What happens while the candle is sixteen

This will be my last post in 2009. Thanks for sticking with me through thick and thin. Happy new year everyone.

The hardest part is taking part...

Friends moving out overseas. Three most notable members of the family funerals, one amazing friend died. Well, they say the brightest star burns the fastest....

Burying my Grandma. Sad, sad face. February 20, 2009

Airport, August 20, 2009

Good news is, life isn't that bitter...

 A surprise from XI IPA F (went watching Watchmen), Senayan City, April 23, 2009

XI IPA F won 3rd winner BBM (Bazaar Budaya something), April 6, 2009

This picture is here because.... it's the first time I ever step my feet on Bekasi! LOL. Nadia's post-birthday surprise (HAHA LAME), January 18, 2009

We are refugees. Our school is flooded! January 19, 2009

Coldplay Viva La Vida tour Live in Hong Kong, March 25, 2009

Hong Kong Disneyland, July 7, 2009

That's pretty much everything. Not literally, but, yeah, the highlights. This year is mostly about being a sophomore (all play and party, no study). Well, thanks everybody. See you in 2010, cuz we'll have more fun....

Just Because It's Christmas....

Love Actually, 2001, Mark & Juliet

People say Love Actually is a seasonal love story that people just kind of looked back and see for the Christmas love spirit. I personally think this is one of the best movies in my life ever and I don't just watch it in Christmas (I don't celebrate Christmas, for the record) And this scene above, is the best of all. Love Actually's popularity in IMDB is up over 107% during this Christmas!

 Claire Colburn: So you failed. Alright you really failed. You failed. You failed. You failed. You failed. You failed. You failed. You failed. You failed. You failed. You failed. You failed. You failed. You think I care about that? I do understand. You wanna be really great? Then have the courage to fail big and stick around. Make them wonder why you're still smiling. 

(Elizabethtown)

The End of A Decade

How would you describe this decade? You know, like, they gave 90s grunge, 80s disco and blah blah... What do you call this 2000s?

I call this the Gossip Girl era

(sorry, it's just that, I'm in high school, where everyone watch the show and... act like the fictional characters. it's just that they are for real) 

And John Remains Dead

It will be released internationally this Christmas but I think we have to seriously wait, since it's not a commercial movie. Some parts of the story is "hollywoodised", because of course, John didn't live a life that most people would understand. Been waiting for it so bad.

I forgot what it feels like to cry in the middle of the night over some boys whose heads are bigger than their hearts. I forgot what it feels like to fall for somebody. I forgot how hurt it feels to fall for the wrong person. Thanks to you, you're the last.(I'm sorry, I'm just really upset)

Paperback Writer

Paperback, originally uploaded by Hip2bDaniel.

Yesterday was exactly 29 years since John' death. I love John. I wasn't even born yet but we still crave for someone like him until now. My dad made me love them so much. Yesterday he picked me up and we sang Beatles songs together like karaoke in the car :3 I tweeted Sean and Yoko (Yoko has been following my Twitter, for the record. So much loveee!)

We love you, John. Truly.

Chaises Volantes

One of these days you're gonna feel so empty.

Empty.

But don't worry you just have to free yourself.

So go ahead,

fly,

get high

we're young

save the serious stuffs for later.

Old Friends Fear

I had just been tagged on Facebook picture which is an invitation to an elementary school reunion.

I was sort of WHAT THE HECK?! 

I mean, look, I love meeting people. I don't really pick kinds of people who I'd be friends with because I'm generally willing to know everyone, BUT, maybe..... not in this kind of circumstances.

You see, I haven't been in touch with ALL of them (except three, but, 3 among 80 people? let's just say none) and I haven't seen them since, like, the last day of elementary school which has been nearly 6 years ago. Of course, I browsed through their Facebooks and I was impressed how... all grown up. If it wasn't because of Facebook and they put names on it and those who I actually know tagged them along on that invitation, there's no way I'm gonna recognise them. I know it's so mean because most of them still remembers me, but, hello?? My face didn't change a thing and even people whom the last time I met was when I was 4 would remember me, it's not that hard, but them?? 

