I love Kurt too, “Smells Like Teen Spirits” is probably one of the best songs ever. I like Courtney Love, she’s very eccentric, and why do people always mock at her, that’s stupid. So what if she looks dreadful? She’s a rockstar, she’s got attitude and Frances Bean with her.

Sid is undeniably very iconic. Some rockstars appear to look like him. He really did, live fast die young. But I guess it was fine for him to die young, he's made his life to the fullest anyway.

He allegedly murdered her, though I don't really believe that. No matter how high he was, I don't think he could kill the girl he really loved. Good thing he was dead in peace and silence. Nancy's mom, Deborah, wrote a book titled "And I Don't Want To Live This Life", which was a line from Sid's poem dedicated to Nancy after her death. I haven't read the book yet--I wish I will, a.s.a.p--but it was opened with the beautiful poem written by such a sick guy.

You were my little baby girl,
And I shared all your fears.
Such joy to hold you in my arms
and kiss away your tears.
But now you're gone, there's only pain
and nothing I can do.
And I don't want to live this life,
If I can't live for you.
To my beautiful baby girl.
Our love will never die...

Bad, bad, bad habits

Belakangan ini di kelas gue ada salah satu anak cowok, one of the kindest I've ever known, sebutlah namanya Gani*, diceng2in.

Before that let me tell you about Gani. He's a ridiculously generous boy. He's pretty artistic, actually, he draws a lot, and in fact pretty clever. he's helpful, responsible, well, one of the best.

Dia diceng2in pacaran sama salah satu cowok dari kelas lain, yang sama baik dan pinternya sama dia!

I know them both. Gani is indeed a very good boy, and so is Roy*, the another boy. Well, you know, people are different one to another. we came from so many different types, sizes, colors, characteristics... I don't think it's fair to judge that someone was gay just because they act as a good and very soft guy.

setiap kali Roy dateng ke kelas atau mereka ketemuan, atau jalan bareng, pasti langsung diteriakin, "Cie Ganiiii.... jangan salting Gan!" diikuti dengan tawa semua orang.

seriously, it's not funny. at all.

Do you hurt people who have helped you so many times? I'd rather hurt people who hurt than people who's innocent and just being proud of themselves. Judging is not cool. so what if he was gay anyway? Blegh.

It's one of the worst, ugliest and intolerable thing I've ever heard in high school.

Wizard of Oz

Between exams, I try not to get stressed out. in fact I could be pretty relaxed but it's math exam coming up and I really suck in it. and I always find movies as a nice stress antidote.

When I was a kid, I watched “The Wizard of Oz” almost everyday. I really love Dorothy! I thought the color is far-fetched, very different than any other movies in late 90s, and the story was kind of pretty cool. I love Toto, the Scarecrow, the Tin Man and the Wicked Witch. I mean, I really hate her while I was watching it but even the 3-year-old me understand that she did a great job with it. I watched it by, err… I don’t remember the name… Laser Disc? It’s like a DVD but as big as a music vinyl. And there was no subtitle, which is weird how can a 3 year old enjoy it without knowing what they were saying? Really, I was 3 at the time. I hadn’t started kindergarten yet, that’s why I could watch it everyday. You see, it’s a miracle too, right? It came even in the simplest way I never think of.

I didn’t realize that it was made in 1939. Now that explains why it was different than any other movies.

Wow, even the Dutch were still here. Hitler was still alive. And I’m celebrating its almost 70th birthday.

It was so depressing when Dorothy was back on the farm. I love Oz. I think it’s beautiful. I wasn’t the only girl who wanted to have a pair of sparkly shoes. When TopShop launched a pair of red flats but with strap on the middle, I couldn’t help buying it but then… I didn’t find my size. Ooh God I hate it when I have to let go of my favorite stuffs!

I wish I could see this movie again, because I can’t play that goddamn large disc anymore. Why is it, that vinyls, are still very popular, even got the cult status in music world, but Laser Disc, lost its popularity between all this freaking movie discs?

I’m just happy until today I never heard someone is gonna remake it on Hollywood. I guess some movies are better stay classic, let’s say, Breakfast at Tiffany’s, The Breakfast Club, Gone With The Wind and well, The Wizard of Oz.