And one thing worse is that I feel like so far from them, like, if people don't really learn our history, nobody would believe that we were friends. I'm not saying like, "Oh my God I'm so cool right now, we're so different, blahblah..." but it's true. They've been in the very same circle all this time, they haven't lost that connection and they would still know what to talk about. But me? Okay, we might still speak the same language but maybe, well just maybe, in different dialects (HAHA). This is mean, and this is rude, but I'm actually just scared. I'd really love to see them again and gathered up in the same room but I also don't wanna be the only one who's not talking to anyone as if I was in the wrong party! Have you been in any parties like that?? It's so darn pathetic.

by Kai Z Feng

Jason Wilder, originally uploaded by Kai Z Feng Blog.

Magnificent ciggie image. I'm against smoking sometimes, but it is undeniable that smoking pictures can be the most interesting

TV Couples!

I'm a complete sucker for American TV series. Like, totally. I watch 90210, Gossip Girl, One Tree Hill, Vampire Diaries, Ugly Betty, True Blood, and 10 Things I Hate About You. I do NOT watch local TV. I'm not being subjective or anti-nationalist but see, I'm really objective. There's no local drama series that interests me, they're usually made of some crappy cliche ideas. And well, I'm a labile teenager slash hopeless romantic, I'm also a sucker for all those you-may-think-they're-cute-or-too-crappy-to-be-together TV couples!

Quinn and Clay, One Tree Hill

Quinn and Clay! Quinn and Clay! Quinn and Clay!! I prefer Quinn and Clay rather than Brooke and Julian now.

Patrick Verona and Kat Stratford, 10 Things I Hate About You Series

What kind of girl doesn't want a Patrick Verona in her life? Not me. Hahahahaha

Liam and Naomi, Beverly Hills 90210

I know Liam's really cute and Naomi's not so pretty, even my friends don't understand why I'm a fan, but they're just so interesting together. If they were just friends, 90210 wouldn't be so interesting to watch.

Elena and Stefan, Vampire Diaries 

I hate vampire. I really hate vampire stories. I know Stefan is like Edward Cullen in that Twilight saga but at least Elena isn't Bella's-kind-of vampire lover or Sookie Stackhouse's strong. And that's where the interesting factor lies. 

Teddy and Silver, Beverly Hills 90210

Okaaaay, sorry, another 90210 couple. I'm basically just thinking that this show is getting better. The first season was rubbish, and yet I gave it another chance, and voila! It's a better show than Gossip Girl now, really. It's not boring, it's a bit more fun. And I don't really like Teddy either but I like him when he's with Silver. The way he looks at Silver is just soooo cool hahahahaha.

How could you wait for this?

I had a Twitter conversation with Astrid and Karin about our upcoming trip to Europe. We're going in different times and ways but still Italy anyway. Karin will have her former summerfling as her local guide (HAHA, nice one!) Aaaaaaaahhhh I just cannot wait until that time!

Carnivale Venice, 2009

Un Dernier Verre

Zach Condon of Beirut

I just recently fell in love with Beirut once again. I mean, how can you not? And my current listening: Postcards from Italy. Let's just see if I'm really gonna make a trip to Italy or not. My favorite destination: Torino Verona!

At Least I Learn Things

Lessons you don't get from class.

I Feel Stupid and Contagious

If I could, I'd just skip high school. I know I'd probably miss it someday but I always know that's not entirely true. There are so many reasons to hate high school and yet so many contraries to say I love high school. Why does high school have to be such a massive bitchfest?

Scissors Sisters

summer 2009, Disneyland Hong Kong, Fireworks Display

My second sister gave me an envelope this afternoon right when I got home and said it was part of her assignment. It was a nice, mini pink envelope written in blue marker: "Dearest my little big sister". She was in the bathroom when I read it, and, what a surprise. It was a letter.

Dearest Nduti...

Hey ma' man!!!

Makasih yah udah jadi tempat sampah gue buat ngeluarin semua uneg-uneg gue. Maaf yah udah nyuruh-nyuruh elo terus. Tapi gue sayang kok sama elo. More than myself, sometimes.

Dan, be happy yeah... even when you get a headache with your math. I will always beside kok. Eng... even I would tell you that I'm not gonna miss you. You know that's a lie. And when I told you that you're a bitch, I never meant it.

Seneng deh, waktu elo tau kalo gue lagi BT atau bad mood, and you're acting silly like, "Kakaaaaaak.... lagi sedih yah?" I always laughed. Dan itu selalu bisa membuat gue gembira. elo itu kayak cookie dough di kala ngerjain tugas. emm... enak!!!

Elo itu kebanggan keluarga, ndut. Dan terlebih kebanggaan gue. Karena elo memberi gue kesempatan ngerasain punya adek yang ngebuat gue dan keluarga gue bahagia.

"Wherever you are, you will always be the one that I miss, because you are the one who makes my life worth it"

thank you honey... love you always

xoxo, your sister

I broke some tears of joy at that very second. I mean, you see, the very essence of life's happiness is in those small things like giving compliments to people, or telling them brutally honestly what you think they are instead of what you think they are not. She said that is the purpose of this assignment too, it's the secret of happiness. It works for everyone who has a heart, you know, telling them what they mean for you, because nobody was born with no purpose. What a very good education she gets in college. See, this is why I'm proud my sister is taking psychology major. I know, she had no intention to do it at first because she originally wanted to attend meds school, but you see, you can't get a "secret of happiness" letter if your sibling is majoring in medical or technology, they don't make these kind of stuffs. Some people are so proud their brothers or sisters make it to meds school, technological institutes or so on. But me, well, I don't need my sisters to be so clever. As long as they're my sisters (and sisters kinda have to love each other)I guess everything's cool.

P.S. She said she broke some tears too while writing it. hahahahaha

Thank you, sister!

Unhealthy Addiction?

I really love tea. I would choose tea over anything; milk, syrup, water, soda, coffee (well, except for Starbucks, but that's not my everyday drink. I mean, the grocery next to my house doesn't sell Starbucks) Tea also causes some major stains on my teeth that it looks black and disgusting, so I actually have to go see my dentist every month, though of course I don't. Haha.

Underwater tea party, anyone?

 My mum once told me I shouldn't drink too much tea (I have my own daily dose of tea. No less than 2 cups) because tea would make my teeth look yellow like those Brits with terrible teeth. I told her that maybe I think tea is so great just like those Brits do but she also says that I don't wanna have teeth like them. That makes sense. Hahahahaha.

Remember Lucky Luke?

Yeah, you're not the only one admiring his look on woman's heels. He looks cool and tres avant-garde!

Kids in the streets drinking wine on the banks of Seine River

Paris Je T'aime - Quais de Seine (Banks of Seine)

by Gurinder Chadha

I'm really fascinated about River Seine's banks in Paris. It was clearly visible that day when I had a Seine River Cruise on a boat that the jeunes Parisiens are having a great time hanging out there. They enjoy drinking, smoking, having good times with friends.... and all of that, is just so amazing. 

Rowling Wins, Meyer

Okay, I know I don't read Twilight nor Harry Potter but I know their quality. I mean, I have friends and people and they told me about them. Also, they have blockbuster movies coming out like every year and quality-wise, it kinda makes me Team Potter now. Like, really.

THE ICON

It's just impossible not to show some love to this lady. She's so pretty.

I Told Myself These During These Hard Times

Rose: I love you, Jack. 
Jack: Don’t you do that, don’t say your good-byes. 
Rose: I’m so cold. 
Jack: Listen, Rose. You’re gonna get out of here, you’re gonna go on and make lots of babies, and you’re gonna watch them grow. You’re gonna die an old… an old lady warm in her bed, but not here, not this night. Not like this, do you understand me? 
Rose: I can’t feel my body. 
Jack: Winning that ticket, Rose, was the best thing that ever happened to me… it brought me to you. And I’m thankful for that, Rose. I’m thankful. You must do me this honor, Rose. Promise me you’ll survive. That you won’t give up, no matter what happens, no matter how hopeless. Promise me now, Rose, and never let go of that promise. 
Rose: I promise. 
Jack: Never let go. 
Rose: I’ll never let go. I’ll never let go, Jack.

His Son is His Sun

Yoko, Sean and John, 1977

Pictures of You

It was Dela's birthday dinner on Saturday, which, to me, feels more like a good reunion with my best mates from junior high.

Birthday girl in the middle!

I really wanna make this post like a long, sentimental essay about them but I would bore you to death. But you know what? I don't care. I'm still gonna write it the way I want it to appear. If you look at the picture, you see that I don't look as if I'm in a party nor a private dinner. I didn't even put on make ups. I'm sorry hahaha that's just moi

Wulan, Nabilla, moi, Nesha

Me, Nabilla, Nesha, Wulan and Dela were best mates in 9th grade. We were all in the same class and we kind of hung out together a lot either at school or somewhat, outside. We had so much fun back then, ups and downs..... until then graduation came and we kind of grew apart. Nabilla goes to the same school as Dela and Wulan (and Pungky, but she's not pictured here since she couldn't make it to the dinner) but me and Nesha took another way. The way I see it, it's ironic. Nesha and I played Peyton and Brooke as in One Tree Hill (we're maniacs, I told you). Brooke and Peyton had always found a way to keep solid, and life as best friends is so easy since they live in a fictional small town. Tons of sad songs in your life wiped away just by stopping by Peyton's place, a short but smart talk and a big hug. But you see, the last time I met her was more than a year ago. We live in the same town but it's not small. Life isn't the same as on TV.

Brooke Davis and Peyton Sawyer! Hahahahaha

What surprises me the most is the fact that I kind of feel like I was facing a mirror when I met Nesha! (hahaha no, not physically, you might don't even wanna physically look like me hahahahahahaha) Not only because we REALLY love One Tree Hill and Sophia Bush but also because WE LOVE MILEY CYRUS and WE HATE SELENA GOMEZ. I should probably ask her more if she hates Twilight and Robsten too hahahahaha. We write blogs, yeah. Go check hers out! It's so charming, and it's just what she is. These 4 girls are very true to themselves, not every girls can be. Some girls wanna act like saints, but they're just what they are. They keep it real and true. The whole night we talked about One Tree Hill, our purses (which was the prototype of my dream Chanel purse. She said we're taking baby steps and price-wise, I'm in the first of 40 steps. Hahahahahahahaha), college, junior high moments..... you know, it's fascinating how she still remembers some of the talks we had. I never seen someone like that before. She wrote that in her diary. I mean, I write diaries too but I didn't take it that as far as writing conversations (yeah, once. with my crush). Oh, and about this guy who was dating her friend. This guy was....... the same guy who worth my tears :"((((((( well not anymore though. Anyway, she reminds me of something that really draw my feeling today:

The truth is, I don't really like to think about college. Cause that means high school's over. 
After graduation, everyone will probably go play basketball. Or sing or start record labels, -and I'll have to start all over. Alone. I'm sure I'll be fine. But like I said, I don't like to think about it.

Brooke Davis

Pretty girls. Hahahahahahahaha

Nabilla came kind of really late and that frustrates me at first because she wasn't on time. When I called her she was busy looking for a bakery just to buy herself some bread. Duh. I tried to dress up quiet nice because she wanted to introduce me to her (soon to be) boyfriend, too bad he couldn't make it that night.

If there's one thing I can learn from that night, it's that you CAN'T tell if someone's your best friend before you've been through enough. Like, how long have you known each other? You can't call someone who's just become your close friend for two months as your BFF. Remember that the last F stands for FOREVER and the term of forever is huge. It's complicated, sometimes scary. Or, how long have you lost contact with them and when you meet again you still feel the same chemistry as before? I suck in keeping old friends, and I'm just such a lucky bastard for having them. I just hope I could learn my "keeping old friends" skill as I'm graduating high school really soon. Oh, and also very important, have you gone to different schools? Have you gone through some limits, like, you can only go to some certain places which they can't go? I'm not saying we are the BFF but I just want y'all to know, you can't be best friends with just about anyone who came into your life without knowing what they will do to you in the long run.

B. Davis, P. Sawyer

wait, so who are these? hahahaha

All of a sudden I miss everyone...........................

John's mistake

Bet we all have seen Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist, so... here it goes.

Thom: Look, other bands, they want to make it about sex or pain, but you know, The Beatles, they had it all figured out, okay? "I Want to Hold Your Hand." The first single. It's effing brilliant, right?... That's what everybody wants, Nicky. They don't want a twenty-four-hour hump sesh, they don't want to be married to you for a hundred years. They just want to hold your hand. 

I love that quote, and that movie too. Proof that John thought it was so simple. But this song above? He admitted he's mistaken love.

And I found that love was more

Than just holding hands

Somewhere Only We Know Has a Name

I have posted the place in this picture once before. Now I know the name.

GORDON SQUARE GARDEN

Just in front of Virginia Woolf's house (later on also occupied by John Maynard Keynes). I didn't notice that. 

picture stolen from Wikipedia

Passion as pictured on my header

      I swear the first luxury I've ever bought would be Chanel quilted bag in black. My mum has the exact same thing but it's too big, so I don't want it heehee 

I'll See You When I See You

I made some major and minor changes to this page since I was so bored. The layout is not so new, in fact it's just what everyone has for their own. But the picture is, and those small thumbnails on the sidebar, they're also new. Well the picture isn't, t'was taken last June on a party but the others are. Like the Dani Stahl and Jefferson Hack's pictures. Yes, both are journalists from my favorite magazines ever. Why them? because they are my current role models. I never wanted to be something more than I wanna be a journalist like now. Jefferson is, in fact, the editor-in-chief. He went to my dream college (London College of Printing) plus dated and impregnated my favorite woman (Kate Moss). Dani Stahl is, well, you know her from Nylon. My current favourite movie, Amelie, it's old but AH-MAY-ZING. Currently listening is new, like, not so new but still new. The Noisettes rock, Shingai Shoniwa is my girl of the moment.

Cheers for the brand new Anonymous's Anonymous!

I'm Sorry Teachers, but Doris Lessing wrote this. not me. and I think it's genius

“Ideally, what should be said to every child, repeatedly, throughout his or her school life is something like this: ‘You are in the process of being indoctrinated. We have not yet evolved a system of education that is not a system of indoctrination. We are sorry, but it is the best we can do. What you are being taught here is an amalgam of current prejudice and the choices of this particular culture. The slightest look at history will show how impermanent these must be. You are being taught by people who have been able to accommodate themselves to a regime of thought laid down by their predecessors. It is a self-perpetuating system. Those of you who are more robust and individual than others will be encouraged to leave and find ways of educating yourself — educating your own judgements. Those that stay must remember, always, and all the time, that they are being moulded and patterned to fit into the narrow and particular needs of this particular society.”

This is not easy anymore

I don't know if you've been this weird, but I had it now. The reason why I made a blog is not because it's a trend. you can check the day I first write in this page, it's way before everyone start making a blog (and some just ignore it as if they don't have one now. trashy) Okay, so, the real reason is because I'm better to express something in writing. They said I have this facial expression that helps to express just about anything I need but no. Facial expression doesn't help. saying something you need to say in front of someone you wanna blame is not easy. so the first aim from this blog is to get someone to read my anger. I have a very unstable anger, you know, I might don't need anger management like Naomi Campbell but I do. My anger is so destructive somehow and it didn't took a psychiatrist to make me seek for an escape myself. That's why I made a blog. I had no problem even if zero person visiting this page, or there's no comments left, or there's no picture and people get bored. My biggest mistake was putting this page's URL on my Facebook page. In Facebook, I always try to control what I write or what I do, because I know EVERY SINGLE PERSON IN THE WORLD (sadly not someone I really wished he has), those whom I wanna share my life or those whom I wanna kick ass, have facebook and they could stalk me, be a part of my life and whatsoever. But that's not what I wanna do with my blog. I don't wanna be controlled for what I'm gonna do with this. I don't use Facebook a lot anymore. I was considering about deleting my account but when I think about it again, hey, why deleting, pretending to be cool? Facebook helps me connect with so many people (whom I want or not want to), my old friends or those who live overseas, share photos (I don't feel the urge to bring the digicam anymore), be invited to parties, or the most evilish thing is: stalking the life of people. as I wrote way before now, we know if someone is brokenhearted just by internet. Pain is no longer the thing you keep for yourself and your best friend, but also for thousands of your Facebook friends. Okay, back to the whole blog things, I just wanna say that it's no longer what I want. When I realized that some of the best people in my life are reading this, I felt honored and so thankful, especially if they have good feedback for me, no matter how untrue. But then, now what happens? I feel so confused about what to write, because I'm afraid a few people who read this would be offended, or not pleased, or it would unsafe for my private life (I sound like a celebrity? well, you don't know....) I sometimes get so stuck, and shallow and pretty damn lame. Like, I think about, "What if my uncle read this?" or, "What if my blahblah friends read this?" even, "No, my sisters don't have to know about this. because she will read this. who knows?" Same thing for Twitter, actually. and Twitter is actuallly even worse. I don't feel comfortable anymore, not because 416 accounts which is now following me, but for some people who can get free access to my life via Twitter. My tweets became so shallow now, because I don't want people to be offended, or people to offend me. We can say, "Oh, screw it. Fuck it, I don't give a fuck about what people say about me." But we can't deny that it hurts. I've seen people chaffed about each other, and that's rude. Or those fucking exhibitionists who show all things in their life off. Come on, we're all attention whore but don't get too much! There's a thin line between attention whore and exhibitionist in Twitverse but see, Twitter looks more like bitchfest nowadays, as people start to populate it. I remember of all 300 accounts in my MSN, there was only one friend who have Twitter and therefore I was the second. It was so free, I could tweet everything I want. Now there are plenty and they are now twitter whore. I never wanna unfollow someone but please stop. You are annoying. 

Saddest Weekend is OVER

We are always alone. When we were delivered to this world, we cry alone and others smiling, laughing and being grateful to God because we're alive, breathing and successfully born. As much as dying is the opposite of birth, don't you think the situation is the other way around? But don't worry, because apparently, we're all together in that loneliness too.

I know it's hard for us, but I don't think it's hard for him. As a friend, why don't we be happy for him? Yeah, say I'm not feeling the loose as much as you, but, really? he changed my way of life, man (my freshmen classmate must understand why) Wipe that tear away now for your eyes, live your remaining life and let's waste no time. We learned life's short, didn't we? So, here we go again. Aaaand, I have a new celebrity crush!

If you are waaaaay too kind to me and never missed a trashy post I did for this page, you know the last was Luke Worrall. And, well, call it the perfect antidote of Worrall's hotness and hunkness (haha, as if there's that word) the new crush is actually quiet nerdy (no, not in the McLovin's kinda nerdy) and normal. I mean, he's not that skinny or that hipster enough to appear in Dazed and Confused.... But he's funny, he's the All-American kinda guy, he's not in Disney (haha) and as if I need to say it again, he's funny. Anyway, you must know this guy especially if you watch Saturday Night Live because.....................it's 

ANDY SAMBERG! 

Hahahahahahahaha

These two in a frame = tons of laugh

Hahahahaha yeah

Funnyman O Funnyman

hey comedien